Hotel Nights
by bluephoenixsong
Summary: Jessica Caine was raped, tortured, & her unborn child murdered. Despite all of this Ryan Wolfe has stood by her side, giving her all his love that he could only to receive none in return. Now Jessica's about to make a decision that will change it all.
1. Graduation

**Here's the next story in my Jessica/Ryan series. The first half of this story was inspired by The Plain White T's song "Come back to me." This was actually one of my favorite stories to write.  
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_Jessica Caine makes a decision that will change her and Ryan's lives forever. Will this be the end of what they have or will Jessica be able to stay strong and hold out for Ryan?_

Sunday

_"What if our lives were viewed in credit card receipts? What would others think of us? Would they understand the mass amounts of gas station fill ups or diners across the country or the hotel nights? What would they think of us if they could see one of the most private things in our lives? What would our finical statements say to them? Would they know I tried to end it all? Would they understand why I did it? Would they know I tried to end our life?"_

Graduation

It was a celebration; a celebration of black flowing gowns, mortar board caps, and colored tassels. They walked to their seats in the brilliant sunlight in the stadium. The band played "Pop and Circumstance" as they poured down the aisle, waiting for their chance to cross the stage. She walked with the platform party at the front of the line with the President of the university. She smiled and waved to Horatio as she passed, the sun dancing off of her red aviator. Sunglasses weren't permitted to be worn by graduates, but no one seemed to care with her. She climbed the stairs of the platform. She stood before her chair and waited with the rest of the platform party, waiting for the rest of the graduates to take their seats.

The song came to an end and everyone took their seat. Horatio sat with Kyle and Ryan on either side of him. Alexx sat next to Ryan, along with Jesse, Natalia, Calleigh, Eric, Walter, and Tom. The Chaplin stood and gave the benediction and the ceremony began. The President stood at his podium and greeted everyone. He said the same scripted words Horatio had heard many times before in different places.

Then his speech transitioned into the guest speaker section. Horatio smiled when he saw Lieutenant Crawford stand and take the podium, dressed for presentation in his dress blues. He thanked the President and introduced himself as Lieutenant David Crawford from the Chicago Police Department. He began his speech by congratulating the soon to be graduates and their hard work. He talked about his days in college and the police academy. Then Horatio noted his tone became more somber as the next section of his speech began.

"Thirty-two years ago I met a young woman. She was smart, spunky, and had a lot of determination. She came to this country from Ireland as an exchange student to study Criminology. She came to Chicago to study and soon found herself in the Illinois State Police Academy. She served on the Chicago Police force for eight years. She married one of her classmates and gave birth to a beautiful little girl.

"Sadly her life came to an end far too soon. She was diagnosed with leukemia. She was only given six months to live, but she defeated the odds and lived for almost five years when the doctors said she should have died.

"In her memory the Chicago Police Department began an award in honor of Jessica Stone-Johnson. This award is given to someone within the Chicago Police Department for their excellence in service and dedication to the department. This year the Chicago Police Department has decided to grant this honorary title to someone not within the Chicago Police Department but someone who has still helped bring justice to our great city. It's only appropriate that the recipient is the daughter of Dr. Jessica Johnson and her father, Lieutenant Horatio Caine, was the first to receive this award when he served in Chicago.

"On behalf of the Chicago Police Department I, Lieutenant David Crawford, would like to present the Dr. Jessica Renee Stone-Johnson Service Memorial Award to Dr. Jessica Elizabeth Stone Caine for her aid in the location and capture of an escaped convict."

The stadium broke into a chorus of applause as Jessica stood and walked to the podium. Many of the students began to stand and soon everyone in the stadium was on their feet. Horatio couldn't help but feel himself tear up. Jessica accepted the award and shook Lieutenant Crawford's hand. He said something to her and a smile spread across Jessica's face.

Lieutenant Crawford finished his speech and thanked the audience for their time. He congratulated the graduate one more time and handed the podium back to the President. The President thanked Lieutenant Crawford and congratulated Jessica. He introduced the faculty speaker, Dr. Bires.

Dr. Bires congratulated the graduates and began his speech. He mentioned all the amazing students he had worked with over the years and how he watched them grow into professional adults. He mentioned one student in particular that had worked hard and earned three Doctrines in her five years at the university. She mentioned that her hard work and determination inspired him. She was an incredible student and he believed she would go on to do great things. He honored Dr. Jessica Stone-Caine and congratulated her on becoming the youngest recipient of the title Doctor of Philosophy for multiple degrees. He presented Jessica with an award for excellence from the Criminal Justice Department. Jessica stood and accepted her award as the entire stadium began applauding and stood honoring her.

When Dr. Bires speech ended the President took the podium once again.

"Well it seems we're hearing a lot about Dr. Caine today. I hope you folks are sick of her yet, because I would like to introduce our student speaker. She will be graduating today with degrees for Master of Forensic Science, Doctor of Philosophy in Criminology, Doctor of Philosophy in Chemistry, and Doctor of Philosophy in Forensic Science. She's worked hard in her five years here at Miami University and has been an inspiration to us all. Ladies and gentlemen please join me in welcoming Dr. Jessica Caine."

The audience, students, and faculty applauded as Jessica took the podium. They didn't stand this time, but waited for her to speak. Jessica stood before them and smiled.

"Thank you President Brown. Over the course of thirteen years I've attend three different colleges, earning different degrees at each of them. Through the years my focus of study has changed and so have my goals. I went from studying music performance to criminal justice, to chemistry, to criminology, and then finally forensic science. You can just imagine what my tuition bill must look like."

The audience chuckled at her joke and Ryan leaned over to Horatio. "She told me what it looks like and I'm jealous as hell." Horatio chuckled and smiled at Ryan.

"But through out the years one thing has remained the same." Jessica continued on, "The love and encouragement I received from my family. Though it may be small and we may have not found each other until later in life they were my rock. My father supported every career and education change that I made and supported me through everything. So needless to say when an internship opportunity opened up at the Miami Dade Crime Lab where my father is the Lieutenant I jumped on it and began work as a forensic specialist.

"My experience at Miami Dade was an incredible one. I learned a lot about forensic science first hand; finger printing, DNA analysis, ballistics, and, my favorite, how to drive a Hummer really fast through rush hour traffic."

There were more laughs from the audience as Jessica paused briefly.

"Along with the lab work I also had the chance to work in the field. I encounter countless brutal murders and crimes. I saw things people should never have to. I've been shot at, blown up, beaten, kidnapped, taken to the hospital more times than I can ever remember in my life, and had the chance to swim with a dead guy in a pond of rotting vegetation and dead fish, which also seemed to result in a trip to the hospital and a decontamination shower."

More laughs scattered through the audience and Jessica smiled.

"But there was one thing that truly stuck out in my mind, and that is teamwork. The Miami Dade Crime Lab is like a family; we work together, we eat together, and sometimes it feels like we live together. I learned the true meaning of family and love while working for my father. These last ten months have taught me more than any classroom I've ever been in….no offense Dr. Bires."

The audience laughed again and Dr. Bires waved Jessica off.

"Hard work and determination, that's what everyone says got me through these last thirteen years. Though it may be true that I worked my ass off and was determined to finish every degree that I started, in reality it was love, support, and encouragement, something you can't learn in a classroom. It's not something you can see, you can't buy it, and you can't give it up.

"To the Class of 2010 I would like to congratulate you all. You've worked hard and you've earned the degrees you will be receiving today. But never forget who and what got you here today. Never give up on anything you start. Nothing is out of reach as long as you're trying. That's something my father taught me fourteen years ago. Thank you."

There was a standing ovation as Jessica ended her speech. The stadium erupted into a sea of applause and cheers. It seemed to last forever. Jessica stood there and took in the vast amount of people that applauded for her. She smiled and knew her parents were clapping too.

* * *

><p>Jessica stood there at the edge of the stage with her classmates. Then it was her turn. The Dean looks at her and smiled. "Dr. Jessica Elizabeth Stone Caine" the Dean proudly announces, "Master of Forensic Science, Doctor of Philosophy in Criminology, Doctor of Philosophy in Chemistry, and Doctor of Philosophy in Forensic Science."<p>

The crowd erupted into applause. Jessica turned and looked into the stands. She could see her father and brother standing. The Dean had asked that the family of the graduate stand. She could see her sorority sisters standing. Then there was Ryan. He was standing next to Horatio. Then Alexx stood, then Jesse, then Natalia, then Calleigh, and then pretty soon everyone from the lab was standing and applauding her. Jessica felt tears form in her eyes. She waved to her father and he waved back.

Jessica walked to the President and accepted the four diploma cases from him. He shook her hand and shook his head. "Dr. Caine, you're something else. I think you're absolutely insane to be exact, but you're brilliant and you're going to do great things. Congratulations Dr. Caine."  
>"Thank you President Brown, it's been a real treat." Jessica said as she accepted her diplomas.<p>

Then it was over. Jessica was finally free. The graduates stood and ceremoniously moved their tassels to the left. Jessica smiled and looked across the sea of people. President Brown said his final congratulations. Then there were the hats. Mortar boards flying everywhere, people throwing them in celebration. Jessica pulled hers from her head and removed her tassels. She threw her hat high into the sky and watched as it floated in the breeze. The wind caught it and it flew towards the seats in the stadium. It seemed to glide as she watched it. Horatio reached out his hand and grasped it. He looked at it and smiled. He flashed it towards her and Jessica saw the decorations on the top she wasn't supposed to put there. In the center were her sorority Greek letters. Bordering the letters on top and bottom were two words. "Thanks Dad!"

* * *

><p>Jessica was surrounded by her sisters. They were cheering around her and the other graduates. It was loud and noisy but she had earned it. Horatio and Kyle watched and waited for her. When the cheer finally ended she broke from the circle and ran to them. She jumped into Horatio's arms and he held her against his body, kissing the top of her head.<p>

"My little girl," he said, "A college graduate….finally."

"Congratulations sis!" Kyle exclaimed, hugging her tight. He was wearing Jessica's mortar board and it knocked against her head.

Then Alexx was hugging her. "Oh baby girl, I'm so proud of you!" Then there were others, hugging her, kissing her, congratulating her. Jesse was releasing her from his embrace when Jessica saw Ryan. He was standing there looking at her. He slowly took a few steps towards her. She smiled at him. Then suddenly she was in his arms, kissing him, or rather he was kissing her. Jessica didn't want to but she returned the kiss with her own passion filled one. It seemed to last forever. There were fireworks and stars behind her eyelids. The butterflies in her stomach flew to her heart and made it hammer inside her chest. She didn't want to feel this way, but she did. There was nothing she could do about it.

He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "I love you Jessica" he whispered to her.

"Oh buddy! Looks like Wolfe's getting some tonight!" Walter exclaimed.

"Fuck off Walter!" Ryan said to him, bringing Jessica's lips to his again in another binding, earth scattering kiss.


	2. Minutes to Midnight

Minutes after Midnight

Ryan was driving them back to his apartment. They had just finished having dinner with Horatio, Kyle, and the rest of the team. He was holding her hand. Jessica was looking out the window, not ready to face him yet. She knew she had to do it soon, but she didn't want to do it tonight. But there was no other option. She could wait until morning but she would have to do it first thing in the morning.

They were inside his apartment. Ryan looked into her eyes and gently kissed her. No, Jessica couldn't do it tonight. She didn't want to. She needed to have one more night with him. Ryan stroked her cheek and smiled at her.

"You graduated," he said to her, "So stop thinking all the time." Jessica chuckled and he kissed her smile. She looked back at him and felt her heart melt. "I'm not ready Ryan."

He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "It's ok, I told you I would wait forever if I had to."

"Would you really?" she asked.

"Of course, there's nothing I care more about in this world than you."

"What if I was never ready?"

"Then I guess we become one of those old couples that never have sex." He kissed her neck, "It's not important to me, only you are."

Jessica wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his neck. She felt the tears form in her eyes and she hated herself for making this decision. She knew she had to do it though.

They were in his bed. He laid her down and kissed her gently. "I love you Jessica" he said into her ear as he tried to nip at her earlobe, but the four studs on each side made it impossible to find a free spot. He nipped at her neck instead. She could feel his stiff desire for her inside his pants. "I'm not ready" she said to him again.

He sat up and looked at her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable Jess." He shifted and Jessica caught him adjusting his erection within his pants. "I'm sorry, you're just so beautiful, and it just seems to happen. But I don't think I'm ready either. We're in this together, remember?"

"Can we just go to bed, please?" Jessica asked. She really wasn't tried, but she didn't want to see him lust for her anymore. If only he knew.

Ryan kissed her forehead. "Yes, I'm sure you're exhausted after such an eventful day." Jessica didn't say anything, just nodded her head.

They changed into pajamas and crawled into bed. He pulled her close against his chest. She felt more tears form as he kissed her head. "Good night love" he said to her. Jessica blinked back tears and felt her lower lip quiver. "Good night pumpkin."

* * *

><p>Jessica woke with a start. She laid there in Ryan's arms for a moment. She had been having another nightmare. He didn't wake up this time though. She crawled out of his arms and out of his bed. She checked the time. It was just mere minutes after midnight. Her one last night with him was over.<p>

Jessica pulled on her clothes and gathered her things. She loaded them into Horatio's Jeep she still had since the department still couldn't locate her Audi. She walked one last time around his apartment. She watched him sleep. He was alone and he didn't even know it.

Jessica walked into the kitchen. She pulled the two keys off her key ring. She held them in her hand for a moment, just looking at them. She set them on the counter. She hoped he would find them. She looked down at her hand. The small amount of light in the room bounced off the stone. She couldn't do it. She needed to tell him in person.

She walked to Horatio's Jeep and climbed in behind the wheel. Jessica looked one last time at Ryan's apartment. Tears began to stream down her face. She knew it was all over. It had to be. It was the only way she could become who she wanted to be.


	3. That Made Four

Monday

That made four

Ryan groaned when his alarm went off. He silenced it with his fist. He rolled onto his back and laid there with his eyes still closed. "Time to wake up Jess" he said. He reached over to the other side of the bed, it was empty. His eyes shot open and he sat straight up. He looked at the empty bed. He ran his hands over the sheets where she should have been. "Jessica?" he said loudly.

Ryan ran into the bathroom, but there was no one. He ran through his entire apartment. He looked in every room and closet and then he looked again. She wasn't anywhere. He was alone.

Ryan ran back into his bedroom and grabbed his phone. He called her but no one answered. He called Horatio. "Caine" he heard his boss say.

"Horatio, I can't find Jessica." He said, almost panicked.

Horatio was silent for a moment. "What do you mean you can't find Jessica?"

"She's not here, I woke up and she was gone. She didn't come over to your house, did she?"

"No, she's not here."  
>"Oh my god, where is she!"<p>

"Ryan, calm down, I'm sure she's fine. She may have gone into the lab early. It is her fist official day after all. She may have gone in early to get set up and everything."  
>"Are you sure?"<p>

"Yes Ryan, I'm sure. Just relax and go to work. I'm sure she's fine."

Ryan took a deep breathe and tried to calm himself. "Ok, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Ryan, everything's fine. Don't worry about it. She'll be there, you'll see."

* * *

><p>Ryan was at the lab early. He signed in and began looking for Jessica. She wasn't anywhere. Ryan felt panic begin to overtake him again. "Everything's fine, just relax" he said to himself.<p>

Horatio found Ryan, he didn't look well. "I thought I told you to relax Mr. Wolfe."

"I'm trying, I'm sorry, it's just nerve racking." Ryan explained.

"She'll be here, I know she will. Until then why don't you start back on the Paulson case again?"

Ryan nodded his head. "Alright, but let me know if you see her."  
>"I will Mr. Wolfe." Horatio said, "I wouldn't keep Jessica from you."<p>

* * *

><p>Jessica hung up her phone as she walked into the lab. Everything was set. She was ready to begin her new life, but she had a few things she needed to take care of first.<p>

She stopped at the front desk. "Hey Mel," she said. The young woman smiled at her. "Well hey there Jess, ready to start your first real day at Miami Dade?" Jessica smiled. "As ready as I'll never be. When you see Horatio can you give this to him?" Jessica asked as she held out an envelope with "Lieutenant Horatio Caine" printed across the front. "Sure thing girlie!" Jessica smiled at the cheerful young woman. "Thanks Mel."

Jessica walked down the hall. She found Natalia in the DNA lab. She smiled at Jessica when she walked in. "Hey there Jess, what brings you here? I don't have any samples from you."  
>"I just wanted to say thanks Natalia, for everything you've done for me. You've been the best big sister I've ever had and I can't thank you enough for being there for me when I needed you." Jessica wrapped her arms around Natalia and hugged her.<p>

Natalia returned the hug but was confused. "Well I guess you're welcome. What brought on this?" Jessica released her and looked into her brown eyes. "Life."

Jessica turned and walked out of the DNA lab. She found Eric in the hall and he beamed at her.

"Hey there Dr. Stone-Caine," he said, "Don't you have work to do?"

Jessica smiled and hugged him. "Thanks Eric, you've taught me so much and have been so caring."

Eric hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. "Anything for my little niece" he teased.

Jessica continued her path. She found Jesse in the break room. She knew this one was going to be hard. She and Jesse had become so close. In a way he had become the new Mark for her.

Jessica walked up to him and placed her hand on the small of his back. Jesse looked at her and smiled. "Hey there hot stuff, what brings you here?"

"I just wanted to thank you for all you've done for me this year. You taught me so much and I loved working with you. You saved my life, that day. Eric told me you were the one to get the water out of my lungs. Thank you so much." She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "You're one of the greatest guys I know Jesse."  
>Jesse looked at her. She could see the sorrow in his eyes. "Jess, what's going on?"<p>

"Don't worry about it." She said as she left.

Jesse stood there and watched her leave. His heart was hammering. He had seen this before, when Aubrey had taken her life. His best friend had killed herself. _"You're one of the greatest guys I know Jesse."_ That's exactly what she had said to him the day before she died. Jesse couldn't let it happen again. Jessica had become his new Aubrey. He couldn't stand there and watch her go.

Jesse walked out of the break room. He couldn't see Jessica anywhere. Jesse headed to the DNA lab. He hoped he could catch her with Natalia or someone else. Natalia and Eric were alone discussing results. They could see the panic on Jesse's face.

"Jesse," Eric said, "What's wrong?"

"Did Jessica talk to either of you?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah," Eric said, "She thanked me for helping her this year."  
>"Me too" Natalia said, "She wouldn't explain why either. It was kind of weird."<br>"I think something's wrong with Jessica." Jesse explained, leaning onto the table.

"Why? What's wrong?" Eric asked.

"I think…" Jesse said, trying not to break, "I think Jessica might be suicidal."

* * *

><p>Horatio walked into the lab. He had just returned from a crime scene with Walter and was getting ready to log in evidence when Mel stopped him.<p>

"Lieutenant Caine, this is for you." She said, handing him an envelope.

"Thank you Mel" Horatio said, setting down his evidence box to accept the letter. He looked at his name printed on the front. He recognized Jessica's cursive handwriting. He tore it opened and read the letter inside. Horatio looked at Mel in disbelief. "There has to be some mistake. This can't be right." Mel shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. "Jessica asked me herself to give it to you."

Horatio's heart started to beat too hard and there was a pain in his chest. "Walter I need you to log the rest of this in for me." He said to the other CSI.

"Yeah, sure H. Is something wrong?" Walter inquired.

"I don't know, but I need to find Jessica now." He looked back at Mel. "You haven't seen Jessica leave, have you Mel?"

Mel shook her head. "No, and I've been here this whole time."  
>"Thank you" Horatio said as he walked away.<p>

Walter looked at Mel. "What was in that letter?"

Mel shrugged her shoulders and shook her head again. "I don't know, I don't read the mail, I just deliver it."

* * *

><p>Jessica was dreading this. She had talked to everyone, everyone except one person. She hadn't seen her father or Walter either. She hoped they would be back soon so she could talk to Walter. She wanted to see him one last time before she left.<p>

Jessica could see his lab, the lab they had shared for so long. He was standing there looking at pictures, he seemed distracted though. Jessica fiddled with the ring on her hand. She didn't want to do this, especially here, but she had to. It was the only way.

She walked up to the door and knocked softly. Ryan looked at her and a smile spread across his face. "Hey there beautiful," he said walking over to her. "You scared me this morning." He leaned in to kiss her but Jessica pulled away. She didn't miss the hurt in his eyes.

"Ryan, I wanted to talk to you." She said, "Could we maybe go inside?"

Ryan nodded his head. "Yeah, sure. What's up?" he asked as she closed the door. She looked at him but then looked away. She didn't want to see his eyes, the pain that would ensue. She walked over to the table and placed her hands on it, her back to him.

"I wanted to talk about us." She said, "Our relationship."

"Alright," Ryan said, walking over to her. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Ryan, I... I just…. I feel like…" it was so hard, she didn't want to do it. "Ryan I think we need-" But she was cut off as Horatio came bursting through the door.

"Jessica," he said angrily, "What is this?" He slammed the letter onto the table.

"A piece of paper." She bluntly said.

"What's on it?" Horatio almost growled at her.

"Words."

"What do they say?" He was becoming more and more angry at her by the second.

"My letter of resignation!" Jessica blurted out. Her breathe hitched in her throat. "I'm resigning from the Miami Dade Crime Lab."

Ryan was shocked. He looked from Horatio to Jessica, to the letter, and then back at Jessica. "Resigning? What do you mean you're resigning?"

"I mean I don't want to work here!" Jessica said, "I can't work here, not anymore! It hurts too much to be here and I can't move on with my life if I stay! I'm not Jessica Stone, I never will be. My name is Dr. Jessica Caine and I've accepted a position at Denver University as a Professor of Forensic Science!"

People began to wander out into the hall when they heard the commotion. Calleigh stood in the doorway to the lab, a hurt expression on her face. "You're leaving us?" she whispered.

Jessica couldn't look at her. "Yes, I'm leaving Miami."

"But Jess, what about the lab?" Calleigh asked, walking over to her. "What about your family? What about…" She didn't finish her sentence. Her eyes wandered to Ryan.

Jessica looked at him for the first time since she came into the lab. His eyes were empty and his face was pale. Ryan looked at her with a hurt filled expression. "What about me?"

Jessica looked back down at the table, but then brought her eyes back to him. "I'm sorry Ryan, but I need to leave. This has been an amazing nine months but I can't stay." She continued to fiddle with the ring on her hand. "I need to move on. This isn't who I was meant to be. I'm sorry I don't want to do this but…" She couldn't finish her sentence. She pulled the ring from her hand. She placed it in his palm and closed his fingers around it. "I'm sorry Ryan, I guess I wasn't the right one."

Ryan felt his lower lip quiver as he continued to look at her. "You're leaving me? You're breaking up with me and you're leaving me for some fucking job in fucking Denver?"

Jessica didn't want to answer him. She reached up to touch his cheek one last time. Ryan pulled away and looked at her as tears began to form in his eyes.

"Don't touch." He growled, "Don't fucking touch. You son of a bitch!" he suddenly screamed. "I can't believe you! You had me going this whole time, didn't you! You don't love me, do you? That's why you haven't said it in almost two months! I've been pouring my heart and soul into you and you never loved me. Not once! You're just like the others." Ryan stormed out of the lab, almost running into Jesse on his way out. Jessica stood there and watched him leave. She didn't feel sad, she just felt empty. She felt like something was missing from her, like her chest was being torn apart.

Horatio brought her back to reality. "Well I hope you're happy Jessica." He said, "You've really done it now." He walked out of the lab and followed Ryan.

Jessica stood there feeling alone. She looked at Calleigh and could see how upset she was. "I can't believe this Jessica." She said, "You're really leaving?"

Jessica couldn't speak, she just nodded her head. "There's nothing left for me here."  
>"Don't do it." Jesse said, walking into the lab. "Don't leave. Tell Horatio you're staying. Apologize to Ryan, he might not accept you back right now but he will eventually. Don't go Jessie. We need you too much."<p>

"I'm sorry Jesse, but I have to." Jessica said, "I need to get out of Miami. I need to get away from the memories."  
>"But what about us?" Eric asked, appearing out of no where with Natalia and Walter. "What about your family here? Are we not good enough for you?"<p>

"No Eric, no one will ever be able to replace the family you've all become for me." Jessica tried to explain, "But I can't stay here. Here I'm Jessica Stone, and that's not really who I am."

"Then who are you?" Walter asked, "Because if this is what the new Jessica Caine is like then maybe you're better off leaving."

His words stung Jessica's heart. She couldn't believe what he had just said.

"You know what," Natalia said, "I think Walter's right. If you're becoming this new, self-centered Jessica then I don't want you here either. Congratulations on graduating and the new job. I hope you have a better life else where."

Natalia turned and walked away, Walter following close behind her. Eric gave Jessica one more angered look before he left. Calleigh stopped and looked at her. For a moment Jessica thought she was going to say something, but she didn't. She walked away, leaving her alone again.

Jesse came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You don't have to leave."  
>"But I need to." Jessica said. She walked away from him, but he followed her. She jabbed the buttons on the elevator and watched as Jesse disappeared forever.<p>

Jessica tried to catch her breath as she rode down to the first floor. When the bell dinged the doors opened and there stood Jesse. He had both of his hands placed on either side of the elevator doorframe and was panting.

"Don't go." He ordered her. "Please, stay. You don't have to leave. Please, stay with us. Do it for Horatio. Do it for Ryan. Do it for me, because I love you Jessica and I can't stand here and watch you ruin your life."

Jessica looked at him as pain stabbed at her heart. "I'm sorry Jesse, but I have a plane to catch."

She pushed past him and walked out the door.

"Don't do it Jessica!" Jesse yelled, "If you walk out now you'll regret it for the rest of your life!"

Jesse stood there and watched as she walked out the doors. He felt the tears form in his eyes and he slammed his fist against the wall. He bit his knuckle to keep from crying out as the pain of loosing his best friend again overtook him.

* * *

><p>Ryan burst through the doors of the locker room, the ring clenched tight in his fist. He paced, pulling his lab coat off violently. He threw it to the ground and stomped on it. Ryan continued to pace and looked at the lockers that lined the wall. "Dr. J. Stone-Caine" he read on one. He turned and punched it so hard it dented. "Fuck!" he screamed, "FUCK YOU!" He punched it again and again, each time denting it further. He sunk down to the ground and sobbed. He sat there and felt his knuckles throbbing.<p>

Someone walked in and he didn't care. He continued to cry in front of her locker. He wanted the pain in his heart to go away. He didn't want this to be happening.

The person knelt beside him and he felt a strong hand rub his back. He didn't need to look to know it was him. Ryan sat there and let him comfort him.

"It's alright Ryan," Horatio said, "Everything's going to be ok." He could hear the pain in his voice and knew Horatio didn't believe his own words.

"Why?" Ryan asked, "Why did she leave me?"

"I don't know, but we can figure this out together." Horatio gently took his left hand. "Let me see your hand." Ryan tried to pull away but gave up when he knew it was pointless. Horatio looked at his fist and Ryan felt his fingers graze over the back of his knuckles. He gently worked his fingers open and the ring dropped to the ground. Horatio looked at his knuckles. They were bruised but they didn't seem to be broken. He flipped Ryan's hand over and shook his head at the sight. The ring had dung into Ryan's hand and he now had large gashes in his palm that were bleeding. "Let's go clean this up." Horatio said, trying to encourage Ryan to stand.

"No!" Ryan snapped, "I don't want to move!"

"You're going to have to move Ryan, you can't stay here for the rest of your life."  
>"Then I want to die here!" he cried, "Just let me die!"<p>

"Ryan, you don't want to die."  
>"Yes I do! Then I won't have to live without her!"<p>

* * *

><p>Jessica climbed onto the plane. It was going to be a three hour flight to Denver. She had packed her bags and left in a taxi. She had two suitcases of clothes, her laptops, her guitar, and her trumpets. She didn't know what she was going to do about the rest of her stuff. Maybe she would come back for it. Maybe Horatio would sell it. Maybe he would give it to Ryan.<p>

Her heart hurt at the thought of her now ex-boyfriend. She thought she had loved him. Maybe he was right, she was just playing him all along.

The flight seemed impossibly long. Jessica stared out the window and felt empty inside. She really didn't want to be doing this, but she knew she had to.

The plane landed and she got off with the rest of the passengers. She saw a man standing by her gate. He was tall and skinny with dark brown hair and eyes. He held a sign that said "Dr. Caine" on it. She walked over to him and he smiled at her.

"Well you must be Dr. Jessica Caine." He said, "My name's Dr. Lenard Cooper." He extended his hand to her. Jessica shook it and tried to smile at him. "Oh my, that's a very nice firm handshake you have there Dr. Caine. I'm sorry if this sounds sexist, but you don't shake hands like a woman."  
>Jessica smiled at him again. "So I've been told."<p>

"Well I must say I've very pleased and surprised that you accepted my offer after all." Dr. Cooper continued, "It was a great surprise to wake up to this morning to see I had a voicemail from you. Unfortunately due to the short notice I didn't have time to arrange for housing for you. I'm afraid you'll have to be housed in a hotel for about a week until something opens up."

"That's quite alright." Jessica said, "I can deal."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. Are these your carry ons?" Dr. Cooper asked, looking at Jessica laptop case, triple trumpet case, and guitar case. "I thought they only limited it to one."  
>"They made an exception at the Miami Airport when I pulled out my credentials."<p>

"Oh the joys of working on the force. Well I never did, but I imagine you must have enjoyed it. I don't think I'm cut out for such work, but I do enjoy teaching Criminal Justice. Would you like me to carry that?" Dr. Cooper reached for her trumpet case. Jessica cut him off before he could touch it.

"No!" she snapped, "That's mine! No one touches my instruments but me! You can carry this." She shoved the blue and green argyle laptop case into his hands.

"Well that's an interesting pattern." Dr. Cooper commented, "Where did you get this?"

"My boyfriend bought it for me for Christmas." Jessica paused, taking a deep breathe. "Well ex-boyfriend now."

"Oh dear, it wasn't a nasty break up, was it?"

"Well, he didn't seem too pleased with my decision."

"Oh no, he didn't leave you because of this job, did he?"

"No, I left him because, well, I think I just I fell out of love."  
>"Love? Phft," Dr. Cooper scoffed, "Just another human emotion that seems to always be getting in the way."<br>"I have other bags." Jessica said, rudely pushing past him towards the baggage claim carousel.

* * *

><p>Ryan sat in the break room, drinking another cup of coffee. He wondered if he drank enough if he could die from a caffeine overdose. He had already drunk five cups. His bladder hurt, he needed to piss from all the coffee, but he didn't want to move. Maybe if he pissed himself he could go home. He could go home and be alone. No, he couldn't do that. He couldn't humiliate himself because of her. She didn't control his life anymore. Ryan was on his own now.<p>

Ryan slowly walked to the men's restroom. He stood at the urinal and pissed. He looked at his penis. There was still a faint bruise about halfway up his shaft. It had turned yellow and was almost gone. "Fucking bitch" he said, roughly closing his fly. He scrubbed his hands three times, just like he always did. There wasn't anyone to tease him about it now. "All those fucking months" he muttered to himself, feeling the tears burn in his eyes.

He walked back to the break room. He poured another cup of coffee and sat back down at the table. Jesse walked in and looked at him. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down across from Ryan at the table.

"How are you doing?" Jesse asked him. Ryan didn't answer. He just continued to stare at his cup.

"I tried to stop her." Jesse said, "I ran down four flights of stairs to beat the elevator. I stopped her. I told her not to leave." Ryan didn't answer. He swirled his cup and watched the coffee stir inside it.

"Ryan, please talk to me." Jesse pleaded, "I know you're hurting. You miss her already, but I miss her too. Jessica and I were really close friends. I didn't want to see her leave either." Ryan continued to stare at his foam cup. A single tear slid down his cheek.

Jesse sighed and stood from his chair. "If it's worth anything I wasn't trying to stop her for me. I was trying to stop her for you." Jesse left the break room and Ryan was alone again.

Ryan sat there, looking at his cup. His hands shook. Ryan wondered if it was from the caffeine or something else. He didn't want to be there anymore. The lab made him think of her too much. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring. He looked at it. It shined brightly even in the crappy break room lights. He had spent $1,200 on it. He had withdrawn all the money from his second bank account and bought it for her. He spent all that money on her and why? Because he thought he had loved her. He bought it for her because he thought she loved him too. He wanted to show her how much she meant to him and she walked all over him. She walked all over him like all the others had. He couldn't believe he had fallen for it again. That made four.

Horatio watched Ryan through the window of the break room. Ryan looked depressed. Horatio felt his heart break. He felt for the young man. He knew what it was like to have the love of his life walk out on him. Horatio watched Ryan pull Jessica's ring out of his pocket. He looked at it in his hand for awhile and then stuffed it back in his pocket.

Horatio walked into the break room. He placed his hands on Ryan's shoulders and gently squeezed them. "Come on Ryan," he said to him, "Let's go."  
>Ryan turned and looked at his boss. His eyes were blood shot like he had been crying, but Horatio knew he hadn't for awhile. "Where?" he quietly asked. It was the first time Horatio had heard Ryan speak since the locker room.<p>

"You're going home with me."  
>"Why?" Ryan asked confused.<p>

"Because Ryan the last thing you need is to be alone right now. Now come on."  
>Ryan turned back to his coffee. "I want to be alone."<p>

"No you don't. Now get up and walk." Horatio roughly ordered. Ryan blinked and tried to look away, but couldn't. He stood from his chair and looked at Horatio. He quickly looked away when he saw Horatio's eyes. They were the same eyes as hers, the ones he had given her when she was reborn. "Fine" he muttered.

Ryan followed Horatio through the lab to the locker room. Horatio opened his locker and placed his glock inside. He held out his hand to Ryan. Ryan looked at him, not understanding. "Your glock" Horatio said.

"Why?" Ryan questioned.

"Because of what you said Ryan."  
>"You don't trust me?"<p>

"I've been where you've been Ryan. I know what it's like."  
>"No you don't."<br>"Her name was also Dr. Jessica Stone."

Ryan looked at Horatio as new tears formed in his eyes. He pulled his glock off his belt and handed it to Horatio. He leaned his head against the lockers and watched Horatio lock his gun inside his locker. Ryan opened his own locker and looked inside. He found a box sitting on the top shelf. It was a small, black jewelry box. Ryan picked it up. He looked at it for a moment before he opened it. Inside were the key necklace and the turquoise bracelet Ryan had given her. There was a post it note on top. "I'm sorry" was all it said. Ryan broke down and started crying.

Horatio looked at Ryan. He could see the box in his hand and what was inside. He reached out and pulled the younger man into his arms.

"I'm sorry Ryan," he whispered.

"I bet she wasn't." Ryan sobbed in response.

* * *

><p>Ryan walked around the guest bedroom at Horatio's. It was the one Kyle had stayed in. Ryan bet Horatio did that on purpose. He didn't want Ryan staying in the same room she had.<p>

Ryan looked at the bed. It had a blue plaid comforter with matching solid blue sheets. The bed frame was made from some kind of dark wood that Ryan couldn't identify. He sat on it and ran his hands over the bedding. It was soft and felt like Jessica's. He buried his face in his hands and felt the tears start again. Ryan jumped at the sound of someone knocking on the door.

"Ryan?" Horatio's voice sounded from the other side, "Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm fine." Ryan responded quietly. "Thank you though."

"Ok, if you want anything just let me know."

Ryan sat there alone on the bed. He was alone again. This was going to be the rest of his life.

Ryan stood and walked down the hall to the bathroom. He had to piss again. He locked the door behind him. He did his business and then scrubbed his hands his normal three times. Ryan stood there looking at himself in the mirror. He looked terrible. But this was what he was going to look like for the rest of his life, alone and sick.

Ryan pulled out one of the drawers on the vanity. This one must have been Kyle's. There was after shave, a bottle of cologne, and a stick of men's deodorant in it. He shut it again. He pulled open the other. He knew this one had belonged to her. There was a can of her favorite kind of shaving cream, a bottle of nail polish, and a razor. He picked up the razor. It wasn't her normal kind, just a cheap women's disposable. Ryan looked at it and turned it over again and again in his hand.

He was suddenly angry again. He smashed the razor against the sink and the plastic broke. The two blades fell onto the counter and he just stared at them. Ryan picked one up and looked at it. He turned it over in his hand. He nicked his finger and jumped when he felt the pain. A thin trail of blood ran down his finger. Ryan ran his finger under water until it stopped. He examined the cut. It was tiny, no real damage done.

But he could do more damage.

Ryan looked at the blade. His sleeves were still rolled up from work. He watched the light dance off of the metal blade. Ryan lifted his arm up. He could see the blue vein running down his arm. He could do it. He could make the pain go away. He could be free. He could be with his mother again.

There was a click and the door opened. Ryan saw Horatio standing in the doorway, his keys hanging from the doorknob. Horatio looked at him and Ryan could see the disappointment in his blue eyes. Horatio walked into the bathroom and gently wrapped his hand around Ryan's that held the razor blade. "Ryan" he said quietly. Ryan felt his arms grow weak. His hand seemed to slip from Horatio's. The blade cut Horatio's palm ever so slightly. Horatio placed the blade back on the counter and washed his hand in the sink. He placed a band aide over the cut and then wrapped one around Ryan's finger.

"Horatio" Ryan whispered. It was all he could manage before he started crying again. Horatio pulled Ryan into his arms and held him. He walked Ryan back to the guest bedroom. Horatio sat on the bed with Ryan in his arms. He held him like a child. Like he had held Jessica so many times. Just like when she had had her heart broken.

Ryan cried. He cried and cried. He didn't understand why he was crying so much. He didn't want her to have this power over him. But she did. She had control of his life. She was doing this to him. He let her have his heart and she broke it. Just like the others. She was number four.

Horatio held Ryan. He felt Ryan's body shake against his own. It seemed like hours before Ryan stopped. He had finally cried himself to sleep. Horatio held him in his arms. He buried his face into the younger man's hair and felt himself start to cry.

"Jessica," Horatio said, "Please, I don't know what happened to our daughter, but she needs you. She's gone, she left us. I don't know why she left, but we need her back. Please, bring her back home to us. I don't know if Ryan is going to make it through this. I don't know if I can stand to loose her again. I know he's not our son but I want him to be. He needs our help and he needs our little girl back. Please Jessica help me."


	4. You Never Do

**Sorry everyone about the delayed update. I've been having problems with my account not allowing me to upload.**

Tuesday  
>You never do<p>

Jessica woke up in her hotel room the next morning. She looked at the clock. It was four o'clock in the morning. She groaned knowing she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep because of the time difference. It was six o'clock in Miami. She knew this because she had yet to change her watch. She didn't want to change it yet though. She wasn't ready to leave Miami completely behind.

Jessica crawled out of the bed and walked to the window. It was still dark outside. The world wouldn't be awake for awhile. Jessica had the world to herself. She pulled on a sports bra and a pair of running shorts. She hesitated but strapped her shoulder holster on with her glock. She pulled a long sleeve t-shirt over her head. She sat on the floor and stretched, working the kinks out of her stiff muscles. After she popped her contacts in and put on her running shoes. She grabbed her iPod, phone, and hotel key and walked outside.

The air was cold and crisp, mountain air. She looked up and down the streets trying to decide where to go. She stuffed the hotel key and phone into the pocket on her shoulder holster and put in her ear buds. She quickly found her work out playlist and turned the music up. Jessica took off running south bound down the street. She passed more hotels and little stores that were still locked up for the night.

The world was still asleep and Jessica had all the time in the world. There was no one there to tell her this wasn't a good idea. There was no one nagging her to slow down because he couldn't keep up with her young legs. Her father was back in Miami, probably getting ready for work. He was clueless that Jessica was out at four in the morning running alone.

She had all the time in the world. She had no father, no boyfriend, no friends, no family, and no baby to worry about anymore. She was free, just what she'd always wanted in life. She was free to be herself finally. This was her life now and no one else's.

She could do whatever she wanted now.

* * *

><p>Ryan woke up to someone stroking his hair. He shifted in the bed and turned towards the person. "Jessie?" he sleepily said. He felt the hand stop on his cheek and hold his face. When nothing else happened Ryan opened his eyes to see the familiar blue. But it wasn't Jessica this time. It was Horatio. He was kneeling beside the bed, his head resting on the mattress so it was level with Ryan's.<p>

Ryan felt his heart break as the memory from the day before came washing over him. He curled up in the bed and rolled away from Horatio. He felt the tears burn in his eyes and the ache in his chest ripped through him.

Horatio sat on the bed and pulled Ryan into his arms. Ryan didn't fight it, he just allowed Horatio to hold him. Ryan sat there crying again as his boss stroked his back.

"Why are you doing this?" Ryan quietly asked. "Why are you treating me like this?"

"I already told you Ryan," Horatio said, "I've been where you are before. I know how you feel."

Ryan continued to cry as Horatio held him like a child. He felt ashamed that he had allowed her to control his life like this. He felt Horatio bury his face in his hair. He could feel Horatio's tears falling into his hair.

"Why are you crying?" Ryan asked him.

"Because I can't stand to see you hurt like this Ryan." Horatio said.

"What's it matter, I'm not your son."

"I know, but I thought you were going to be."

* * *

><p>Jessica walked back into her hotel suite. She was drenched in sweat and was breathing hard, but she felt amazing. She had run for two and a half hours. She almost made it out of Denver before she decided to turn around and head back to the hotel. She couldn't remember the last time she had run so much. She felt alive and wide awake.<p>

She pulled her shirt off and unclasped her shoulder holster. She turned the water on in the shower and let it warm up while she checked her phone. Jessica pulled her phone out of the pocket of her shoulder holster. She had felt it vibrate a few times while she was running but hadn't bothered to look at it. There were nine messages from Jesse waiting to be read. Each was only one word.

'Miss. You. Like. Crazy. Best. Friend. Come. Home. Now!'

Jessica sighed and shook her head. 'I'm not going back to Miami Jesse. I'm staying here. You're more than welcome to come and visit me though when I get settled in.' She sent the message and waited for the response she knew was to come. Sure enough her phone started vibrating and she tapped the screen to open the message.

'No, I'm not going to visit you because you're going to come home.'

'No, I'm not going back to Miami! Everyone's better off without me.'

'Even Ryan?'

Jessica felt like her chest was breaking right open. The pain was so bad she thought she was going to have a heart attack. Tears streamed down her face and a straggled breathe escaped her throat. Why was she reacting this way? She though she was over that by now.

'Fuck you.' She responded.

Jessica dropped her phone to the bed and striped naked. She climbed into the shower and let the hot water pour down her body. She took her time cleaning herself and washing her hair. She let the water hammer against her scalp and body and wished the pain to leave. When she was done she toweled off and walked back into the bedroom. There was another message from Jesse. She tapped the screen and it opened.

'You suck.'

* * *

><p>Ryan walked into the lab with Horatio. He felt strange wearing Horatio's clothes. Horatio wouldn't permit Ryan to go home and change. He wanted Ryan to stay with him at all times.<p>

Horatio didn't give Ryan his glock back, but Ryan understood why. They were working on paperwork today. Or rather Ryan was working on paperwork. Horatio had handed off Ryan's case to Jesse to finish. Ryan read over the final report Jesse had given Horatio. "Due to personal reasons CSI Wolfe was removed from the case and CSI Cardoza took over processing the crime scene and evidence." Ryan read in the middle of the report. It hurt him to see that, but he knew he had to leave it. He could compromise everything if he changed the report.

Ryan sat there at Horatio's desk, reading and editing reports. He became lost in his work. He was deep in thought, trying to follow the report to guarantee everything made sense when it would be presented to a jury. Ryan didn't even notice how much time had passed until Horatio walked in with a bag and a couple of drinks. He handed Ryan a sandwich and a drink and pulled out one for himself. Horatio sat in the chair in front of his desk and unwrapped his sandwich and took a bite.

"Aren't you going to eat boss?" Horatio asked. Ryan smiled weakly. "It is kind of a change, me sitting at your desk, doing your work while you get to run around at crime scenes and fall into dirty ponds with dead guys." The smile left Ryan's face at the memory of falling down the hill. He had held her and protected her because he loved her. He had saved their baby without even knowing it. Now they were both gone.

Horatio wrapped his arms around Ryan's shoulders. Ryan hadn't realized he was crying until the tears rolled onto Horatio's sleeve.

"I'm sorry Ryan" Horatio whispered to him. Ryan shook his head and began to sob. "It's not your fault," he said, "You didn't make her leave. What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong Ryan." Horatio said, "Something's going on with Jessica. I don't know what's going through her mind right now, but I think she needs some space. She needs to see how much she's needed in Miami in order to feel she's made the right life decision. She's been in college for thirteen years and now she's in the real world. It seems to me she doesn't quite know how to act. And this whole thing with not wanting to be Jessica Stone anymore is really thrown me through a loop. If I didn't know any better I would say she's almost going through a midlife crisis, but I'm hoping my daughter lives to be older then fifty-six."

Horatio stood up and looked at Ryan. He still had tears running down his face. Horatio placed his hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes. "Everything's going to work out Ryan, you'll see."

Ryan placed his hand over Horatio's and squeezed it. "Thank you Horatio."

* * *

><p>Jessica followed Dr. Cooper through the halls of the science building. "Normally all Criminal Justice classes are held in Maher Hall, but since your class will require a lab you'll be teaching in Peele Hall." He explained, "Currently you are only considered an adjunct professor since you're technically not hired full time yet because summer sessions are only for part time enrollment. Unfortunately that means you have to share an office right now, but I'm going to assume that won't be a problem."<p>

They rounded the corner and Dr. Cooper stopped by an open door. "Oh William, you're here already?" he said to the man standing inside the office. The man smiled and walked to the door. He was tall, very tall, with sandy brown hair and black framed glasses. "Yeah, I heard about the new professor coming in and I wanted to introduce myself." He smiled at Jessica and her heart fluttered when she saw his eyes. They were hazel. They were more caramel colored than Ryan's green flecked ones but they were hazel. He held out his hand and Jessica carefully grasped it. He smiled at her and his eyes lit up.

"My, that's an incredible handshake you've got there Dr. Caine."

"Thank you, my Daddy always said a firm handshake makes a great first impression."

He smiled at her again with his hazel eyes. "Well you're father must be a very intelligent man."

"The best there is."

"I don't mean to be rude Dr. Howard but Dr. Caine and I need to finish our tour. I still need to show her the lab where she'll be conducting her class." Dr. Cooper said.

William smiled and nodded his head. "Of course, wouldn't want to keep you." He turned and looked at Jessica. "It was nice meeting you Dr. Caine."

"Like wise." Jessica said blandly.

Jessica and Dr. Cooper started to walk away when William popped his head out the door.

"Excuse me, Dr. Caine, but would you like to get a drink with me later?" he asked her.

"Alcohol? No." Jessica answered, "Coffee? Maybe."

William gave her a perplexed look. "Do you not drink?"

"Not anymore," Jessica said, "I'm a recovering alcoholic." She turned and continued on down the hall, Dr. Cooper having to pick up his pace from having heard such shocking news.

* * *

><p>Walter walked into Horatio's office to turn in a case report. He was so tired and hungry and hadn't had lunch yet. He found Ryan sitting at Horatio's desk filling out paperwork.<p>

"You're not Horatio." Walter said.

Ryan looked up at him with red eyes. "Good job Wally, here's your prize- a sandwich." Ryan dropped the bag onto the desk in front of Walter. Walter looked at him confused.

"A sandwich?" he asked.

Ryan looked at him again and nodded his head. "Yeah, a sandwich" he impatiently said.

"Isn't that your lunch?"

"Not anymore, it's yours now."

"Then what are you going to eat?"

"I'm not eating anything Walter, I'm not hungry. Now leave the damn report, take the sandwich, and leave me the fuck alone."

Walter dropped the case file onto the desk and grabbed the bag. "Whatever man" he muttered as he left the room.

* * *

><p>Jessica walked back into her hotel room. She was exhausted. Her phone said it was only nine o'clock but her watch said it was eleven. She had had a long day at the university. Dr. Cooper insisted on introducing her to every member of the Chemistry and Criminal Justice departments and a tour through all the labs, including the cadaver lab where she could find dead bodies she could use for experiments and class projects.<p>

Jessica flopped onto her bed and closed her eyes. She didn't get the chance to fall asleep because her phone started vibrating in her pocket. She picked it up to see Jesse's number flashing across the screen. She groaned and hit the answer button.

"Dr. Caine" she said out of habit.

"So now you're Dr. Caine?" Jesse asked.

"Yes, it's easier than saying Stone-Caine, ok?"

"Actually now that you mention it I'm not ok. Not having you here sucks. I miss you Jess and I want you to come home."

"No Jesse, I'm not coming home- I mean I'm not going back to Miami. This is my home now."

"No it's not and you know it."

"Shut up Jesse and tell me why you called."  
>"Because I love you Jessica and I miss you and I want you to come home." Jesse said, "We all want you home. You should have seen Calleigh wandering around trying to find someone to help her with ballistics. She needed another pair of eyes to compare striations on two bullets. She knew you were the best and she needed you. Now the case is delayed until Horatio can compare the bullets tomorrow because he's the only other one with your talent. Please Jessica come home! We need you!"<p>

"No you don't. I told you everyone's better off without me."

"Not Ryan. The poor guy looks like shit. His hands shake and his eyes are always bloodshot like he's been crying, but that's because he has. Horatio didn't let him leave his office today. Ryan sat there and filled out paperwork for Horatio and read over case reports. He's miserable without you."  
>"He's just going to have to learn to deal."<br>Jesse scoffed. "At least give him a call and let him know you don't hate him."  
>"No! I will <em>not<em> call him."

"Then say his name."  
>"What?"<p>

"You've refused to say his name this whole time. Say it. Prove to me you aren't this horrible person you're becoming, because that's how I feel Jessie." His voice cracked. "You've become someone else and I don't think I like her. You're not the friend I thought I had."

"Maybe I never was Jesse." Jessica hung up her phone without another word. She sat on the bed and stared at her phone. Water spots began to appear on the screen and Jessica realized she was crying again. She brushed them away with the back of her hand. She curled up into a ball on her side and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

><p>Ryan looked at himself in the mirror. He was still wearing the white button down shirt from Horatio and his dress pants. He stared at his reflection. He felt like he didn't recognize himself anymore. He looked different. He looked sick. He didn't care.<p>

Ryan took off his shirt and set it on a chair along with the dress pants. He pulled on the sweat pants and t-shirt Horatio had leant him to sleep in. There was a faded logo on the sweatpants and Ryan was just barely able to make out a familiar lion head with the letters PSU under them.

"Penn State University" he muttered to himself.

"They were Jessabelle's" Horatio said, walking into the room. He stopped and looked at Ryan. "She bought them when she was there for her grad work. They were too big for her but she loved them. I stole them one night while I was in her room in the East Women's barrack at the Illinois Police Academy. She didn't notice for two months." Horatio chuckled and a small smile graced his face. "She was so pissed that I took them. She tried to beat me up to get them back. I just held them over my head and watched her jump. She was almost a foot shorter than me so of course she wasn't going to get them back. She used her own method though, which eventually led us to my bed." Horatio's eyes watered at the memory.

Ryan looked at his boss and walked over to him. Horatio wrapped his arms around Ryan's shoulders and held him close.

"You never stopped loving her, did you?" Ryan asked.

Horatio held him tighter and cried. "You never do."


	5. I Don't Think I am

Wednesday  
>I don't think I am<p>

Horatio looked at the number flashing across the screen of his phone. He didn't recognize the Miami number but answered anyways.

"Caine" he said into the phone.

"Lieutenant Caine, this is Marsha from Palm Springs Insurance. We received a request for a replacement Audi Q7 from you two weeks ago after your daughter's was stolen. Yesterday your daughter called and requested that the car be delivered to Denver, Colorado instead of Miami. I was wondering if this is correct."  
>Horatio sat there baffled. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't keep Jessica's car in Miami in hopes she would come and get it. "Yes, I think that will be fine."<br>"Alright Lieutenant, I will contact the dealer in Colorado and have one delivered to the address she gave me. Does the car have to be silver or would another color do?"

"Any color you have will be fine. I do have one request though."

"Alright Lieutenant what would that be?"

"Can it still have Florida plates? And I would like to keep the current registration information."

The insurance representative paused and Horatio could hear her typing. "I think that can be arranged. I can keep the registration information but it might take some time on the license plate. The earliest I can have it delivered would be this afternoon if we can get the correct license plate. Will that be alright?"

"Yes, that will be just fine. Thank you Marsha for your help, you've done a wonderful job."

"You're very welcome Lieutenant Caine. Have a great day."

Horatio hung up his phone and set it on his desk. He rubbed his eyes and tried to will away the headache he could feel starting. "Little scam" he muttered to himself.

"Who's a scam?" he heard Jesse ask. Horatio looked to see the young man standing in his office, a case file in hand.

Horatio sighed and held out his hand. "Jessica, she called my insurance company and tried to have a new car delivered to Denver. What she doesn't know though is I'm the primary account holder so when she requests something like this they have to call me to confirm the change."

Jesse sat in the chair across from Horatio's desk. "She's really trying to stay there, isn't she?"

Horatio nodded his head. "I'm afraid so. I don't know what's gotten into her but this midlife crisis scenario needs to end."  
>"I tried to convince her to come home last night." Jesse said quietly.<p>

Horatio looked at him surprised. "You called her?"

Jesse nodded his head. "I've been texting her too. I keep telling her see needs to come home. She won't even call Miami her home anymore." Jesse's eyes watered and he rubbed them with the back of his hand. "She won't even say Ryan's name."  
>"Who won't say my name?"<p>

Jesse and Horatio turned to see Ryan standing in the doorway. He was pale and Jesse could see his hands were still shaking. He was dressed in a pair of his dress pants but one of Horatio's black pin stripped shirts. He looked weak and his eyes were still blood shot. He ran his hand across his unshaven scruff and he seemed to loose his balance for a moment.

"No one" Jesse said, turning back to Horatio.

"Who's no one?" Ryan asked. He stepped in front of Jesse and leaned against Horatio's desk. He crossed his arms across his chest and his whole body seemed to shake. Horatio stood and walked up next to him, placing and hand on his shoulder for stability.

"I told you no one." Jesse said as he stood from the chair. Ryan grabbed him by the front of his shirt and staggered. Jesse looked into his dark hazel eyes and saw tears forming. "Tell me!"

"It was Jessica!" Jesse yelled in Ryan's face. Ryan released Jesse's shirt and leaned back.

"You've talked to that bitch?" he sneered.

"She's not a bitch Ryan." Jesse said, "She's a wonderful person and she's my friend."

"Yeah, just like she was my girlfriend, and look where it's gotten me Jesse."

"Ryan, it doesn't have to be like this." Jesse said, "I've begged her to come home."  
>"Why? So you could rescue the damsel in distress? So you could have her all to yourself? Because god knows I'm not taking her back." Ryan looked at him almost crazed. "You can have her Jesse. I don't want her anymore. I don't need her. I'm just fine on my own."<p>

Jesse looked at Ryan and shook his head. "That's not why I called her. I asked her to come home for you Ryan. The two of you belong together, I can tell. The day you were arrested and she kissed you that's when I knew you belonged to each other. It broke my heart but I accepted it."

"It broke your heart?" Ryan asked him, getting in his face again. "Why would it do that?"

"Because I fell in love with her!" Jesse screamed, "That first day she came to the lab my heart hit the floor! She was so beautiful and I wanted her so badly. But I saw the way you acted around her and I knew you felt the same way. I wanted to ask her out but I couldn't. Something kept me from asking her. Then the two of you hooked up and I knew it was all over."

Ryan shook his head and laughed like a deranged man. "Well now's your chance. Take her. I don't want her. Go ahead, take her, keep her, make her yours. Let me do this for you Jesse because we're friends. Take Jessica and go make little Jesses."  
>Tears rolled down Jesse's face and he shook his head. "No Ryan, I wouldn't be able to."<br>"Why not? Isn't this what you've always wanted?"

"No Ryan, I can't have Jessie."  
>"Why not?"<p>

"Because I'm not you." Jesse said, "She told me you're the other half of her soul. As your friend I can't take that away from you. You and Jessica belong together, whether you're ready to accept her back or not. You need her. And she needs you. You were made for each other."

Ryan stood there speechless. Then his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed. He hit his head on Horatio's desk and fell to the floor. Horatio was on the ground kneeling next to him. "Ryan? Ryan? Jesse call an ambulance he's not responding!"

Jesse pulled out his phone and dialed 911. He knelt beside his friend and held his hand. Jesse looked at Ryan's lifeless face and prayed he would wake up.

* * *

><p>Jessica walked into her new office and found William already there. She exhaled slowly and walked over to her desk.<p>

"Dr. Caine" William cheerfully said from his desk, "Good to see you again!"

"Like wise" Jessica said. She placed her laptop on her desk and turned it on. It quickly came to life and she was greeted by a picture of her and Ryan together on her wallpaper. Jessica groaned and quickly opened her pictures to find a new one.

"Who's that?" William asked. Jessica jumped when she found him standing directly behind her. She elbowed him in the stomach and jumped across the desk. She hid behind it and peered over the top at him.

William was doubled over trying to catch his breath. "Damn, you don't waste anytime, do you?"

"What the hell were you thinking?" Jessica yelled at him. "Why the fuck were you standing so close to me?"

"I just wanted to see your wallpaper." William gasped, "That man, who is he?"

"What's it to you?" Jessica asked, moving back around her desk.

"I'm just curious and trying to make small talk."

"Well small talk doesn't normally involve creeping up behind a person." Jessica leaned over her computer and finished changing her wallpaper. She picked a picture of her, Horatio, and Kyle from Christmas. They were standing on Horatio's beach, one of his arms around each of their waists. They were smiling. They looked happy.

"Who's that?" William inquired, at a safer distance this time.

"My father and brother." Jessica bluntly said.

"Well I see beautiful blue eyes run in the family."  
>"Don't try to hit on my father."<p>

William's face turned bright red. "What? Your father! What the hell?"

"That's what I'm wondering."  
>"You don't get out much, do you?"<br>"Fuck off!" Jessica snapped, throwing the stapler off her desk at him. William dodged it and picked it up. He placed it back on the corner and backed away.

"Feisty, aren't you?" He asked, advancing towards her again. "Just the way I like them."

Jessica grabbed the stapler and whipped it open. She smacked his arm and watched William recoil, grasping his forearm where she had stapled him.

"I don't like people getting in my personal space." She said, "I would appreciate it if you would please back up."

"Damn, you could have said that."  
>"Well I would have thought the elbow in the stomach and stapler thrown at you would have been enough of a hint to get the idea."<br>"What the hell is up your ass that makes you so jumpy?" William asked and he carefully pulled the staple from his arm.

"I was raped!" she yelled at him, "My ex-boyfriend used to rape me when I was a kid! Then he escaped prison and kidnapped me and raped me again and again for three days straight! You get it now!"

William stood there shocked. His mouth hung open and he stared at Jessica. "My god…"

"Now if you'll excuse me I think I'm going to go write my syllabus in my lab." Jessica said, snapping her laptop closed. "You'll want to clean that with rubbing alcohol. I don't think I hit you hard enough to need stitches though."

Jessica walked around her desk but suddenly fell. She tripped and fell to her knees and her laptop case hit the ground. For a moment an image flashed through her mind. She saw Ryan lying on the ground and Horatio and Jesse kneeling beside him. Jessica gasped for air and felt her whole body shake. Tears formed in her eyes and she tried to catch her breath. William slowly approached her and knelt to the ground about five feet away.

"Are you ok?" he quietly asked her.

"I'm fine." Jessica quickly said. She stood up and walked out of her office and down the hall towards her lab. She pulled out her phone and sent a text to Jesse.

'What's wrong with Ryan? Please, tell me now!'

Within seconds she received a response. 'He locked his knees and passed out in Horatio's office. How did you know?'

'Never mind.'

* * *

><p>Jesse sat in the waiting room of the hospital with Horatio. Ryan was still unconscious and was getting stitches at the base of his skull where his head had hit the desk. Jesse's phone chirped and he pulled it out to find a text from Jessica.<p>

'What's wrong with Ryan? Please, tell me now!'

Jesse stared at the screen dumbfounded. He tapped Horatio on the shoulder and held out his phone. Horatio looked at the message and his eyes grew wide. "My god" he muttered.

Jesse quickly typed a response. 'He locked his knees and passed out in Horatio's office. How did you know?'

Seconds later he received another message from Jessica. 'Never mind.'

Jesse sat there in his chair and stared at his phone. "How did she know?" he quietly said.

* * *

><p>Jessica typed furiously at her computer. She looked at the example syllabus Dr. Cooper had sent her and continued working. She only had a few days to plan a six week course on the basics of forensic science. Her phone buzzing scared her and caused her to jump.<p>

"Dr. Caine" she answered.

"Hello Dr. Caine this is Marsha from Palm Springs Insurance. I just wanted to call and let you know your new car is ready to be delivered."

Jessica was surprised how quickly they had managed to find a new Audi for her in Colorado. "Alright, I'm glad to hear it. Where will you be delivering it?"

"Well we can either send it to the Marriott hotel where you're staying or we can bring it straight to the University."

"Well then if you can get it to Denver University in the next three hours I would appreciate that. If not just leave it at the hotel."

"Alright, where can we find you at the University?"

"I'll be in Chemistry Lab Four in Peele Hall, basement level."

"Alright, someone should be there within the next hour to give you the keys."  
>Jessica smiled to herself. Her plan had worked. "Thank you Marsha, you've been very helpful."<br>"You're quite welcome Dr. Caine. Enjoy the rest of your day."

Jessica hung up her phone and continued typing. There was a knock on the door and she turned to see William standing just outside the door. "Can I come in?"

Jessica sighed and closed her computer. "I suppose so."

William walked over and stood across from her at the lab table. He looked at the spot where his hands rested before he spoke. He looked up at her with a shy expression on his face.

"I'm sorry about my behavior earlier." He said, "I need to be more sensitive towards other people. You're just so pretty I had to get closer. I'm sorry I upset you; it was really immature of me. Could we maybe start over?" He gave her a weak smile. Jessica sighed and rested her chin in her hand and placed her elbow on the table.

"It takes a big man to admit he was wrong, especially to someone who he's only just met and has already assaulted him." Jessica said, "I accept your apology William and your request to start again. I'm also sorry about elbowing you, throwing the stapler, and stapling you." Jessica paused for a moment. "And for telling you to stop hitting on my dad." She offered him a small smile and he returned it with one of his own.

"It's alright, I need to remember not everyone is as touchy feely as me." He said. He slowly reached his hand across the table. He stopped just in front of hers and looked at her with concern filled eyes. Jessica smiled and closed the distance between their hands. He gently held hers in his own and stroked the back of her fingers with his thumb. He didn't miss the tan line on her finger where her ring had once been.

"You were engaged?" he hesitantly asked.

Jessica shook her head. "No, my boyfriend gave me that ring as a gift."

"Boyfriend?"

"Well ex-boyfriend now."

"I'm sorry" William said.

Jessica smiled at him. "I don't think I am."

* * *

><p>Ryan groaned and rubbed his eyes. His head was throbbing and he felt like shit. He slowly opened his eyes to see Horatio sitting next to him. He blinked a few times and the world came into focus. "Horatio, where am I?"<p>

"You're in the hospital Ryan." Horatio gently said, "You locked your knees when you were in my office and passed out. You hit your head on my desk."  
>Ryan slowly lifted his head and felt the stitches on the back of his head. He winced when he touched them and lowered his head back down. "Fucking hospital again" he muttered.<p>

Jesse walked in and looked at Ryan. He gave him a weak smile and sat next to Horatio. "Hey buddy" he said quietly.

Ryan looked at him and felt himself tear up. "I'm sorry Jesse," he said, "I was such a douche to you."  
>"It's alright, you were upset." Jesse said, gently taking his hand.<p>

"No, it's not alright. You've been trying to help me and I've been an asshole to you." Ryan said, squeezing Jesse's hand. "I'm sorry I said those things to you. You deserve a better friend than me."

"No Ryan, there's nothing wrong with you. You've just had a really rough week and hearing me say those things probably didn't help." Jesse squeezed Ryan's hand back. "I'm sorry Ryan, you're ready to move on with your life and I'm just holding you back. I understand that you don't want Jessica in your life anymore and me telling you that you need each other isn't helping. I'll stop calling her if you want. I won't tell her to come home."  
>"No Jesse, you do what you want. Like you said she's your friend. Just because she's my ex-gi" Ryan seemed to stutter over the word. "My ex-girlfriend you shouldn't have to stop being friends with her." Ryan looked at Horatio. "H, I'm sorry I said she was a bitch and all those terrible things about her. She's still your daughter and I need to respect that."<p>

"Yes but right now she is being a selfish little bitch." Horatio said angrily, "I don't know what's going on with her and why she's being so selfish. I'm done fighting with her though. If this is how she wants to live her life then so be it."

Ryan looked at Horatio and felt tears form in his eyes again. He leaned his head into the pillow and closed his eyes. As soon as he did something flashed through his mind. He saw her. There she was, sitting at a lab table with another man. She was holding his hand. She was smiling.

Ryan's eyes snapped open and he pushed his head further into the pillow, resulting in pain shooting through his head from pressure on the stitches. Horatio's hand flew to his forehead and stabilized him. "Ryan," he said, "What's wrong?"

Ryan gasped for air and felt his body start to shake again. Tears slid down his face as he tried to form words. "I don't know," he finally said, "I saw her."

"Saw who?" Horatio inquired.

"I saw Jessica. She was, she was with another man. He was holding her hand." Ryan gasped for air. "She looked happy."

Jesse looked at Ryan in disbelief. "Excuse me" he muttered as he left the room. In the hall he pulled out his phone and sent Jessica a text.

'What's his name?'

It took a few minutes but Jessica finally responded. 'His name is William. He's a professor in the Chemistry department and we share an office. Why?'

'You saw Ryan, didn't you? You saw him hit his head.'

'No, I saw him lying on the ground with you and Horatio next to him in Horatio's office. Why?'

'Because he saw you. He saw you with William.'

Jessica didn't respond. Jesse sent the message again to make sure she actually got it, but there was still no response.

Horatio walked into the hall. "Jesse, what's going on?" he asked. Jesse held his phone out and Horatio read through the texts. He looked at Jesse in disbelief. "How?" was all he could manage.

Jesse shook his head. "I don't know, I really don't know."

* * *

><p>Jessica walked with William out into the parking lot, her conversation with Jesse still fresh in her mind. How could Ryan have seen her with William when she was thousands of miles away? But then again how did she see Ryan hurt? Nothing made sense to her anymore.<p>

She looked around the parking lot but couldn't see her car anywhere. She lifted the electronic key the auto dealer had given her and hit the lock button. A blue SUV chirped and blinked its lights. She hit the button again and sure enough she received the same response. Jessica walked over to it and looked at it. It was the same shade of blue as Horatio's Jeep. She walked around it and examined it. She stopped when she got to the back license plate. It was a Florida plate with the same numbers as her old one. That damn orange tree in the center of it.

Jessica pulled her phone out and called the insurance company.

"Palms Spring Insurance, this is Marsha."

"Marsha, this is Dr. Caine. Why does my car have Florida plates?"

"Well your father is still the primary holder of the insurance plan so we had to confirm with him the location change. When we did so he requested Florida plates be used."  
>"But I live in Colorado."<br>"Well he said you might say something like that. He told me to tell you then maybe you should change your driver's license if you're really serious about this."

Jessica was so mad she hung up her phone without another word. "Fucking bastard" she muttered.

"Is this your car?" William asked, approaching Jessica's new Audi Q7.

"I guess so."

"You seem upset."  
>"It was supposed to be silver."<p>

"What do you mean?"

"My car was stolen and the insurance company replaced it. I guess they were out of silver today so I get stuck with blue."

"I like it." William said, "It matches your eyes." He smiled at her and Jessica returned it with one of her own. "So Dr. Caine, how about some coffee?"

Jessica sighed and thought it over. "Oh hell, why not?"

William smiled a wide grin. "Great, would you mind driving? My car's in the shop and I took the bus today."  
>"Well maybe I wanted to follow the bus all the way to the coffee shop." Jessica teased. William chuckled and opened the driver door for her.<p>

It was a short drive to the small coffee shop. Jessica savored the flavor of her black coffee. It felt like it had been so long since she had had coffee. Running every morning seemed to wake her up enough she didn't need the brown life juice anymore.

They talked and William told Jessica all about his studies. He was working on a super glue experiment that he could use with his introduction to chemistry class. Jessica helped him develop a procedure he could use in order to test the strength of each glue.

"If you sand the blocks of wood then it will change the surface so instead of the glue having to fill in all the crevasses on the wood it will have a smooth surface to adhere to."

"Really?" William asked surprised, "I never knew that. You're really smart."  
>Jessica smiled. "Thank you, I actually have my Doctrine in Chemistry."<br>"But I thought your PhD was in Forensic Science."  
>"My third one is, my second is Chemistry."<br>"Wait, third? How many do you have?"

"Three, the first is Criminal Justice."

"Holy cow, three Doctrines, you must be some kind of genius."  
>"Well, I guess it is kind of a lot."<p>

William smiled and reached across the table to hold her hand. "I think it's incredibly, just like you." Jessica smiled at him. She looked at their hands together on the table. His was larger than Ryan's and easily engulfed hers. Her heart didn't flutter and there were no butterflies in her stomach like there was with Ryan. Jessica pushed all the thoughts about him quickly out of her mind.

When they left they stopped at the bus stop right outside the coffee shop. William attempted to hold Jessica's hand but she avoided it by stuffing her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt.

"Are you sure I can't give you a ride home?" she asked him, trying to be polite.

"No that's quite alright. I live on the other side of town, I wouldn't want to inconvince you."

"Alright" Jessica said, not missing his hint that he would actually like the ride. He looked at her a little disappointed but smiled.

"I had a good time Jessica." He said to her. He leaned down towards her and Jessica knew what he was about to attempt. Jessica roughly placed her hand on his chest and stopped him when he was just inches from her face.

"I didn't say you could call me Jessica." She turned and walked away from him, leaving him standing there dumbfounded and disappointed at the bus stop.

* * *

><p>Ryan didn't know where he was. He was in some kind of parking lot, he knew that much. It was small with only about half a dozen cars. They all had the same Colorado license plate. Except for one. This one was from Florida. There was a little building. He walked towards it. He could see inside there was a coffee shop. Ryan looked around at the late night guests.<p>

Then there she was. She was with the same man. He was tall, really tall, maybe even taller than Walter. He had dark brown hair and black glasses. They were drinking coffee and talking. He smiled at her a lot and Ryan could see the blush form on his cheeks when he looked into her eyes. He held her hand and she smiled at him. But she pulled her hand free and rested it in her lap.

Then they were outside. She was offering him a ride home. He declined but hinted he would like one. She seemed content though with not driving him home after all.

"_I had a good time Jessica."_ He leaned in towards her. He was going to kiss her! Ryan's blood started to boil and he didn't know why. She roughly placed her hand on his chest, stopping him when he was almost at her face. _"I didn't say you could call me Jessica."_ She said to him as she turned and walked away.

Ryan chuckled and smiled smugly. _"Serves you right, asshole"_ Ryan said.


	6. What about him?

Thursday  
>What about him?<p>

Ryan slowly woke up and looked at Horatio standing over him. "How are you feeling today?" Ryan knew he wasn't asking just about his head. "I don't know" Ryan quietly replied.

"Do you want to stay home today?" Horatio asked him.

Ryan shook his head. "I want to go to work." Ryan sat up and rubbed his eyes. "I had a weird dream last night. I was outside a coffee house where Jessica was….I think she was on a date. With some guy from the University I think. He called her Jessica and tried to kiss her." Ryan smiled as he recalled the dream. "She stopped him and told him she didn't say he could call her Jessica."

Horatio sat on the bed and chuckled. "Sounds like my daughter. Did you happen to see if she got her new car?" Horatio jokingly said.

"She did, Florida plates and all."

Horatio looked at him surprised. He reached up and gently stroked Ryan's hair. "You look like you feel better Ryan."

Ryan sighed and felt his eyes water. "I guess so." He rubbed his eyes, hoping to hide the fact he had started crying, but he knew Horatio would still notice. "What's wrong?" Horatio asked him.

"It's just, I saw her and she looked happy without me." Ryan said, his voice cracking ever so slightly. "It's like she's already moved on. It makes me feel like I should have moved on but I haven't. I still love her and I can't get her out of my head."

Horatio pulled Ryan into his arms and held him. He listened to Ryan cry for a few moments before he found his voice again. "They never go away Ryan. You never stop loving them."

* * *

><p>Jessica woke up with her head pounding and her heart hurting. All night long she had dreamt about Ryan. The first day they met. The first scene they processed together. The first night they were together. The time they had hid in the shower in the locker room having sex. The time they pulled off the road to have a quickie in the car ride home. The time she tried to convince him they needed to join the mile high club on their plane ride to the Keys. The weekend they spent together in her bed doing nothing but having sex. The way he filled her but never hurt her. The way his tongue felt wrapped around her clitoris.<p>

The first time he said he loved her.

Jessica curled up in a ball and cried. She tried to convince herself that this was what she wanted. She wanted to become someone else. Start somewhere new where no one knew her and she could be who ever she wanted.

It was so difficult. She didn't want to do it anymore. She wanted to go home. But she couldn't. She couldn't prove them right. She couldn't let them win. Besides, would Ryan even take her back after what she did?

Jessica climbed out of the bed and pulled on her running gear. She grabbed her shoulder holster but thought it over. She pulled it on anyways. She figured she couldn't be too safe.

Jessica ran. She ran as far and as fast as she could. She didn't want to stop. She wanted to keep running until her past could no longer catch up to her.

Until she could no longer remember she loved him.

* * *

><p>Ryan stepped out of the shower. Sitting on the counter was a set of clothes for him. It was the same thing every day. Horatio snuck in while he was showering and switched the worn ones for new clothes. Only this time he had done something different. There was a razor and shaving cream sitting on the counter. Ryan walked over to the counter and looked at his reflection. His face was covered in a rough scruff. He hadn't shaved in days. He knew Horatio wasn't going to let him after Monday night.<p>

Ryan picked up the can and gave it a good shake before dispensing some into his hand. He rubbed the shaving cream across his face, chuckling at his full white beard. His hand shook as he lifted the razor. He set his hand back down and took a deep breathe. "Relax Ryan," he said to himself, "You can do this." He lifted his hand again and the shaking had subsided a little. It took him longer than normal and he nicked himself a few times but eventually Ryan rinsed his face and looked at his handy work in the mirror. He borrowed some of Kyle's aftershave and winched when it hit the small cuts on his face.

Ryan finished getting dressed and wandered down to the kitchen. The coffee pot was already full and he took the liberty of pouring a cup for him and Horatio. He drank it black and felt it bring his senses back to life. Ryan looked around the kitchen and noticed a scrapbook sitting on the table that hadn't been there the night before. He walked over and sat down.

It was maroon with gold lettering on the front. There was an embossed gold Celtic knot that bordered the edge of the book. Across the front it said "Memories fade but love will always stay."

Ryan hesitated but opened the book. He looked at the first picture. It was a picture of Kyle and Jessica sitting together on a beach. "You have me and I have you. Together we'll always be." It said under the picture. He was about to turn the page when he did a double take. Jessica's eyes were green in the picture and Kyle's hair was too dark. Ryan leaned in closer and looked again. Something ran down the length of Jessica's upper arms on each side and Kyle didn't have the eagle tattoo on his right arm. Then Ryan noticed they were holding hands and Kyle's arm was wrapped around Jessica's waist.

Ryan leaned back and felt a lump form in his throat as he realized who they really were. "Jessica and Horatio" he muttered to himself.

"Spring break in Miami Beach, our first year at the academy." Ryan turned to see Horatio standing in the doorway. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed the mug off the counter. He joined Ryan at the table and looked at the picture. "She walked up to some random woman and asked her to take our picture. Jessabelle was never shy."

Ryan looked at the picture and smiled. "You look just like Kyle, or I guess he looks just like you."

Horatio smiled. "Yeah, that was the first thing I noticed when I met him. He looked just like I did when I was sixteen, his hair's more blonde though. It was the eyes that really gave it away."  
>"Where did you get your eyes?" Ryan asked, looking at Horatio.<p>

"My mother," Horatio quietly answered.

Ryan gave him a reassuring smile. "Me too."

Ryan turned the page. There was the young Horatio and Jessica Stone dressed in their Illinois State Police Academy uniforms in various pictures. They were running an obstacle course against each other, wielding paintball guns in a simulation scene, and arm wrestling in the canteen. From the looks of it Jessica was beating Horatio. Ryan picked out the younger version of Brian Johnson from the picture in Jessica's condo, the external unit of his cochlear implant stuck to the side of his head and a shoulder holster attached to his back.

"Brian used to carry the battery pack in a shoulder holster." Horatio said, "It was easier than having the cords trail in front in a fanny pack like he usually used."

Ryan continued to look at the scrapbook, smiling at picture after picture of the young Horatio and Jessica Stone. There ones from the Academy, more from spring break, pictures from trips that Horatio remised about, and even ones from the hospital when she was dying.

Ryan looked at one picture and gasped. He looked at Horatio with a mixture of confusion and curiosity. "H, are you getting a tattoo in this one?"

Horatio chuckled, as he unbuttoned his shirt. "Yes, that damn Jessabelle convinced me to get it." Horatio pulled down his shirt so that his back was exposed. On the left side of his back just above his shoulder blade were three Japanese Kanji characters. "Peace, Love, Ladybugs" Horatio said.

Ryan blinked back tears and smiled at his boss. Horatio detected the sorrow in his gaze. "What's wrong Ryan?"

"After I took Jessica to Dr. Thompson's we went out for dinner to celebrate our nine month anniversary early. I toasted to love, excitement, and life. She smiled and told me peace, love, and ladybugs." Ryan rubbed his eyes. "She told me it was something her mother came up with for her sorority." Horatio squeezed Ryan's shoulder as he pulled his shirt back on. Ryan brushed the sorrow away and turned the page a few more times.

He stopped when he got to a picture of Jessica Stone. She was pale and thin sitting in a hospital bed. She had a green bandanna with ladybugs on her head and Ryan guessed she was bald underneath it. Horatio was sitting next to her in the bed. Their heads were leaning against each other. They were smiling. They were genuinely happy sitting there in the hospital bed together as she slowly slipped away. A hospital bracelet was attached to the page with the name "Jessica Stone-Johnson" and her medical information on it. Below the picture someone had written "You are my soul and without you I'm incomplete."

"That was the day was single handedly one of the best days of my life." Horatio said, "I came to visit Jessica and she told me she wanted to talk to me about something. I held her hand and noticed she wasn't wearing her wedding ring anymore. She said she took them off because she didn't want to loose them. Her fingers had become so small they kept slipping off and she was afraid she was going to loose them.

"She told me Brian wouldn't be back for a few hours and asked me if I wanted to join her. She pulled back the blankets and I crawled into the bed with her. We sat there together for awhile. A nurse took that picture. She held my hand and told me it was the first time she actually felt warm in months. Her body was so small and she had lost so much muscle tone. She said she was always cold and that some nights she wished I was there to keep her warm."

Horatio wiped his eyes at the memory. "She kissed me. I was shocked at first but I kissed her back. I told her I still loved her and she said she never stopped loving me." Horatio smiled and chuckled. "We had sex, right there, in the hospital bed. We re-proclaimed our love for each other and our souls were contented again. That's what she always said, our souls were contenting, because it was more than sex. At least one nurse walked in on us, I don't know about any others though.

"When we were done I laid there with her. Jessabelle stroked my hair and said she would always love me." Horatio paused for a moment, seeming like he was trying to recompose himself. "She asked me to marry her. She said when she was out of the hospital and her cancer was in remission she would divorce Brian and we would get married. She would take Izzy Bug with her and we would move to Miami and start a family of our own. She pulled her bracelet off and gave it to me. She said she was sorry it wasn't as fancy as the ring I had picked out for her but it was all she could do."

"What did you tell her?" Ryan asked.

"I said yes. I told her I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her. She said she knew because-"

"I am your soul…" Ryan said.

"And without you I'm incomplete." Horatio finished.

Ryan looked at Horatio surprised. "Has Jessica ever heard you say that?"

Horatio shook his head, a perplexed expression on his face. "Not that I know of, why do you ask?"

Ryan felt his heart grow heavy at the memory. "Because Jessica said that to me one day. The day I gave her the ring she told me 'You are my soul and without you I'm incomplete.'"

Horatio looked at him. "I don't know what to say Ryan."  
>Ryan smiled. "Great minds think alike." Horatio smiled and chuckled at his statement.<p>

"So Dr. Stone-Johnson asked you to marry her." Ryan said, changing the subject back. "Did either of you ever tell Brian?"

Horatio shook his head. "It was our secret. Everything Jessabelle had done up to that point in their marriage she had done for him. She said this was for her. For us. We were going to become the family we should have to begin with. She told me the only good thing that came out of her marriage with Brian was Jessie Bug."

Horatio rubbed his eyes and sighed. "That was two years before she died. Exactly twenty-six years ago."  
>Ryan looked at Horatio. "What day did she die?"<p>

"May 6th, 1986" Horatio answered.

Ryan reached across the scrapbook and held Horatio's hand. "She died twenty-four years ago today."  
>Horatio nodded his head and the tears silently fell. "And I never once stopped loving her."<p>

* * *

><p>Jessica looked at the date printed across the screen of her phone. She couldn't believe she had forgotten. She felt terrible she forgot what day it was. She reached up and touched the pearl necklace around her neck. She was thankful she had decided to wear them that day.<p>

William walked in and looked at her. "Dr. Caine, is something wrong?" Jessica shook her head and continued to type. "Dr. Caine," he said, pulling a chair in front of her desk, "You can tell me. I promise I'll listen."  
>Jessica looked at him and shut her computer. "Today's the anniversary of my mother's death."<p>

"Oh no" William said quietly.

"She died twenty-four years ago. She lost her battle against leukemia after almost five years."

"I'm so sorry Dr. Caine," William said to her, "I know it can be difficult loosing a family member. I was crushed when my grandmother died." He watched Jessica play with the pearls around her neck. "Was that her necklace?"

Jessica smiled and nodded her head. "Yes, her will said I was to inherit it. I wasn't permitted to have them though until after I turned eighteen. They were a gift from my grandparents to her when she moved to America and joined her sorority. Real Irish freshwater pearls."  
>"Where was your mother from?"<p>

"Ireland, she became a US citizen during her second year at Penn State. She was tried of dealing with Visas and passports. She had duel citizenship for America and Ireland."

"What did she look like?"

"Me, but with green eyes instead of my father's blue."

"They look lovely on you."  
>"What?"<p>

"Both, the pearls and the eyes." William smiled at her. "Your parents must have been blessed to have a daughter like you. I'm surprised you don't have red hair though, your mother being a blonde and your father a red head."  
>"My biological father had brown hair and brown eyes."<p>

"Biological?"

"I'm adopted now. When I was fourteen my biological father died and my Godfather adopted me."

"Then how did you get his eyes?"  
>"Kidney transplant, both of mine died and he gave me one of his. My hair became straighter, not the tight curls like I had, I grew taller, like my Godfather, both my parents were incredibly short, and my eyes turned blue." Jessica looked at William. He looked at her eyes and Jessica could see him taking them in, seeing them in a whole new light. Just as Ryan had.<p>

Jessica suddenly stood from her desk and grabbed her purse. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Jessica needed to clear her head. She needed some time to herself. She needed to get away from that frickin William and his constant flirtations. He was starting to drive her crazy. Jessica felt a little bad for him though. William had asked Jessica for her number and Jessica, not wanting to be rude but not wanting to change her number, had given it to him but changed the last digit. He hadn't said anything yet and Jessica was dreading when he did.

Jessica stumbled and something flashed in front of her eyes. She grabbed the wall, trying to stabilize herself. The images kept coming back. She collapsed to the ground. Her head seemed to spin as she knelt to the ground against the wall. Then she saw it. Ryan standing outside a convenience store in the parking lot. He was looking at something on the ground when he suddenly fell forward. Jesse managed to catch him before he hit the ground. Horatio rushed to his side as Jesse laid Ryan out on the ground.

Then it was gone. Jessica was alone shaking in the hallway. She pulled out her phone sent a message to Jesse.

* * *

><p>Ryan rode in the Hummer with Jesse. Horatio followed behind them in another Hummer. They were going to a crime scene at a convenience store. There had been a shoot out in front of it but no causalities. All they really had to do was snap a few pictures, collected the discarded rounds, and interview witnesses. Horatio had decided it would be a good scene for Ryan, to help him get back into the swing of things. Horatio was coming to help Ryan and then he was headed out to another scene.<p>

They climbed out of the Hummer and Ryan grabbed a camera. His job was to take pictures and record data while Jesse interviewed witnesses. Ryan looked around the parking lot. His head was hurting and something deep in his abdomen hurt. A dizzy spell hit him and he shook it off.

He stood over a casing. He was setting a scale on the ground next to it when his eyes seemed to go out of focus. He thought he saw her face for a moment but he willed it away. Ryan looked at the casing and his head spun again. He slowly stood and looked at the ground. He couldn't seem to get his head to stop spinning.

Jesse was talking to a witness when his phone chirped. He recognized the personal ringtone for Jessica and excused himself for a moment. Jesse pulled out his phone and tapped the screen to open the message.

'Why did Ryan fall?'

'Fall? Ryan didn't fall.'

'But I saw him fall. You caught him before he hit the ground.'

'Jessica, Ryan didn't fall. He's fine.'

Jesse looked over at Ryan. He seemed fine. Ryan was taking pictures of the casings like he was supposed to be. Jesse watched him stand. Ryan placed a hand on his head and seemed to loose his balance a little. Jesse took a step towards Ryan, watching him. Then Ryan was falling. Jesse ran to Ryan's side and caught him.

"Ryan!" Jesse said, laying him on the ground, "Ryan, can you hear me?"

Horatio heard Jesse yelling. He saw Ryan on the ground with Jesse by his side. Horatio rushed to Ryan's side and dropped to his knees. He placed his hand on Ryan's forehead and the young man's eyes fluttered open.

"H…" Ryan said blinking against the sun and nausea.

"Ryan what happened?" Horatio asked.

"I don't know." Ryan said, "My head hurt and my stomach hurt and then I got dizzy and fell."

Horatio listened to him and thought about the symptoms. It hit him like a bag of bricks. It was so obvious but Horatio hadn't given it any thought. He was so considered about Ryan's mental well being he had almost forgot his basis needs. "Ryan, when was the last time you ate?"

Ryan seemed to be having troubles keeping his eyes open and focused. "I don't know. I think the day you took us out for dinner."

Horatio sighed and shook his head. "Ryan that was Sunday, today is Thursday. That's four days. You need to eat something, now!" Horatio lifted Ryan to his feet. He swung Ryan's arm over his shoulder and supported his weight. Jesse grabbed his other arm and threw it over his shoulder. They carried Ryan to the Hummer and lifted him into the passenger seat.

Horatio closed the door and turned to Jesse. "I'm taking him home. I'll bring the Hummer back when I can."  
>"Ok H," Jesse said, "Take care of him. I think I'm going to give Jessica a call though." Jesse pulled out his phone and showed Horatio the text from Jessica. Horatio's eyes grew huge and he looked at Jesse. "Yeah, see if you can figure this out." Horatio said, handing back the phone.<p>

* * *

><p>Jessica gathered her stuff from her office while William was out for lunch. She was freaking out. Jesse had sent her another message after denying that Ryan fell at a crime scene.<p>

'How did you know?' he had said.

'Know what?'

'Ryan collapsed, how did you know that was going to happen?'

Jessica didn't want to be in the building anymore. The room was too small and the building was too quiet. She couldn't take it anymore. She had to get out. She couldn't be there anymore.

She was rushing out the door into the parking lot when she nearly plowed William down.

"Sorry" she said absent mindedly.

"Whoa, Jessica where's the fire?" William said, grabbing her arm. Jessica exhaled angrily and turned to look at him. "What William? What the fuck so you want?"

He looked taken aback by her tone but continued on. He held up a bag and smiled. "I bought you lunch."

Jessica rolled her eyes and looked at him. "Ok here's the deal William, I don't like you. I think you're a great guy but I'm not into you. You're pushy and touchy and I can't stand you. So please, leave me alone. I will gladly be friends with you but I will not be your girlfriend and I swear to god you try to kiss me or call me Jessica one more time I will hurt you."

William slowly stepped back from her. "Ok, you could have said that."  
>"Again- staple, arm, hurt- how did you not get the idea?"<p>

Jessica sped back to her hotel. She threw her stuff onto the couch and paced her room. It was too hot in the room, the walls too close, her clothes too tight. Jessica pulled her clothes off. She stood there naked for a moment and looked around her bedroom. She pulled on her sports bra and running shorts. She clipped the shoulder holster into place and tucked in her phone and hotel key. Jessica pulled a shirt on over her head. She grabbed her iPod and ran out the door.

Jessica ran down the street. She hadn't stretched and her legs screamed at her. She didn't stop though. She kept running. She had to get away from the pain. She had to get away from everything. Her mother, her father, her boyfriend, her friends, her family, and her baby she had lost. She couldn't take it anymore. She wanted it all to end.

* * *

><p>Ryan ate the toast Horatio gave him. He wasn't hungry though. He only ate it so Horatio would leave him alone. He sat at the table, the scrapbook still sitting there. Horatio sat across from him.<p>

"Why did you do it Ryan?"

Ryan didn't answer. He looked away from Horatio, unable to meet his eyes. Horatio stood and walked to his chair. He put his hand under Ryan's chin and brought his face up to look at him.

"Ryan, where you trying to starve yourself?"

Ryan pulled away from his grip. "No" he muttered.

"Then why weren't you eating?"

Ryan felt his body start to shake and the tears flowed out of his eyes. "I don't know. I didn't feel hungry. It's like without her I can't function anymore."

Horatio pulled him against his chest and Ryan sobbed. Horatio helped him from the chair and back into the guestroom. Ryan changed into the sweatpants and t-shirt and crawled into bed.

Ryan looked at Horatio as he sat on the bed looking at him. "What's wrong with me?"

Horatio shook his head. "Your heart was broken. You loved her and she left you."

"This is how you felt?" Ryan asked, "Is this what it felt like when you lost Jessica?"

Horatio looked at him and stroked his hair. "Yes, the exact same way."

Ryan cried into his pillow. Horatio stayed with him until he finally cried himself to sleep. Horatio looked at him. He placed his hand on his forehead and felt how clammy his skin was, yet he was sweating uncontrollably. Ryan cried out in his sleep. Horatio jumped back when his fist swung out in front of him. "Jessssiiccccaaaa!" Ryan cried. Horatio watched as Ryan continued to flail his arms and cry, screaming Jessica's name.

Horatio pulled out his phone. He contemplated what to do. Horatio walked to his office. He booted up his computer. He knew what he had to do, but he didn't know if he could access Jessica's computer without even knowing where it was.

* * *

><p>Jessica sat in the middle of her hotel room, staring at the shirt she found in her suitcase. It was a plain blue t-shirt that was Ryan's size. She carefully lifted it and brought it to her face. She inhaled deeply and smelled the mixture of men's cologne and hand sanitizer. She felt small tears form in her eyes, as she felt the empty space on her left hand. Jessica removed her shirt and pulled Ryan's on. She wrapped her arms around herself and inhaled his wonderful scent.<p>

Jessica's phone buzzed from its place on the floor. She picked it up and tapped the screen. A picture of her and Ryan appeared. It was one of her favorites. They were standing in front of the Miami Dade Police Department. He had his arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind and his head was resting on her shoulder. They were laughing. They had intended to take a nice picture but something had made them laugh just as the camera went off. Their heads were together and Jessica's nose was wrinkled and her eyes seemed to glow. Ryan's head was turned slightly and his eyes were locked on Jessica's as he laughed with an open mouth grin.

Before Jessica could look to see who the picture was from another appeared on the screen. This one was from Christmas and had been taken on the beach. Jessica had taken the picture herself, holding the camera away from them. Ryan was kissing the side of her head as the sun was setting behind them.

Then another appeared. They were standing together at a crime scene. Jessica remembered this picture because Walter had "accidentally" taken it when he "accidentally" hit the shutter button. It was from one of the first weeks Jessica had began working at Miami Dade.

Then another picture appeared. Jessica was sitting on top of the Hummer looking down at a panicked Ryan in the Miami Dade parking lot. She was holding his cell phone in her hand. Jessica remembered she had been looking through his texts between him and Eric, talking about the crazy night Ryan had had with his new girlfriend. Ryan was trying to jump onto the Hummer to retrieve his phone. Jessica remembered he had failed at doing so.

Another picture appeared. This one has Jessica and Ryan attempting to wake board in the Keys during the conference. Ryan had forgotten to put on sunscreen the day before during their beach volleyball game and had a mild burn. He hadn't cared though; he wanted to go with Jessica anyways.

Then suddenly more pictures started appearing faster. They flashed by quickly. Jessica was only able to grasp a few of the images briefly. There was one of them returning from the hospital the day they tumbled down the hill, still coated in murky water and wearing hospital scrubs. One of them working in their lab together on matching fingerprints. Another had Ryan was buried in the sand asleep with a new mermaid body, with Jessica sitting next to him giving a thumbs up. There was one of them from the conference at the first dinner together, Ryan in his tux and Jessica in her black dress. There seemed to be hundreds of pictures of Jessica and Ryan flashing by on Jessica's phone. Soon they all started to blend together.

Then the images stopped flashing and stopped on one picture. It was a picture from the morning after they ran into each other at Mack's Shack. It was in black and white. They were sitting on the floor in Jessica's studio. Jessica's back was to the camera, and her torso shielded most of Ryan's body. Ryan had his legs crossed Indian style behind Jessica's butt where she sat on the floor. His bare arms were wrapped around her shoulders and his head was also on her shoulders. He was kissing her shoulder and his head was turned downwards. Jessica's wasn't wearing her shirt or bra at this point. Every scar and the entire tattoo on her back were visible. There was a message attached to this picture. _'You are my soul and without you I'm incomplete.'_

Jessica felt herself start to cry. She scrolled down to see Horatio's number attached to the message. She scrolled through all the pictures to see Horatio had sent every single one of them. She hit the call button and walked over to the window.

"Caine" Horatio's usual greeting met her.

"What are you trying to do?" Jessica choked out, "Don't you understand how hard this is for me?"

"Don't you understand how hard this is for the man you love?" Horatio asked.

Jessica cried more. "I know it's difficult but it's the only way I can become who I want to be. Staying in Miami was holding me back from my full potential."

"But Jessica he's lost without you." Horatio said, "Ryan hasn't slept hardly at all and he's been staying at my house since you left."  
>Jessica tried not to cry out. "Why?"<p>

Horatio sighed, "Because Jessie Bug we're afraid that if he's left alone he'll become suicidal again. The day you left he just sat around the lab not talking to anyone. He was almost catatonic. I finally forced him to come home with me. When he had been in the bathroom for thirty minutes I barged in using my master key and found him holding a razor blade. He hadn't done anything. He was just standing there looking at it with his sleeves rolled up. I knew what he was thinking, but he refused to talk to me."  
>Jessica sat there stunned. Could she have really driven Ryan to end his life?<p>

"The last few days he's been doing better. He's sleeping a little and he started eating again today." Horatio explained to her.

"He wasn't eating?" Jessica almost whispered.

"No, he went four days without eating. When he collapsed at a crime scene is when I drove him home and forced him to eat and go back to sleep. I watched him sleep for awhile." Horatio paused, Jessica could hear the tears in his voice, "He cried out your name in his sleep. He yelled your name and begged you to come back. He had tears running down his face and he kept grabbing and punching the bed in his sleep." Horatio tried to recompose himself, "Ryan needs you Jessie. I need you. We all need you. Please, come back to us."

Jessica was practically sobbing at this point. "I can't Daddy, this is my new life. I have to become someone else, the person I was meant to be. I'm sorry Daddy, but I'm staying here." Jessica hung up the phone without another word.

She leaned her head against the window and cried. She had once again ruined everyone's life. She knew she should have taken the internship in Jacksonville. None of this would have happened if she had only decided not to work with her father.

Jessica's phone buzzed again. She tapped the screen and a picture appeared. It was a picture of Ryan sleeping in the guest bedroom at Horatio's house. He was pale with dark circles under his eyes. His face was sunken in and he looked like he had lost some weight. He was sweaty and Jessica was sure he hadn't showered in days. Under the picture was the message _'Please Bug, we need you.'_

Jessica's heart broke; she couldn't stand the sight of Ryan in such pain. She held the phone against her chest and continued to cry.

Jessica knew what she had to do. She began gathering her things up around the hotel room and shoving them back into her suitcases. She pulled on a black and white striped zip up hoodie over Ryan's shirt to fight against the late night Colorado chill. She ran downstairs and dropped her key at the front desk.

"I'm checking out early." she said to then man at the counter.

"Alright Dr. Caine." the man said, "I hope you enjoyed your stay."

Jessica nodded at him and walked out the door.

She practically ran to her Audi Q7 and threw her suitcases in the backseat. She climbed in behind the wheel and the engine roared to life. Jessica drove out of the parking lot, while also trying to activate the GPS on her phone. It told her it would take her close to two days to make it back to Miami if she didn't stop, and that was just what Jessica was planning on doing.

**So I realized I never specified that the black thing running down Jessica's mother's arms in the picture in the scrapbook is a phoenix tattoo. It spreads across her shoulder blades and scrolls down her upper arms.**


	7. Why We're Here

Friday  
>Why we're here<p>

Ryan woke up drenched in sweat. He felt like his skin was on fire. He threw the blankets off of him. He gasped for air. He felt like the room was too small. Ryan tried to stand but he collapsed to the ground. He attempted to stand back up but his body gave out again. He tried to crawl out of the room. He seemed to run out of energy just outside the door in the hall. Ryan laid on the floor and panted. His head was pounding and his throat burned.

Horatio heard something crash down the hall. He jumped from his bed and ran down the hall. He found Ryan lying on the carpeting gasping for air. His body was drenched in sweat.

"Ryan!" Horatio exclaimed, dropping to his side, "Ryan what's wrong?"

"H, I don't know." Horatio touched his face. Ryan's skin was burning. "Come on Ryan" Horatio said, pulling the younger man up. He dragged Ryan into his master bathroom and started filling the tub with warm water. He set Ryan on the floor leaning against the wall. He tugged Ryan's shirt over his head but Ryan tried to fight him off when Horatio grabbed the waistline of his sweatpants. "Don't!" Ryan said as he tried to push Horatio away. "Get over it Ryan, I have one of those too."

Horatio helped Ryan into the bath. Ryan shuddered and groaned as the water engulfed his body.

"Hhhh!" he groaned. "It's ok Ryan," Horatio said to him, "You're going to be ok. Just relax, I'll be right back." Horatio looked through the drawers under his counter until he found a bottle of aspirin. He filled a glass with water and walked back to the tub. "Take these" Horatio instructed Ryan. Ryan's hand shook as he held the cup. He had difficulty swallowing the pills but he managed.

Horatio felt Ryan's forehead. His skin was already cooler to the touch. "How are you feeling?"

Ryan's eyes fluttered open. He looked at Horatio with pain in his eyes. "Better" he whispered, "God I felt like I was on fire. What caused this?"

"Stress probably and lack of food." Horatio answered, "Your bodies gone through a lot Ryan and it may have started to shut down."

Ryan sighed and closed his eyes. Horatio watched the tears form under his eyelids. "Why does she do this to me?"

"Everything's going to be ok, Ryan," Horatio said soothingly. "You just need to get back on your feet and take care of yourself."

"I'm so weak" Ryan muttered.

"No Ryan, you're not weak, you're hurt, maybe not physically but emotionally." Horatio smiled at him and Ryan managed to return it with a weak one of his own. "Come on, let's get you out of this. You probably need more sleep."

"What time is it?" Ryan asked, stepping out of the tub.

Horatio handed him a towel. "It's two in the morning."

Ryan groaned. "I'm sorry H, I didn't mean to wake you up."  
>"It's alright Ryan," Horatio said, "You needed someone. I'd rather you wake me up in the middle of the night then have to call Tom in the morning."<p>

Ryan pulled his sweatpants back on, followed closely by his shirt. "Come on," Horatio said, "Let's get some food in you before you go back to sleep."  
>Ryan grabbed his arm and Horatio stopped and looked at him. Ryan's eyes watered and he wrapped his arms around Horatio. "Thank you," he said quietly, "Thank you Horatio. You're the only thing that's kept me alive this week."<p>

Horatio sighed and wrapped his arms around the younger man. "It's alright Ryan, I knew you needed me."

* * *

><p>Jessica pulled into the gas station. She filled her tank up and then walked into the convenience store. She bought the largest cup of coffee she could find and grabbed a few energy drinks.<p>

As Jessica climbed back into her car she looked at her phone. It was almost ten o'clock in the morning. She had been driving for a little over twelve hours and had been awake twenty-seven hours. Jessica sat in her car and gulped down some of the coffee. It burned her throat and mouth but she didn't care anymore.

Jessica pulled out her phone and dialed Dr. Cooper's office number.

"Dr. Cooper" he greeted her with.

"Hello Dr. Cooper this is Dr. Jessica Caine."  
>"Dr. Caine, where are you? Are you alright? I was worried something had happened when you didn't show up this morning."<p>

"I'm fine, but I have a family emergency and I need to go home to Miami."  
>"Is everything alright?"<p>

"Everything will be once I get back, but I'm afraid I won't be returning to Denver University."  
>"Are you sure? We can work something out."<br>"No Dr. Cooper, I'm sorry but my father needs me back in Miami more than I need this job. I'm really sorry it had to end this way. If you're ever in need of a guest professor though I'm more than willing to you help you in any way possible."

"Well Dr. Caine I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you though for the offer. I'll definitely be in contact with you in the future, if you don't mind."

"Absolutely, especially after the shady way I'm leaving you. Thank you so much Dr. Cooper for this opportunity, I really did appreciate it."

"You're very welcome Dr. Caine and thank you for this chance to meet the world's youngest holder of three Doctrines. You were rather enjoyable. Take care and tell Dr. Bires that I bid him good day."

Jessica hung up her phone and drank more coffee. She sighed and watched people walk about the gas station.

Jessica felt the caffeine start to pump through her veins and knew it was time to go. She started her car and shifted into drive. She pulled back onto the highway and continued to speed down the asphalt.

* * *

><p>Ryan woke up a few hours later. His head no longer hurt and the fire was gone from his body. He climbed out of bed. He stretched and felt his back crack. He walked down the hall to the bathroom. He found the new clothes from Horatio already waiting for him and he smiled to himself. He took a much needed hot shower.<p>

He wandered down to the kitchen to find the coffee maker already brewing. Ryan looked through the cupboards and fridge and found everything he needed. By the time Horatio came down to the kitchen Ryan was serving chocolate chip pancakes onto a couple of plates. Horatio smiled and placed his hand on Ryan's shoulder.

"I take it you're feeling better." He said to Ryan.

Ryan smiled at his boss. "Yeah, I think last night was a wake up call I needed." Ryan said, carrying the plates to the table.

"How so?" Horatio inquired, pouring them coffee.

"I realized I've been letting myself stay stuck in the past." Ryan explained, "She's moved on, I need to now, too. If I keep living in my memories then I'm going to end up dead, and that's not what I want. I have to live my life for myself."

Horatio smiled and felt tears form in his eyes. Ryan didn't miss it. "What's wrong H?"

"I've heard someone say something like that before."

Ryan looked at him confused. "Who?"

"Jessie Bug," Horatio quietly said.

* * *

><p>Jessica was exhausted. She hadn't slept since Wednesday night and it was now Friday afternoon. Her hands shook and her stomach growled. She saw the sign for a local diner that was off the next exit. Jessica thought it over and pulled off the exit ramp. She pulled into the parking lot and climbed from her car.<p>

Jessica walked through the door and stopped at the front counter with the "Please wait to be seated" sign. She waited for a few minutes before someone greeted. A woman with dark hair streaked with gray. Her name tag said Theresa. "Hey honey, is it just you today?" Jessica nodded her head. "Yes and I'm in a bit of a hurry if you don't mind."

The woman smiled. "You got somewhere you need to be?" she asked, leading Jessica to a small booth by the windows.

Jessica nodded her head quickly as she sat down. "Yes, I'm headed home."

The waitress smiled at her and handed her a menu. "Well don't let me keep you waiting."

"I'll have that." Jessica said, pointing to a picture of a hamburger with fries. "With a cup of coffee, too."

The waitress smiled and laughed. "You don't waste any time, do you honey?" She took the menu from Jessica but stopped when her hand grazed Jessica's. "Honey, are you missing something?"

Jessica curled her hand up into a fist, feebly trying to hide the tan line. She sighed and knew there was no sense in hiding it anymore. "I am, and it's back home with the man I love."

The waitress smiled and patted her shoulder. "I'll be back as soon as I can. You need to get home to that man."

Jessica smiled the kind waitress. "Thank you Theresa."

Jessica sat in the booth and felt restless. She pulled out her cell phone. The battery was low. Jessica looked around and discovered there was an outlet just below her table. She plugged in her charger and watched her phone blink. Jessica looked through the texts that Jesse had been sending her, asking about her and Ryan.

Theresa returned with a large chocolate shake and a cup of coffee. She sat in the booth across from Jessica. "I didn't order…" Jessica started to say but Theresa cut her off. "You need it, I can tell, and don't worry this one's on the house." She said with a wink. Jessica smiled and took a long drink of the shake. It tasted delicious and she smiled at Theresa. "Thank you." She said, wiping her face with a napkin, "You have children, don't you?"

Theresa smiled and nodded her head. "And I've been where you've been. Let me guess- you wanted something more and he didn't so you took off. Happened to me back in 1973. My beau didn't want to get married so when I asked him and he said no I left. I was gone for three years before I realized how big of a mistake I had made. I ran back to him and there he was, waiting for me with the ring." Theresa reached across the table and took Jessica's left hand. She looked at the tan line on her finger and sighed. "I'm guessing something scared you. He did something that frightened you and you needed to get away."

"It wasn't something he did." Jessica said, watching Theresa stroke her fingers over Jessica's. "It was something that happened to me. Something bad happened back when I was a kid, and then it happened again just a few weeks ago."

"You were raped, weren't you?" Theresa gently asked.

"Yeah, how did you guess?"

"Because we always say it the same way. Something bad happened; hardly anyone ever comes right out and says they were raped. I know I didn't."  
>"You were a victim too."<p>

"Yes, but my Ryan got me through it. When I came home after all those years he proposed right there on the steps of the police department where he worked. He said he bought the ring the day after I left and waited for me. He never stopped believing I would come home to him."  
>Jessica felt her eyes water. "His name was Ryan?"<p>

Theresa smiled and her eyes seemed to shine. "Yes, the best man I ever met. He pulled me over because I was speeding but never gave me the ticket. Instead he wrote his number on the ticket and said he would let me off with a warning if I agreed to join him that night for dinner."

Jessica chuckled and drank more of her shake. "Sounds like a movie."  
>"I guess it kind of was." Theresa patted the back of Jessica's hand. "I'm going to go see where your burger is at honey. We need to get you back to that man of yours."<p>

Jessica sat there and drank her milkshake and looked at her phone. She typed a message to Jesse.

'I think I just met my future self…well except the part where she's working in a diner.'

Her phone buzzed a few seconds later. 'Now did you really? What made you think it was you?'

'She gave me hope and reminded me why we're here.'

'That sounds just like you. Now, when are you coming home?'

Jessica smiled to herself. She set her phone back on the table as Theresa walked over with her food.

* * *

><p>Ryan walked through the door of Horatio's house. He could hear a guitar strumming somewhere inside. He locked the door behind him and walked into the living room.<p>

"H?" he said.

"Back here Mr. Wolfe." he heard Horatio's voice sound from somewhere in the back of the house. Ryan followed the music to the back porch. Horatio was sitting in one of the chairs that framed either side of the doorway with a guitar on his lap. It had a caramel colored body with a mahogany neck. Spiraling down the neck was a brass Celtic knot under the strings. Engraved in the body was a small koi fish. Ryan smiled and sat in the other chair.

"I didn't know you played, H." Ryan said.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me Mr. Wolfe." Horatio said, "Just like there's a lot of things I don't know about you. For example, how did you know where my spare key was?"

Ryan smiled. "Kyle told me about the false brick three above the doorbell. He said you always keep a spare in there in case anyone needs to get in."

Horatio chuckled. "That's the last time I tell that boy anything."

"So is this the famous Celesta that I've heard so much about?" he asked.

Horatio smiled and continued to lightly strum the guitar. "Indeed it is Mr. Wolfe, Sebastian's sister."

"You're the one that Jessica willed her guitars to."  
>Horatio sighed and ran his hand down the guitar's neck. "Yes, she wanted me to have them. She taught me how to play on Celesta here. When she knew she was going to die she wrote out her will. Everything went to Brian and Elizabeth, except for these guitars. Brian was furious when he found out. Jessabelle never told anyone she changed her will. There was a note inside Celesta's case. It was from Jessabelle. She said she knew I would take of Celesta and Sebastian better than Brian. She knew he would pawn them off. A guitar like this would sell into the thousands. She didn't want to loose them."<p>

"So was it you that taught Jessie how to play?"

Horatio nodded his head and smiled. "She caught me playing one day when Brian dropped her off on my doorstep without telling me and Izzy walked in to find me playing. She asked me to teach her. So I did."  
>Ryan chuckled and pulled a burger out of one of the bags he brought with him and held it out for Horatio. Horatio set his guitar back in the case and graciously accepted the sandwich. He looked it over and smiled. "I didn't know Mack's Shack had take out."<br>"They don't." Ryan said, pulling a burger out for himself. "But I've known the owner for years. I called ahead and he had it ready for me, along with these." Ryan pulled out a cold Heineken and handed it to Horatio.

"Hmm, you have good taste Mr. Wolfe." Horatio said, accepting the drink.

"Paulie knows me well." Ryan smiled.

They ate in silence and watched the sun set. When they were done Horatio picked his guitar back up and continued strumming tunelessly. "I didn't have a clue how to even hold a guitar until I met Jessabelle." He said quietly, "She had Sebastian out and was playing some Irish tune. She was singing in Gaelic. It was incredible. She had such a beautiful voice." Horatio shut his eyes and leaned his head back. "That damn accent."

Ryan chuckled and listened to Horatio play. He drank his beer and looked out at the pool just off of Horatio's porch. "H, why did you buy a house that has a pool and a beach?"

Horatio opened his eyes and looked at him. "It was modest."

Ryan chuckled. "H, in what way is a four bedroom, ocean side beach house modest?"

"Nope, three bedrooms, the office was designed to be an office." Horatio smiled.

Ryan shook his head. "Horatio Caine, you could justify anything."

"Well if you want to know the truth I bought this house with Jessie Bug in mind."  
>Ryan sighed and looked at him. "How so?"<p>

'It's difficult for her to find a pool she can swim in for an extended period of time."  
>"Because of her bleach allergy?"<p>

"Yes, it's hard to find pools that use bleach free chlorine. Jessie can only swim for about half an hour before she starts breaking out in hives."

"I learned the hard way Jess was allergic to bleach." Ryan reminisced, "I had cleaned the counter in my apartment with bleach. It was a few hours before she came over, couldn't even smell it anymore. She leaned against the counter and almost immediately she started itchy. I felt so bad. She said it was ok though, she hadn't told me yet so it wasn't my fault."

"How long had you been dating at that point?"

Ryan thought about it. "About a month, I think. I got rid of all my bleach products after that. I missed one though, toothpaste. I didn't realize I bought whiting toothpaste that had bleach as an ingredient. That wasn't a good day."

"Did she brush her teeth with it?"

"Nope, I did…then I gave her head."

Horatio made a hissing sound at the thought of the pain Jessica had experienced. "That must have been unpleasant."

"Yeah she got something from the doctor to clear it up though. Took about a week."

Horatio chuckled. "I bet the two of you must have been dying for each other that whole week."

Ryan shook his head. "No, that was that same week that I cleaned the counter and got rid of all the bleach. We weren't having sex at that point."  
>"But I thought the two of you slept together then decided to be in a relationship."<br>"We did, but then we didn't do the deed for about two months after that."

"Hmm, what did you do during that two months?"

"Sexually? Kissing, fondling, oral, I fingered her a lot and she jerked me off. You know the 'not sex' things teenagers do. She liked getting head though. Damn, that girl would let me go down on her for hours if I didn't have this stupid habit of breathing. She frickin loved oral sex."  
>Horatio chuckled and looked at Ryan as he drank his beer. "Sounds just like her mother. I swear Jessabelle wouldn't even let me up for air sometimes. She told me she never liked the way Brian did it though, she preferred my techniques. When she was in the hospital and we were alone she would just pull the blanket back and spread her legs."<br>Ryan couldn't help but laugh. "God, I can't believe this. Here I am, sitting with my boss, drinking beer and talking about oral sex, more specifically the way his daughter and her mother liked it." Ryan shook his head and looked at Horatio. "What has Jessica done to me?"

"The same thing her mother did to me- stole your heart and never gave it back."

Ryan stared out at the sunset, swirling his beer. "Maybe I need to try dating men." Ryan aimlessly said. "Why's that?" Horatio asked.

"Well it seems every time I try to fall in love with a woman it goes all wrong and I end up crying uncontrollably for three months straight."

"You're not crying now."

Ryan sighed, "Yeah, I don't know why."  
>"Maybe it's because you've accepted the fact that you're always going to love her." Horatio said.<p>

Ryan looked at Horatio and smiled. "Yeah, maybe."

* * *

><p>Jessica groaned as she saw the flashing blue and red lights of the Kansas City Police cursor behind her. She pulled off to the side of the road and turned off her car. The officer approached her car and Jessica rolled down her window.<p>

"Good evening ma'am," he said, "License and registration?"  
>Jessica pulled her license from her wallet and handed it to the cop. She reached over and retrieved her registration from her glove compartment. Her back up weapon fell out and onto the floor of the car. Jessica closed her eyes for a moment as she froze and hoped the officer hadn't seen it.<p>

"Miss," he said, "Was that a gun?"

Jessica sighed and sat up. "Yes, but I have a permit." She pulled out her Miami Dade credentials and handed them to the officer along with her registration.

The officer looked over both. "You work for Miami Dade?"

Jessica nodded her head. "Yes, I do."

"Why are you in Kansas?"

"I was away on business and now I'm headed back home."  
>"Is there a reason you're driving so fast?" he asked.<p>

Jessica didn't give the question any thought and just started rambling. "My boyfriend went into labor this morning and is about to give birth to our first son. I needed to get home so I can be with him. My father called me this morning and told me and I've been trying to get home so I can be there when our son is born."

The officer's eyes grew huge. "Oh excuse me ma'am." He handed Jessica back all her paperwork. "Please continue on. That's an awful long drive you have ahead of you."

"Yes, and I already don't think I'm going to make it in time." Jessica sighed, "I'm going to miss the birth of my son." Jessica let her eyes water a little.

"Please ma'am, go ahead. I'll send out a broadcast not to stop you so you can try and make it."

Jessica smiled at him. "Thank you sir, you've been so kind."  
>"You're very welcome ma'am, but you should go. I know I missed the birth of my daughter and it was devastating."<p>

Jessica smiled at the officer one last time as she pulled back onto the road slowly.

Jessica stayed at steady speed for about two hours, just in case the officer finally figured out her story and now if she was caught speeding she would get pulled over and receive a citation for speeding and lying to a cop.

Jessica started laughing uncontrollably at the thought of her obscene story. It didn't make any sense at all but the officer had only heard that someone was having a baby and Jessica needed to be there. She pulled off to the side of the road and laughed until tears were running down the sides of her face and her abdomen hurt. Once she recomposed herself, Jessica pulled back onto the road and continued her drive home.

Jessica had been driving about twenty hours now. She hadn't slept in almost thirty-six hours and knew she wasn't going to last much longer. Jessica tried to think how long someone had to go without sleeping before they started going crazy. She was pretty sure it was seventy-two hours. At the rate she was going she should be back with having only gone fifty-two or so hours, so she was sure she was in the clear.

Jessica gulped down an energy drink and pressed down on the accelerator. She could see a cop sitting in the median just down the stretch of highway. She was only going twelve over the speed limit but decided to test her limits. Jessica ramped up the engine. She flew past him at almost one hundred miles per hour. The cop didn't move an inch from where he was parked. Jessica laughed and slowed her car down a little.

They had actually believed her story! Jessica couldn't believe it! She was in the clear, but for how long she didn't know.


	8. Maybe Some Day

Saturday  
>Maybe some day<p>

Ryan woke up to his phone ringing. He rolled over and answered it without even opening his eyes. "Wolfe" he mumbled against his pillow.

"Ryan, its Horatio."

"Hey H, what's up?"

"Ryan, Walter called in sick and we need another person. Would you be willing to come in and work? I'll give you Monday off in exchange."

"Yeah, no problem, I'll be there in a few minutes."  
>"Take your time, Mr. Wolfe, we'll wait for you."<p>

Ryan hung up his phone and rolled over in his bed. "I don't want to get out of bed though." He muttered to his self. Ryan laid there for a moment. He groaned as he climbed from the bed.

Ryan wandered over to his dresser and started rummaging through the drawers. His hand brushed against something soft and hard. Ryan pulled out the Tiffany ring box. He looked at it and rolled it over in his hand. He opened it and looked at the ring inside. It shined in the morning light that poured through the windows.

Ryan sighed and shut the box. He tucked it back in amongst his socks and boxers.

"Maybe some day" he said to himself.

* * *

><p>Jessica sped down the highway. She lifted her phone and looked at the screen. She watched as the time went from 4:59am to 6:00am. Jessica chuckled to herself. "Check it out Mom, I just traveled through time."<p>

* * *

><p>Ryan rode with Jesse to the scene. They were investigating a breaking and entering in a private neighborhood. Someone had broken in a window and assaulted the resident. She was in the hospital where Calleigh was documenting her injuries.<p>

Ryan looked out the window and smiled. "My uncle used to live in this neighborhood."  
>"When you were growing up?" Jesse asked.<p>

"No, when I was in college. Uncle Ron and Rachael lived in one of these houses while I was attending Florida State. I stayed there during breaks and summer. Eh, I guess I did kind of live here."  
>"Why did Uncle Ron move?"<p>

Ryan chuckled. "He didn't, crazy old man got himself kicked out."  
>Jesse laughed. "What did he do?"<p>

"Set fireworks off at three in the morning. A few of them hit someone's garden shed. Blew the place straight up into the air. He was thrown out of the neighborhood and his picture was hung up in every fireworks shop in Florida with a notice not to sell to. He hasn't had a Roman candle since."  
>Jesse laughed so hard he had tears form in his eyes. "Geez Ryan, living with him must have been hell on your OCD."<br>"Eh, it wasn't too bad. It was interesting though, never a boring moment."  
>"I bet he and Jessica got along great."<br>"Like two peas in a pod. Anytime they were together I think their goal was to make me as miserable as possible. They would move stuff around on me, hide my hand sanitizer, and she would always sit on the damn counter. She knew it drove me crazy when she did."

Jesse laughed. "You two made the weirdest couple. I could see you guys as an old married couple; Jessica still screwing around with your rituals and the whole number thing."

Ryan got quiet. He looked out the window. Jesse could sense his tension and he wished he could take back what he just said. "I'm sorry Ryan I wasn't thinking-"

"It's alright Jesse." Ryan said, cutting him off. "It's cool, I understand."

Jesse gripped the wheel tighter and looked straight ahead. "I'm really sorry Ryan."  
>"Jesse, I said it was fine. I know you weren't trying to taunt me. Everyone makes mistakes." He gave Jesse a reassuring smile.<p>

Ryan looked back out the window. Jesse didn't know what to say, he felt awkward just sitting there. "Horatio told me you stayed at your place last night."  
>Ryan nodded his head. "Yeah, and he probably told you about the other night when I woke up frickin dying."<br>"Yeah, he did." Jesse responded, "He wanted me to keep an eye out for you yesterday." Jesse tried to give him a reassuring smile. "I'm glad to see you're feeling better."  
>"Thanks Jesse, you've been a great friend this week. You've really helped me get through this."<p>

They sat there as the Hummer slowly drove through the neighborhood. "Are you doing anything tonight?" Jesse asked him, trying to keep Ryan distracted.

Ryan sighed. "Yeah, I'm going over to Jessica's place to get the rest of my stuff."

Jesse's stomach turned. "I'm sorry Ryan, I'm just striking out here."

"It's alright; it doesn't hurt to talk about it anymore." Ryan paused for a moment. "I'm pawning her ring later tonight."

"Are you really?" Jesse asked surprised.

"Yeah, I am." Ryan responded, "It's time I moved on. The longer I keep it the more it's going to hurt me. After the first one I kept the ring for almost two years. It hurt every time I saw it. The day I sold it I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I can't keep clinging to the past. If I do then I'll never have a future."

Jesse smiled and placed a hand on Ryan's shoulder. He squeezed it gently. "That's the Ryan I know."

* * *

><p>Jessica had to pee. She had to pee now! With all the caffeine pumping through her system it felt like she had to stop every hour to piss. She eventually got tired of stopping so she started holding it until her bladder hurt and she thought she would piss her pants.<p>

There wouldn't be another rest stop for sixty miles according to the sign she had just passed. She could pull off at a gas station but the next sign said there wouldn't be one for another seven miles. Jessica couldn't wait.

She pulled off to the side of the highway. She turned her car off, turned on the hazards, and climbed out through the passenger door, locking it on her way out. She ran towards the woods and jumped the fence intended to keep animals off the highway. Jessica ran as fast as she could. She stopped about three hundred feet from the road. She dropped her pants and squatted to the ground. The sudden relief she felt was incredible. Jessica couldn't think of a time she had enjoyed pissing so much.

When she was finally done she kicked dirt over the spot, as she zipped her jeans. Jessica ran back to her car and climbed back in through the passenger side. She cracked open another energy drink and downed half of it. She knew it would her piss again within the next hour and Jessica decided she wasn't going to try and hold it anymore. Though it delayed her return to Miami she didn't think she would get as lucky next time.

* * *

><p>The victim had been released from the hospital and Calleigh had brought her to the lab. Ryan and Jesse were suppose to interview her and try to figure out who could have broken into her house.<p>

Ryan looked at the young woman sitting in the interview room alone. She looked frightened and her eyes seemed to dart around the room. Ryan had seen that same look before and his heart went out to the young woman.

"Jessica Franklin," Calleigh said as she walked up to him. "She's twenty-four years old and just graduated from Miami University with her Masters in English. It seems our perp broken in through a window on the back of the house and raped her in her own bed."

"Poor girl" Ryan said.

"Jesse asked if I conduct the interview with you instead of him." Calleigh said, "This is your case but he thinks having two men in the room might make her uncomfortable. What do you think?"

"I think that's a great idea." Ryan replied, "You also saw her at the hospital, which might help put her at ease."

"Alright, let's do this." Calleigh said, holding the door open for Ryan.

They walked into the room. The young woman shifted in her seat and her eyes grew wide at the sight of Ryan. He slowly approached the table and sat down in the chair across from her. He didn't speak right away, instead he looked through her file. Ryan finally looked at her and the young woman met his eyes for a moment before they darted away.

"Hi Jessica," Ryan said, "My name's Ryan Wolfe. I'm an investigator and I wanted to ask you some questions about what happened, is that alright with you?"

The woman sat there silently but nodded her head.

"Ok," Ryan said, trying to think of something to put her at ease. "You know you don't have to answer any questions you want to, but all the information you can give me will help, ok?"

She nodded her head again, blinking rapidly, obviously trying to hold back tears.

Ryan smiled at her. "You just finished your Masters?" She nodded. Ryan smiled at her. "That's great, must be a weight off your shoulders." Another nod. "I know when I finished mine I was so relieved. All that work, man that was some major stress. But what I never understood was when someone earns their Doctrine they're called Doctor. When I earned my Masters no one ever called me 'Master Wolfe.'"

The young woman chuckled and a smile graced her face. "I never thought about it that way." She quietly said. "Maybe that's what I should do."  
>"If you'd like I can write Master Franklin in my report." Ryan continued to joke with a smile.<p>

She smiled at him. "No, you can just call me Jessica."

"Alright Jessica" Ryan smiled, "That's a beautiful name."

"Thank you, it was my mother's name."  
>"Just like my Jessica." Ryan was caught off guard by his own words.<p>

"Your daughter?"

"No, my, uh, my girlfriend." Ryan didn't think mentioning Jessica was no longer his girlfriend was a wise idea. "She actually just graduated from Miami University, too."  
>Jessica's eyes grew wide. "You mean that girl that just earned her third Doctrine? You're dating her!"<p>

Ryan smiled weakly. "Yeah, that's my girl." Ryan felt Calleigh's hand rest on his shoulder. She squeezed it reassuringly, letting him know she understood his white lie.

* * *

><p>Her head was pounding. The lights seemed too bright and every sound too loud. But she didn't have time to think about it. She needed to get home. She needed to be with him.<p>

Jessica pushed on the gas to try and make the car go faster. The needle was on empty and she didn't have her emergency gas canister in the car. Why had she left it in Miami? Oh right, because gas canisters were not allowed on airplanes. Duh, how could she be so dumb?

Then she saw the sign for a gas station. She veered off the highway at a speed that was just a little too fast, almost causing her car to flip. She slowed down and continued her drive at a more reasonable speed. She pulled into the gas station and jammed the pump into her tank. Jessica walked into the convenience store. She bought another cup of coffee and a few energy drinks. She paid for them along with her gas at the counter. The teenage attendant eyeing her over like she was a piece of meat.

"Don't bother, I have a boyfriend." Jessica sneered at him.

She climbed back into her car and sped out of the gas station. She was so close to being home. Just a few more hours and she would be with Ryan again.

* * *

><p>Ryan looked at the man Frank's patrol had brought in. James Calvin, he lived a few blocks away from the victim in another neighborhood. He had been spotted riding his bike through the neighborhood the night before, just before the break in at Jessica Franklin's house. He was sleevy looking and Ryan didn't like him already. He tried not to let his emotions get the best of him though. He knew his opinion was based on the fact that his name was James.<p>

They had found Calvin's hair in the bedroom and the footprints outside the house were the same size and style as Calvin's. Samples from Jessica's SAE kit still had yet to be tested, Ryan was sure it was Calvin who had raped her.

"Why did you do it?" Ryan bluntly asked him.

"Do what?" Calvin asked, playing dumb.

"You raped Jessica Franklin."  
>"I didn't do anything."<br>"You broke into her house and you raped her."

"No I didn't."  
>"Yes you did, we have evidence you were there, that you broke the window and climbed through it, that you raped Jessica Franklin."<p>

Calvin leaned forward and his eyes narrowed. "I want a lawyer."  
>Ryan let out an exasperated breathe and shook his head. "Fine" he said, knowing there was nothing else he could do at that point until Calvin's lawyer showed up.<p>

Ryan walked out of the interview room and met Jesse in the hall. "He lawyered up." Ryan told him, "So let's see what else we can find before his lawyer gets here."  
>"Alright," Jesse said, "Have you had lunch yet?"<p>

Ryan shook his head. "No I was getting ready to when Frank brought in this guy."  
>"Well why don't you get something to eat." Jesse suggested.<p>

"Yeah, I think that sound like a good idea." Ryan said, "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Ryan drove to the deli down the street and bought himself a sandwich and a drink. He ate in the break room alone in silence, enjoying the alone time. Ryan felt suddenly tired. He folded his arms on the table and laid his head down, his forehead resting on his arms. He took slow, deep breathes and before he knew it he felt sleep overcoming him. Ryan didn't fight it. He just let himself drift into a deep sleep.

He was standing in the road. He didn't recognize anything around him. It was the middle of the day though, he could tell that much. There was a car driving towards him. Ryan tried to run but he couldn't move. The car sped at him. Ryan held his arms in front of his face and cowered in fear. The car passed right through him. Ryan stood there and looked at the place where the car had been. How was he not dead?

Then another distraction drew his attention away from the car. His arms were bleeding, huge cuts slicing down the length of his arms. Ryan tried to stop the bleeding but it seemed the more he tried the more he bled. Another car drove through him but Ryan paid it no attention. He had to get the bleeding to stop. He was going to die from the amount of blood he was loosing.

Another car drove towards him. Ryan panicked when he felt himself grow weak. Ryan heard the car stop and looked up to see a blue SUV stopped in front of him, just ten feet away. Ryan looked back at his arms and the blood was suddenly running backwards, back into his arms. Ryan watched as the cuts began to diminish. He looked back at the SUV as the driver climbed out. She looked at him and just stared.

Ryan held up his arms and watched as the blood disappeared and the cuts sealed their selves back up. He smiled and looked at her. His heart swelled with delight at the site of her. She didn't look well, she seemed exhausted. He wanted to hold her but he still couldn't move. He looked at her and pleaded with his eyes.

"_Please Jessica,"_ he said, _"Come home. I need you. You are my soul."_

Tears began to run down her cheeks as she looked at him. _"Without you I'm incomplete" _Jessica whispered.

Then she began to fade away. Ryan felt someone shake his shoulder and his eyes snapped open.

He was back in the break room, his face flat against the table now and his arms stretched out in front of him, palms up. He slowly sat up and looked at his arms. He quickly pulled the sleeves of his suit jacket and shirt up. There was nothing there. He knew there wouldn't be anything, but the dream had been so real and had freaked him out.

"Ryan, are you alright?" he heard someone asked. He turned to see Horatio standing over him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ryan said, shoving his sleeves back down. "I just fell asleep after eating my lunch, that's all."

Horatio chuckled. "Sorry about calling you in this morning."  
>"Oh it's fine," Ryan said, brushing it off. "You needed me. I'm just a little tired, that's all."<p>

"It's been a long week, hasn't it?"

Ryan nodded his head. "Yeah, the longest of my life."

Horatio smiled reassuringly and squeezed Ryan's shoulder. "Let's get back to work, I hear you have a man to convict."  
>Ryan smiled at his boss. "Yeah, I do, for Jessica." Horatio looked at him confused. "Jessica Franklin, the victim."<p>

* * *

><p>Jessica had been driving for forty-two hours. She was in Florida and only had a few more hours worth of driving left. She was determined to make it back to the crime lab before everyone left for the day. She had to see him there. She had to see him again. She would get there about five o'clock in the afternoon at this rate. Jessica just had to see Ryan again.<p>

Then suddenly there was a man standing in the middle of her lane. Jessica screamed and slammed on her brakes. She pulled her car off to the side of the highway and pulled her cell phone out. She dialed 911 as she ran back to find the man, but there was no one.

"911 what is your emergency?" the female operator answered. Jessica stood there dazed and confused. There has been a man in the road. She hit him. She heard him hit her car, hadn't she?

"Hello? Is anyone there?" the operator asked.

"I'm sorry, I think I just pocket dialed you." Jessica said.

"That's alright ma'am, it happens all the time. You're not hurt are you?"

"No, no I'm not. I'm terribly sorry."

"Like I said that's alright ma'am. I'm just glad to hear there isn't an emergency. Have a good day and don't forget to lock your keys on your cell phone." The line clicked and Jessica heard a dial tone. She lowered her phone and hung up.

Jessica ran a little farther down the highway. There was nothing. There was no evidence that someone had been plowed down by her car. She ran back to her car and around to the front. There was nothing wrong with her car. She looked under it and found nothing again. Jessica stood there confused and looked down the stretch of highway.

There! She could see the man again! She jumped into her car and sped to him. She stopped just in front of him and looked at him. It was Jesse Cardoza. He smiled at her and waved. Jessica jumped from the car and ran to him. Then Jesse was gone.

Jessica stood there and stared at the spot Jesse had just occupied. She looked down the highway and there was another person. Jessica hopped in her car and took off towards them.

As she got closer she could see this person was a woman. It was Calleigh. She was jumping and waving at Jessica. Calleigh smiled her huge shining grin. When Jessica started to slow down Calleigh shook her head and gestured for Jessica to keep going. Jessica hit the accelerator and sped down the asphalt. She looked in her rear view mirror to see Calleigh had disappeared.

Then there was someone else on the side of the road. It was Eric. He waved to her and Jessica sped past him. She saw Eric in her mirror give her a thumbs up before he disappeared.

Then Walter was standing in the road. He stepped to the side and held his arm out. He winked at Jessica as she drove past.

Tom was standing in the middle of the road performing an autopsy. He looked at Jessica's car and pushed his table out of her way.

Natalia smiled and waved her arms above her head. She yelled something but Jessica couldn't hear her. Natalia blew her a kiss and waved as Jessica passed her.

Travers held up samples on cotton swabs and juggled to keep his hold as Jessica's car caused a breeze when she flew by.

Frank was yelling at a suspect sitting in a chair. He stopped and smiled at Jessica and waved when she passed him.

Then there he was, standing there in the middle of the road. He wasn't moving. Jessica slammed on her breaks and her car came to a screeching halt. She couldn't bring herself to hit him or get out of her car. She looked at him. He smiled and held out his arms. He had blood running down each of his forearms. Jessica jumped from the car and ran to him. She stood there and looked at him. He smiled and the blood began running backwards. Then the cuts on his arms faded. He looked at her. His eyes were glowing, he was happy, he didn't need her.

"_Please Jessica,"_ he said, _"Come home. I need you. You are my soul."_

Jessica felt tears run down her cheeks. "Without you I'm incomplete" she whispered.

Ryan looked at her one last time before he vanished into thin air.

"No Ryan!" Jessica screamed, "Please come back!" She tripped and fell to the ground. Then she remembered she was the one that had left. She was the one that had to go back. Jessica jumped up and ran back to her car. She needed to get back to Ryan before he was gone forever.

Jessica slammed onto the accelerator and the car lurked forward. She didn't slow down for anything and she wasn't going to until she was home with Ryan.

* * *

><p>That was it, the case was over. After hours of fighting with Calvin he finally confessed to breaking into Jessica Franklin's house and raping her. He admitted he had been stalking her and declared he fell in love with her.<p>

Ryan watched him as he was escorted out of the building. He walked outside and watched him be placed in a patrol car.

Ryan looked out into the vast parking lot, the ocean in the distance. The sun was shining and it was still warm outside. He sighed as he watched the car drive away. He felt a hand touch his shoulder and turned to see Jesse and Horatio flanking him on either side. He smiled at his friends and looked back out at the parking lot.

"You did good today Ryan." Jesse said, "You worked hard and you caught the guy."

"Yeah, I just followed the evidence. It wasn't hard, I knew he was guilty from the start."

"How are you feeling Ryan?" Horatio asked him.

Ryan sighed and looked at his boss. "Well I'm feeling better. It still hurts, but I have to move on. I can't stay stuck here somewhere between the past and the future. This is my life now. I just have to accept that fact. Unfortunately it has to be one without her, but I can do this. I'm going to have to live without her, but that doesn't mean I have to stop loving her."

"Mr. Wolfe," Horatio said, "That's a very inspiring statement." He smiled at the young man and grasped his shoulder. "I'm glad you're better."

They heard tires squealing and they could see a car peeling into the parking lot. "Oh look," Jesse said, "I think our next case might be coming to us right now."

A blue SUV swerved into the parking lot and sped through the crowd. Ryan, Jesse, and Horatio walked forward and stood on the steps, watching the car. "You think he's drunk?" Jesse asked. "I don't know," Horatio said, "But I think we're about to find out."

The SUV came to a screeching halt just outside the crime lab, one wheel up on the curb. The car turned off and the driver jumped out. Ryan walked towards the car, staring at it. The driver ran around the front and stumbled over her own feet. She stopped and stared at him.

Her hair was rumpled and dirty, like she hadn't showered in days. There were dark circles under her eyes, hidden behind the black framed glasses. She was wearing a blue t-shirt under a black and white striped hoodie. His blue t-shirt.

"Jessica?" Ryan said.

Jessica stared at him for a moment, her eyes huge and wild. Then she was running, running towards him. No, she was running to him. Ryan stood there for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest. He started running, running to her. She stumbled as she ran. He stopped at the bottom of the steps and she jumped into his arms. She smashed her lips onto his and he wrapped her arms around her. Ryan pulled Jessica close and held her tight. He kissed her back and felt her tears run onto his face.

She finally broke from their kiss and held his face as she sobbed.

"I'm sorry Ryan! I'm so sorry! I love you so much! Please forgive me, take me back! I can't live without you! I love you more than anything else in this world! Please Ryan, I'm so sorry!"

Ryan pulled her against his body as she sobbed into his shirt. He placed his hand on the back of her head and just held her. He felt tears stream down his face and he smelled her hair. He held her, unable to believe it was all real.

"I love you Jessica." He said, burring his face into her hair. "Everything's going to be alright, you're home now."

Jessica leaned back from his arms and looked into Ryan's eyes. "Ryan…" she quietly said. Her eyelids fell shut and her grip on his arms loosened. She sank slowly to the ground and Ryan scooped her into his arms. He sank to his knees and sat back on his heels. Ryan held Jessica in his arms and looked at her lifeless face. He watched his tears drip onto her face and he stroked his hand over her hair. "Jessica?" he whispered.

Horatio watched his daughter run from her car and towards Ryan. He stood there for a moment and then he started running to her. She jumped into his arms and she kissed him. Horatio heard her sobs and begging as she spewed apologies at him. She shook and Ryan said something to her Horatio couldn't hear. Ryan sank to the ground with Jessica in his arms.

Horatio ran to them. He stopped and knelt beside Ryan. He touched Jessica's face and felt her neck. He placed his hand on her chest and felt her breathing. "She's alive" he said. "But what's wrong with her?" Ryan choked out.

"Hey guys, I think I know what's up." They both turned to see Jesse standing next to the blue SUV. He opened the back passenger door. Tons of coffee cups and energy drink cans came pouring out onto the ground. Different brands, different stores, different sizes and strengths. Horatio watched in amazement as the ground became littered with them. He walked over to the car and picked one up. "She's hasn't slept" he muttered. "She drank these to keep her awake."

"How long do you think she was awake?" Jesse asked.

"I don't know." Horatio responded, "I would guess it would take a few days to get from Denver to Miami. I called her Thursday night and begged her to come home then."  
>"Do you think she left then?"<p>

Horatio shook his head. "I don't know and I don't think we'll find out until she wakes up." He turned to look at his daughter still unconscious in Ryan's arms. Ryan still had tears running down his face and he was still stroking her hair. Horatio walked over to him and knelt to the ground. "Take her home Ryan. Take her home and let her sleep. She needs to sleep. She needs you."

Ryan looked at Horatio, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions. "She said she loved me. She finally said it. I've waited two months to hear her say it and she said it. She does love me. She really does love me."

Horatio placed his hand on the back of Ryan's neck. He looked into his red rimmed hazel eyes. "She never stopped loving you."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm the dad."

Ryan couldn't help but chuckle. "Thank you Horatio, thank you for everything. Thank you for taking care of me this week, for saving my life, for giving me hope when I didn't have any." Ryan looked deep into Horatio's eyes. "And thank you for giving me your daughter. She's an incredible person, just like her father."

Horatio smiled and hugged the young man. "Everything's going to be alright Mr. Wolfe. Jessica's home and you're together again. Take her home, let her sleep, be with her. It's not often we get a second chance at love. Take her home and love her Ryan."

Ryan sobbed against Horatio's shoulder for a few minutes before he was able to recompose himself. He sat there and looked at Jessica one last time. He struggled to stand and Horatio helped pull him the rest of the way up. Horatio walked with Ryan as they walked to the employee parking lot. He unlocked the doors to Ryan's Venza as Ryan gently placed her in the passenger seat. Ryan looked at her and more tears fell. He buckled her in and shut the door.

Ryan turned back to Horatio. He rubbed the tears from his eyes and looked at his boss. "Thank you Horatio" he quietly said. Horatio pulled Ryan into his arms and hugged him again. "Take her home Ryan. Don't worry about her car, she left the keys in the ignition. I'll take care of everything. Just take care of my daughter."

Ryan climbed into his car and looked at the sleeping Jessica. He stroked her face with the back of his fingers for a moment and then started his car. Ryan drove on autopilot. He ended up at Jessica's apartment complex. He carried her up to her condo and into her bedroom. He gently placed her on the bed. He pulled off her shoes and the hoodie and slipped her glasses off her face. He carefully removed her jeans, since he knew Jessica hated sleeping in jeans, though he didn't think she could even tell at that point. He reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out her phone. The GPS was still activated. "Arriving at Home" it flashed across the screen.

Ryan watched her sleep for a while before he went and checked to see the door was locked. He wandered back into the bedroom and looked at the bed. He suddenly felt exhausted and couldn't keep his eyes open. Ryan pulled off his suit and button down shirt. He pulled on a t-shirt and climbed into the bed in just his boxers and the shirt. He laid on his side and looked at Jessica's sleeping body. He moved closer and stroked her face again. She rolled onto her side and cuddled up against him. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed. Ryan knew he heard her say his name and he smiled to himself, knowing she really was home.


	9. I Think We Just Did

**Just a forewarning, there are adult themes in this chapter.**

Sunday  
>I think we just did<p>

Jessica woke up when she felt someone touch her cheek. She opened her eyes to see Ryan's face hovering just inches from her own, his hazel eyes shining. Jessica reached up and cupped his cheek with her hand. She ran her other hand through his hair. Ryan hesitated but brought his lips to hers.

Jessica wrapped her arms around his chest. She kissed him and felt him kiss her back. Ryan bit at her lower lip and prodded with his tongue. Jessica permitted him entrance and opened her mouth under his. The taste of his mouth filled her own and Jessica felt herself moan with desire.

Ryan ran his hands through her hair and across her body. He felt her wrap her legs around his waist and roll him over, pinning him beneath her. She ran her hands across his back and raked her nails down his chest through his shirt. Ryan broke for some much needed air and trailed kisses down her neck, biting at random intervals. After a few moments Ryan switched positions with Jessica and started kissing her again.

They continued to roll around the bed, kissing and caressing each other. Jessica ground her hips against Ryan's and he could feel himself start to grow hard. Her hands flew under his t-shirt and pulled it off over his head. She dragged her nails down his chest and across his back. She teased his nipples with her fingers and listened to his moans inside her mouth.

Ryan's hands reached under her shirt and slipped into her bra. He cupped her breast in his hands and squeezed gently. Jessica reached behind her and unclasped the hooks, allowing Ryan more room to roam. He eventually pulled her shirt and bra off and began trailing kisses over her chest. He sucked on each of her nipples and teased them with his tongue until they were hard little buds.

Ryan ran his tongue across her abdomen and felt the scars from her attack against his tongue. He stopped at her panties and smelled her musky scent through the fabric. He laved his tongue across the thin fabric and listened to her moan. Ryan slid his tongue under the fabric and wrapped his tongue around the area between her legs, gathering the material in his mouth. He pulled his head back and her panties followed. He pulled his tongue out and grasped some of the material with his teeth. He pulled them the rest of the way off. He tossed them with his mouth off the bed and stared at her. Ryan crawled back to her head and started kissing her again with huge, wet, open mouthed kisses.

Jessica ran her hands across his chest and arms. She trailed her hands down his sides and stopped at his waist. She tugged at his boxers and pulled them down over his butt. She used her foot to push them the rest of the way down off his feet. Jessica pressed her body against his and held him close as Ryan began biting at her neck again.

Ryan rolled Jessica onto her back and settled in between her legs. He rubbed his forming erection against her vulva and felt her wrap her legs around his waist again. She pressed her body so close to his Ryan was sure Jessica would just melt into him and they would truly become one person. She pushed him up and sat on his lap as she ran her tongue along his neck and up his jaw.

Jessica gently pushed him back down so that their heads were at the foot of the bed. She rubbed her body against his and Ryan felt the folds of skin between her legs open and his hard shaft rub inside her. Jessica moaned as Ryan's hard member rubbed against her clitoris and her engorged labia. She propped herself up with her arms and he watched as the sweat formed on her body and her breasts bounced. He could feel his member rubbing against his leg, pinned beneath her butt. The friction between their bodies made the quaking begin deep within his body.

Ryan ground his hips against Jessica's and began moving his body faster. He felt his pre-cum leaking onto his leg and he could feel how wet she was against the top of his shaft. He wanted his release to come, but he wanted to make sure Jessica had hers also. Jessica seemed to sense what Ryan was doing and pressed harder down on him.

She panted for air and felt the flush creep up her body. Ryan leaned up and captured her lips in a searing kiss. Jessica bit at his neck in the spot she knew drove him crazy. Ryan groaned and felt his body start to shake. He thrusted his hips a few more times against hers and then Jessica spoke for the first time since she collapsed at the lab.

She threw her head back and cried out in pleasure. "Oh god Ryannnn!" Ryan felt a warm moisture pour over his shaft and knew the deed was done. Jessica sudden secretion drove Ryan over the edge. He felt his seed shoot out over his leg and bathe their bodies in his warmth.

Jessica leaned over him panting for a moment before she lowered herself onto his chest. Ryan wrapped his arms around her and just held her. Neither of them spoke for several minutes. After lying together in a naked, sweaty, tangled mess Jessica turned her head and kissed Ryan gently. She looked into his eyes and stroked his face.

"Do you think it's possible to make love without actually having sex?" she asked him.

Ryan gently grazed his fingers over the skin where they rested on her back. "I do, and I think we just did."

* * *

><p>Ryan was in the kitchen, making pancakes. Jessica was upstairs in her bathroom showering. Ryan sprinkled chocolate chips into the batter and watched as the circles in the pan bubbled. He flipped them and heard someone walk into the kitchen. He turned to see Jessica silently standing in the doorway. She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a white Penn State t-shirt. Her hair hung around her chin in a wet shag. Her eyes were red and there were still dark circles under them.<p>

Ryan looked at her and smiled. He held his arms out. Jessica hesitated but walked to him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. Jessica looked into his eyes and felt tears form. Ryan brought her head to his and kissed her gently. Jessica leaned into his body and kissed him back. Their embrace became more passionate and Jessica pressed her body against his.

Ryan broke from the embrace and looked into her eyes. He reached over and scooped the pancakes from the pan onto a plate. He turned off the stove and looked back at Jessica. "Didn't want breakfast to burn." He muttered before bringing her face back to his.

"Does this mean you love me again?" Jessica asked.

"I never stopped loving you." Ryan told her as he kissed her again.

"I'm sorry Ryan, I should have never left." Jessica said as he kissed her neck. "You're the greatest thing in my life and I love you so much. I don't understand why I decided to give it all away. Can you ever forgive me?"

Ryan stopped and looked at her. "Let's just eat right now. We can talk later."

Jessica looked at him disappointed. "Alright" she said quietly, looking at the floor. Ryan lifted her chin and kissed her gently. "I don't hate you if that's what you're thinking. I could never hate you Jessica Caine."

When they were done eating and the dishes loaded into the dish washer. They stood in the kitchen looking at each other. Ryan reached over and cupped his hand around her cheek. "Why did you do it?"

Jessica shook her head and felt the tears form. "I wanted to get away from my past. I felt like staying in Miami was holding me back. When I left for college when I was fifteen I felt that I left my past in Chicago, but that first year I learned your past never really leaves you. The memories never fade and time passes you on by. We're prisoners to our past and who we used to be. I thought maybe this time I could escape it, get away from everything that ever hurt me. It didn't work though. Everyone in Denver saw this happy, fun, loving person, but inside I was dying. I was dying because I left my heart in Miami." Jessica's hand slid up onto Ryan's chest. She felt the steady rhythm beneath against her palm. "And you can't live without your heart."

Ryan placed his hand over hers and held it. "Jessica a few days ago I realized I can live without you. I don't need you in my life anymore. I'm fine on my own." He ran his hand through her hair as he looked at the pain in her eyes. "But I don't want to live without you, never again."

Ryan kissed her gently and pulled her against his body. Jessica's hand gently squeezed the spot on Ryan's chest and she wrapped her other arm around his body. Ryan broke from the kiss for some much needed air. He ran the back of his knuckles down her cheek and just looked at her.

"Come on" he quietly said. He led Jessica into the living room. They sat on the couch and Ryan held her hands. "What did you do in Denver?"

"Stapled a guy's arm."  
>Ryan laughed and kissed her cheek. "Why does that not surprise me?"<p>

* * *

><p>Horatio watched as the men at the car wash cleaned the inside of Jessica's car. The carpeting was caked with coffee and energy drinks that had spilled. They were steaming the carpeting and Horatio watched as the stains seemed to disappear.<p>

"That was one sticky car Lieutenant." The owner said, "My guys had to bust out the big steamer to get that gunk out."  
>"I appreciate it Carl." Horatio said, "My little just got this car and I would hate for it to be ruined."<p>

"It's a nice car Lieutenant." Carl commented, "You don't see many Audis in Miami. Everyone wants a convertible Corvette or a Jeep. Something big and flashy, you know? Your daughter has good taste."  
>"Actually her stepmother picked it out."<br>"I didn't know you were married Lieutenant."  
>"Widower actually, my wife died four years ago."<p>

"I'm sorry to hear it."  
>"It's alright, she was sick, her time was almost up."<p>

"Well it looks like your car's done. Here's the keys and have a great day Lieutenant. I don't imagine you get many days off."  
>"No," Horatio said, "Not many at all."<p>

* * *

><p>Jessica listened to Ryan finish telling her about his week without her. Her chest hurt when she thought about what he told her happened at Horatio's the day she left. She slid her hand up to his cheek and looked into his eyes. "You really wanted to die?"<p>

Ryan blinked back the tears he felt burning in his eyes. "I thought I did, but Horatio proved me wrong. He showed me last week that just because someone leaves you doesn't mean you have to stop loving them. Life goes on even when they're gone and you have to stay strong, not for them but for yourself." Ryan kissed her knuckles. "I love you Jessica. There's nothing in this world that can ever change that."  
>Jessica leaned across and kissed him. "I love you, too, Ryan. I'm sorry I left. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life. It was even worse than that day I met James."<br>"Don't talk about him." Ryan said, leaning his forehead against hers, "He's gone and he's never coming back, ever again. All that matters is us. We're together again and we'll never be apart."

Jessica kissed him and looked into his eyes. "I promise Ryan I'll never leave you again. You are my soul-"

"And without you," Ryan continued, "I'm incomplete."

* * *

><p>Ryan parked his car at the top of the hill at Stone Cove. He and Jessica climbed out together and carried their stuff down to the beach. Ryan spread out a blanket and Jessica began unpacking their picnic dinner. They ate their sandwiches together and enjoyed some fresh pineapple Ryan had bought at the store while Jessica was at home preparing their dinner.<p>

Ryan laid on his back and Jessica cuddled up to his side. He wrapped one arm around her and folded the other behind his head. "It's so beautiful here." Ryan said, "I can see why your mother bought it."  
>"Yeah, Momma always told me some day we would move to Miami. She told me when she was out of the hospital and she wasn't sick anymore she was going to take me and Daddy and move us to Florida where it's always sunny."<p>

Ryan nuzzled his head against her hair. "She told you that?"

"Yes, she promised me one day we would be the family she knew I always wanted us to be."  
>"You mean with Horatio?"<p>

Jessica nodded her head against his chest. "She knew I wanted Horatio to be my father. She knew I felt Horatio loved me like Brian never did. I know Brian loved me, I was his flesh and blood after all, but Horatio was truly my father. Brian was just a sperm donor."  
>"Did she tell you she was going to marry Horatio?"<p>

"Yes, when she said we were going to move I asked if Horatio could come and she told me that's who she meant when she said Daddy. I was so excited. Two months later she died, just before our birthday."

Ryan kissed her head and sat up. He pulled Jessica up to her feet and kissed her again. "Let's go for a walk." He said, intertwining their fingers.

They walked along the shore and watched the sunset. Jessica and Ryan stood on the beach together. Ryan ran his hand through her hair and looked into Jessica's deep blue eyes. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the box that held Jessica's ring. He opened the box and pulled the ring from the padding. He turned it over in his hand a few times before he gently held Jessica's hand and slid the ring onto her finger. Jessica looked up at him and smiled. Ryan leaned down and gently kissed her.

"I love you Jessica." He said, "You're the most amazing woman I've ever met and I never want to be away from you again."  
>"I love you too Ryan." Jessica said, "I'm sorry I left. Can you forgive me?"<p>

"You hurt me so much." Ryan told her, "I watched you walk away and knew my life was over. I wanted to end my life that night, but Horatio stopped me, and I'm so glad he did. I don't know if I can forgive you, but I'm willing to try. I'm willing to try this again, but you have to be willing to try too. I don't want this to end Jess, ever. I love you so much."

Jessica reached up and brushed a tear off his cheek Ryan hadn't known was there. "I'm so sorry Ryan. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought if I left Miami then all my problems would be gone, but they weren't, it just made everything worse. I had to come back to you. You are the only thing that matters in my life anymore. You're the one thing that means more to me than my own life."  
>Ryan kissed her again. "Let's start over." He said, "Let's try again, because I love you and I'm willing to forgive you." Jessica smiled at him weakly. "Thank you" she whispered.<p>

Ryan held her hands and looked into her eyes. "Jessica Caine, I promise I will always trust you and I will always be here for you no matter what. You're the most amazing person I have ever met and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you Jessica."

Jessica looked in Ryan's beautiful hazel eyes. "Ryan Wolfe, I promise you are the only man I will ever love. I promise I will never hurt you and I will care for you as long as we live. I want to spend the rest of eternity with you because you are my soul mate. I love you Ryan."

Ryan leaned down and rested his forehead against hers. "You are my soul…" Ryan said.  
>"And without you," Jessica continued, "I'm incomplete."<p>

Ryan brought his lips to hers and gently kissed her. Jessica felt her heart explode and saw stars as they sealed their vow with a kiss.


	10. Cherry Blossoms

Monday

Cherry Blossoms

Jessica and Ryan walked through the crime lab together holding hands. They no longer cared what anyone thought or said about them being together. They stopped outside Horatio's office and Jessica took a deep breathe before she knocked.

Horatio looked up from his work to see his daughter standing in the doorway with Ryan Wolfe. They were holding hands and Horatio felt a pain in his chest. "Dr. Caine, I was expecting you." Horatio leaned back in his chair and motioned for her to enter. "Please have a seat, Mr. Wolfe if you wouldn't mind shutting the door behind you."

Jessica walked in and sat at the chair before her father's desk. She looked at him and then darted her eyes to the floor before she finally brought her eyes back to his. Ryan sat on the couch and tried his best to be invisible. He knew this was going to be a nasty meeting but he knew Jessica wanted him there, and since Horatio hadn't asked him to leave he knew Horatio wanted him there, too.

Horatio looked at Jessica, the disappointment obvious in his eyes. He reached into a drawer and began placing various items on his desk. He started with Jessica's Miami Dade ID card and badge, then her credentials, then her back up weapon, then her glock, and finally her letter of resignation. He looked at her with his cool blue eyes.

"Dr. Caine, last Monday you presented me with this letter stating that you were resigning from the position of Forensic Specialist from the Miami Dade Crime Lab. Immediately after you left the state and cut off all contact with me. In doing so you took the liberty to take your badge, department issued glock, and your back up weapon with you. As you should know upon resigning, discharge, or suspension all employees are expected to return all of their Miami Dade issued equipment, which includes all three of these items. Failing to do so results in a fine and possible criminal charges, as well as discharge from any Miami Dade County state employer.

"Dr. Caine I should have filed for your arrest for stealing Miami Dade Police equipment. These are very serious charges and could result in your arrest. Do you understand?"

Jessica looked at him with her large blue eyes full of sorrow. "Yes sir."

Horatio sighed and rubbed his eyes. "As your supervisor I should not permit you to be reemployed here at the Miami Dade Crime Lab." He leaned forward, resting his arms on his desk. "But as your father I can't let that happen. You're my little girl and I love you more than anything else in the world."

Jessica looked at Horatio as small tears ran down her cheeks. "I think you've been through enough in this lifetime." Horatio said, "You don't need anymore stress."

Jessica wiped the tears from her face and looked at her father. "Thank you sir."

Horatio smiled and picked up Jessica's letter. "Besides, Rick Stetler's been out of town for two weeks now on vacation." He said, "He hasn't seen this letter and in fact he doesn't even know it exists. As far as he's concerned Dr. Caine," Horatio reached into another drawer and pulled out a piece of paper. "You've been here this whole time." He slid the paper to Jessica. It was her punch in and out times. According to the paper Jessica had been in all week, arriving every day at 7:00am sharp and leaving between 5:00-9:00pm. Horatio had even signed off on overtime one day that week.

Jessica looked at her father. "But sir, these times are fake, this is fraud. I could get in a lot of trouble for this."  
>"You could also get in a lot of trouble for stealing MDPD property." Horatio said, "Take your pick Dr. Caine; prison or cash."<p>

Jessica hesitated for a moment. She grabbed a pen off Horatio's desk and signed the paper. She slid it back across the desk to her father and looked at him.

Horatio picked the paper up and read over it. "Let me forewarn you Dr. Caine, this will be the first and last time I cover for your ass. If you ever do anything like this again I will have your badge and I will not go easy on you just because you are my daughter." Horatio's eyes seemed to burn with the anger Jessica knew he felt. She nodded her head and looked at him. "Yes sir."

Horatio smiled and his eyes softened as he stood from his desk. He pulled Jessica into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "You still get that same scared shitless look on your face when you know you're in trouble you did when you were a kid."

Jessica smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder. "That's because you always did scare me shitless."

"Did you call him sir or was that something the academy taught you?" Ryan asked, making his presence known for the first time.

Jessica smiled at him as Horatio released her from his hold. "No, that was something she did on her own." Horatio said, "She angered me one time and when I scolded her she called me sir. I never figured out where she learned it."

"I think it was just the fear of you that instilled that respect in me." Jessica sighed, "Something I never felt with Brian." Jessica brushed tears from her eyes. "I miss him and love him so much but he wasn't the father you were Horatio."  
>Horatio kissed her forehead. "I miss him too Bug. Why don't you take this fine gentleman and enjoy your last day off, because come tomorrow I'm working you to the bone."<br>Jessica smiled at him. She ran her hands over his chest and up to his shoulders. She brushed something off of his jacket. "Thanks Dad, you're the greatest."

Ryan walked up behind Jessica and gently placed his hand on her hips. Jessica looked at him and smiled. He kissed her forehead and turned to Horatio. "Thank you Horatio," he said, "For everything."

Jessica and Ryan walked out of Horatio's office, holding hands once again. They started towards the elevator when they heard someone call out for them. "Jessica, Ryan wait!" They turned to see Tom walking towards them. Horatio popped out of his office to see what Tom wanted. Tom approached Jessica and Ryan carrying something in his hand.

"Jessica, Ryan, I'm glad I caught you." Tom said nervously, "I had something I wanted to give something to you. Um, there's really no easy way to do this. So I guess…here I want you to have this." He held out a small urn. It was brass colored with a wide green band in the center. Within the green was a flower pattern, cherry blossom tree branches.

Jessica looked at it and reached out her shaking hands. Tom gently placed the urn in Jessica's hands. She looked at it for a moment. She carefully lifted the lid and inside was a gray powder. Jessica looked back at Tom as she felt her eyes start to water. "Tom, is this…"

"Your baby," Tom said. "After the case closed I was instructed to dispose of the biological evidence, which included the finger and fetus delivered to the lab. Normally when it comes to fetal tissue I'm suppose to dispose of it as biological waste." Tom looked at both Jessica and Ryan. "But she's not biological waste, she's your child and she doesn't deserve to be thrown out. She deserves to be honored."

Ryan wrapped his hands around Jessica's and looked at the urn. "Thank you Tom," he said, "This means so much to us."

Jessica continued to stare at the urn for a moment before she placed it in Ryan's hands. She walked to Tom and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you Tom," she said, "For taking care of our baby."

Tom hugged her back and patted her on the back. "You're welcome. Judge Iddings was right, she didn't die in vain."

Ryan handed the urn to Jessica who held it against her chest. Ryan brushed the tears off her cheeks and kissed the side of her head. "Come on Jess, let's go home and make another."

"Mr. Wolfe," Horatio said in a stern voice.

"Uh oh, your dad caught me. Let's run before he makes me infertile."

Jessica couldn't help but chuckle. She looked at Ryan and smiled. "You always knew just what to say."

They intertwined their fingers and walked down the hall together. Horatio watched as they left and felt his heart swell.

"Thank you Tom," Horatio said, "Thank you for helping my baby."

Tom smiled at him. "It didn't feel right throwing her out with the trash. She was a person, too, no matter what the law says." Tom paused for a moment before he continued. "Horatio, can I ask you something?"

"Absolutely Dr. Tom," Horatio responded.

"Why Ryan Wolfe? Why did Jessica pick him?"  
>Horatio smiled and looked back at the elevator. "I tried asking that question once and she couldn't tell me. I think know though. It's the same reason I picked her mother."<br>"What's that?"

"Because she stole my heart and made me fall in love with her."


	11. Good Riddance

Tuesday  
>Good Riddance<p>

Jessica and Ryan walked into the Crime Lab together. They signed in at the front desk and dropped their stuff off in their lockers. Jessica was shocked when she saw the condition of her locker. There were large dents in it and the door almost didn't shut anymore. She ran her hands along the cool damaged metal. She looked at Ryan and could see the pain in his eyes. She pulled him into her arms and kissed him. She felt small tears form against her face. Jessica looked into Ryan's eyes and gently brushed a tear away.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Jessica shook her head. "It's not your fault, it's mine. It's really my fault this time."

They walked to the lay out room to meet with Horatio to receive their assignments for the day. The other members of the team were already there and waiting. An angry looking Calleigh, Eric, Natalia, and Walter looked at her as Jesse hid behind them. Jessica shifted and tried to hide behind Ryan. He squeezed her hand gently.

Jesse looked at the others and then Jessica. He walked towards her slowly and smiled.

"Hey Jess," he said, "I'm glad to see you're home." He held out his arms and Jessica felt her heart melt. She closed the distance between them and hugged Jesse. He kissed her cheek and whispered into her ear. "I missed you best, friend. The Jesse Power was gone and Walter almost took over the lab."

Jessica chuckled and held him close. "How did you defeat him?"

"I threw him a cupcake." Jesse whispered, his lips brushing against her ear.

Jesse released Jessica and before she knew it Calleigh was throwing her arms around her.

"Oh Jessie sweetie, I'm so glad you're back!" she said, "I missed you so much!"

Soon everyone was hugging her and declaring how much they had missed her. Jessica felt the sense of anxiety she had felt lift off her shoulders. When she had stepped back from Eric's greeting Jessica looked at Walter, still standing in the corner looking upset.

"Walter," Jessica said softly, "I'm sorry."  
>"Are you still the same Jessica as you were before?" Walter asked.<p>

Jessica nodded her head. "Yes Walter, I'm still the Jessica you know and love."  
>"Then prove it." Walter said. He walked to the table and set his elbow down with his forearm held upwards. Jessica smirked at him and walked over to the table. She grabbed a large book off the shelf and set it on the table. She placed her elbow on top of the book and grasped Walter's hand.<p>

"You might get a home court advantage here Wally." Jessica taunted.

"How so?" Walter asked, as Eric grasped both their hands with his own.

"I haven't lifted weights in two months."

"You were still lifting when you were pregnant?"

An evil look appeared in Jessica's eyes. "Why the hell not?"

"On three," Eric announced, "One, two, three!" Eric released their hands and Walter and Jessica began pushing against each others hands. The room erupted into cheers as the team took sides. Ryan, Jesse, and Calleigh rooted for Jessica while Eric and Natalia cheered on Walter. Other staff members began to stop and watch through the windows as the battle continued. They could hear bets being placed.

Walter and Jessica strained against the others arm. Walter pushed with all his might and small sweat beads formed on his forehead. Jessica groaned with the effort of keeping her arm up. She watched as her arm started to move under the force of Walter's. Her hand was halfway to the table and the cheers for Walter grew louder.

Horatio walked into the layout room, slips of paper with assignments for cases in hand. He looked at the match commencing between his daughter and the large African American CSI. He chuckled and stood next to Ryan. "Is this what I'm paying you guys for?"

Ryan laughed and smiled at his boss. "Not all the time."  
>Horatio smiled and watched the match. He could see that Jessica was about to give in, her arm inching closer to the table. "Jessica," he said, "Don't you dare disgrace my good name."<br>Jessica's eyes shot over to her father and she smiled. "I would never do that, Daddy."

Suddenly Walter's arm whipped upwards. Now his hand was headed for the table. Walter pushed against Jessica's hand but he couldn't seem to move it. Jessica pressed hard against Walter's strain and the cheers changed as people began cheering for Jessica. She was almost there, just another three inches, she could do this. Walter pushed as hard as he could but he couldn't move. His hand slammed hard onto the table under the force of Jessica's.

The lab erupted into a sea of cheers. Jessica held her arms high above her head in victory. Eric ran to her side and grabbed her wrist. "The winner is Dr. Jessica Stone-Caine! The reigning champion!"

Walter shook his head. "Man that wasn't fair, that's the shoulder I had surgery on."  
>"Want to go again?" Jessica said, placing her left arm on the table. "I'll go gimp this time."<p>

Walter laughed. "No way man, you're a beast!"

Jessica laughed and playfully punched him in the arm. "Oh come on Wally, you're not going to give up that easily, are you?"

"As a matter of fact I am!" Walter playfully declared, "I'm not loosing twice in one day."

"Alright you hooligans," Horatio said, "Time to pair up. Jessica, Calleigh, and Jesse you're going to the marina, we've got a boat covered in dead bodies, at least seventeen causalities. Ryan and Eric you're going to the Glades, we've got a floater. Walter you've got a DB in a pet store."

* * *

><p>Jessica was done for the day but Ryan still had a few more things he needed to do to hand off a case to the night shift. She wandered through the halls with Jesse. They stopped in the break room and sat down on one of the couches together. He laced his hands into hers and smiled at her.<p>

"I'm really glad you came home, Jess." He quietly said, "I missed you. We were so lost without you."  
>"Thanks Jesse," Jessica said, "You were so persistent that at one point I really did almost come home."<br>"What finally changed your mind?"

Jessica smiled and pulled out her cell phone. She opened her messages and handed it to Jesse. He looked through the hundreds of pictures of her and Ryan Horatio had sent her. He smiled and laughed at some of them. He stopped to ask about a few of them and Jessica told him the story behind them. Jesse stopped on the last picture and looked at Jessica. "What's this one?"

Jessica looked at the screen. "That's the night Ryan's body started to shut down on him. Horatio said he woke up in the middle of the night and found Ryan in the hall. He was drenched in sweat and he was burning up. Horatio gave him aspirin and made him sit in a warm bath and his temperature finally went back to normal. Horatio said he was afraid Ryan was going to die." She brushed the tears from her eyes. "I'm such a terrible person, he almost died because of me."  
>Jesse pulled Jessica into his arms and kissed her forehead. "You're not terrible, you were just confused and scared. I've been there before. It's not an easy place to be either."<p>

Jessica hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Thank you Jesse, for all you've done for me and Ryan."

Jesse smiled. "Does this mean I get to be in the wedding party?"

Jessica groaned and rolled her eyes. "Why are people still saying that?"

"Because it's true, you and Ryan should get married."  
>"But Jesse we haven't even been together for a year now."<p>

"Well then in four months pop the question to him."

"Shut up you," Jessica said, ruffling his hair as she stood from the couch.

Jessica saw Ryan walking towards the break room. He grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. "Hey beautiful, ready to go?"

Jessica smiled. "Yeah, let's get out of here before I have to listen to this bimbo anymore." Gesturing her head towards Jesse. Ryan chuckled and they both said good-bye to Jesse.

They held hands as they walked towards the locker room. Jessica stopped when she heard music playing lightly. She walked into Horatio's office. He was sitting on the couch tuning a guitar. Jessica smiled at him when he looked at her.

"I haven't seen you play in awhile." She said, sitting next to him.

"Well I haven't heard you play either." Horatio responded, handing Jessica her guitar case.

Jessica smiled and pulled out her guitar, Sebastian. She ran her fingers done the mahogany neck, tracing the pattern of the brass Celtic knot under the strings. She smiled and looked at its sister, Celesta, sitting in Horatio's lap. "So what are we playing old man?"

Horatio smiled and nudged her. "You start, I'll try and follow."

Jessica thought about it for a second and started strumming a familiar chord progression. Horatio smiled and started playing along with her. Jessica stopped, grabbed the neck of Horatio's guitar and retuned his A string. "That's better," she smiled. She started playing again and Horatio jumped back in again.

Ryan stood and watched as father and daughter shared their special moment. He started humming along as Jessica began singing.

_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road  
>Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go<br>So make the best of this test, and don't ask why  
>It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time<em>

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
>I hope you had the time of your life.<p>

Jessica heard Ryan humming and looked at him with a sly smile on her face. Ryan rolled his eyes and shook his head. She continued to sing and locked eyes with him, nodding her head.

_So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind  
>Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time<br>Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial  
>For what it's worth it was worth all the while<em>

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
>I hope you had the time of your life.<p>

Ryan chuckled and finally gave in. He walked over and sat on the arm of the couch and began rubbing Jessica's back as he joined her.

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
>I hope you had the time of your life.<em>

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
>I hope you had the time of your life.<p>

Horatio smiled started singing with them. Jessica looked at her father and he watched a small tear run down her cheek. Ryan reached over and brushed it off.

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
>I hope you had the time of your life. <em>

Horatio quietly faded his guitar out and Jessica finished the last few bars alone. When she was done she looked at Horatio and more tears formed in her eyes. "Thanks Dad" she said to him. "Anything for my little Bug" he said as he brushed the tears away.

"Can we play one more?" Jessica asked, "Please?"

Horatio smiled and lifted his guitar. He started strumming a new song. It took Jessica a moment to recognize it before she started playing and singing.

_Do you remember when  
>How long has it been?<br>Nineteen forty five  
>You opened my blue eyes<br>To see a whole new life_

Do you remember when  
>I told you this that night<br>That if you're by my side  
>When everyday begins<br>I'll fall for you again?  
>I made a promise when<br>I told you this that night

That I'll be fine  
>Cause when I die then I die loving you<br>It's alright, I'll be fine  
>When I die then I die loving you<br>Loving you, loving you

Horatio sang with her as the song went on. Jessica's eyes seemed to glow as she continued to play. She started to sing the back up to Horatio's voice as the song progressed forward.

_Life has led us here  
>Together all these years<br>This house that we have made  
>Holds twenty-thousand days<br>And memories we've saved  
>Since life has lead us here<em>

And I'll be fine  
>Cause when I die then I die loving you<br>It's alright, I'll be fine  
>Cause when I die then I die loving you<br>Loving you, loving you

It was Horatio's turn to let a tear slide down his cheek at the memory of the woman he loved.

_I'm coming home to you  
>Stepping off my shoes<br>Resting in my chair  
>See you standing there<br>The silver in your hair  
>I'm coming home to you<em>

When I lay tonight  
>When I close my eyes<br>I know the sun will rise  
>Here or the next life<br>As long as you?re still mine

Then it's alright, I'll be fine  
>Cause when I die then I die loving you<br>It's alright, I'll be fine  
>Cause when I die then I die loving you<br>Loving you, loving you

The song came to an end and they let the last chord resonant. Jessica looked at her father. She brushed the back of her fingers against his cheek, wiping away the tear. Horatio reached up and took her hand in his. He kissed the back of her knuckles and looked into her matching eyes.

"I didn't know you liked Yellowcard, Dad." Jessica said.

"Well I heard that song one day while driving home and it made me think of your mother." Horatio said, "I downloaded it as soon as I got home and listened to it until I could play it myself." He chuckled to himself. "I felt just like I did when your mother and I would listen to our favorite songs until we could play them together. I'm actually surprised you were able to follow."  
>Jessica smiled at him. "I heard it too, and I did the same thing. It made me think of you and Mom and what our family should have been."<p>

Horatio pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I love you Jessica."  
>"I love you, too, Daddy."<p>

**Horatio listens to Yellowcard? That's a surprise. lol**


	12. Watch Me

**This chapter does contain adult themes. And they're kind of raunchy, if I do say so myself.**

Wednesday  
>Watch Me<p>

Jessica knocked lightly on the doorframe to Horatio's office. He looked up and smiled at his daughter. "Hey Bug, what's up?"

"Horatio I have a physical therapy appointment this afternoon." Jessica said, "I'm going to have to leave about four o'clock. Would you like me to come back afterwards?"

Horatio thought it over and shook his head. "No don't worry about it. Just have your case completed or ready to hand off to the night shift before you go."  
>Jessica smiled. "Thanks Dad."<p>

Jessica wandered back down to the Trace lab and talked over her results with Travers. Ryan walked in and smiled when he saw her. He waited patiently for Travers to finish talking to her.

"Ryan," Travers said when he looked up, "I didn't even see you come in."  
>"Yup, been practicing my ninja skills" Ryan chuckled.<p>

"Too bad you're still not that sneaky." Jessica muttered, still looking into the microscope.

"And you still don't know how to use a microscope."  
>"Fuck off asshole."<p>

Travers stood there awkwardly for a moment looking between them. "Are you two still…"

"Dating?" Jessica finished, "Unfortunately. Don't know how I got stuck with the cod though."

"Hey at least my apartment is clean!" Ryan jokingly retorted.

"Yes and you like to use the stuff that almost kills me, too." Jessica said.

"Horatio and I were talking about that the other day." Ryan said, "He mentioned he had bleach free chlorine in his pool just so you can swim in it."

"Are you allergic to bleach Jessica?" Travers asked.

"Yup, and it gets pretty nasty sometimes."  
>"Then you might want to leave before I pull out Ryan's samples." He looked at Ryan before he continued. "The liquid you found in the victim's lungs and stomach was bleach. It's also what caused the massive chemical burns through out his mouth and throat."<br>"Damn," Ryan said, "That would be one hell of a way to go."

"Especially for me." Jessica said, collecting her samples. "Thanks Travers, if I find anything else I'll drop it off." Jessica turned to Ryan. "I forgot I have a physical therapy appointment today so do you want to call me and I'll come pick you up?"

"No, I'll see if I can bum a ride off of someone. Calleigh owes me one from a few years ago."  
>Jessica smiled and winked at him. "Then I'll be waiting for you at home." She walked past him and slapped his butt as he left the Trace lab. Ryan felt a wave of excitement flush through him.<p>

Ryan walked over to Travers to look at the results. Travers looked at him questionably. "It's not what you think." Ryan tried to say, his ears turning red.

"Oh I think it's exactly what I think." Travers said to him. "Let's just finish this before your hormones get the best of you."

* * *

><p>Jessica was piecing shredded pictures back together on top of the light table. She watched Ryan walk by with Eric. They were discussing something and Jessica guessed it had to do with the floater case they were working on. Jessica felt a strange sensation inside her. She pushed her legs together and felt herself suddenly become wet. She looked at Ryan and licked her lips. She could feel a pulsating sensation between her legs. Jessica watched Ryan and stared at his perfect ass in those snug jeans of his. The pulsating increased and she could feel her panties dampening. She gripped the edge of the table and squeezed her legs tighter together. There was a sharp jolt and Jessica jumped a little, but it felt so good. She stared at his muscular arms and there was another jolt. She wanted more. She wanted more jolts, more moisture, more Ryan.<p>

She was horny, turned on, aroused. That's what this sensation was. It had been so long Jessica had nearly forgotten what it felt like to desire for Ryan, to crave his body. To want to feel him throb hard inside her. To feel his mouth on her. To feel his body against hers.

She wanted him and she wanted him bad.

* * *

><p>Ryan rode in Calleigh's car to Jessica condo. "So when are you and the Misses moving in together?" Calleigh asked him. Ryan rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Calleigh we haven't even made it to one year. Let us get past that landmark and I'll let you know when the wedding is."<br>"So you _are_ going to marry her."

"No, I didn't say we were going to get married."  
>"Yes you did dumbass. You just said you would let me know when the wedding is."<br>"Oh shut up."  
>"But seriously Ryan, are you going to ask Jessica to marry you?" Calleigh inquired, "I mean you guys are perfect for each other! You make such a cute couple!"<p>

Ryan thought it over. "I don't know. I want to but I'm afraid."  
>"Afraid of what? She's already wearing a ring from you, might as well buy another."<p>

"I'm afraid that this will end up like the other times."

"Other times?" Calleigh questioned.

"I never told you about the other three women I proposed to before I started working at the crime lab, did I?" Ryan asked her.  
>"You proposed three times?" Calleigh asked surprised.<p>

"Yeah and all three said no. It's a bit discouraging."

"But Jessica's different Ryan. She really loves you. I mean the poor girl drove for two days with no sleep, drinking coffee and energy drinks non-stop, and started to hallucinate just to be with you again. She could have stopped and slept but she wanted to get back as soon as she could. If that's not love then I don't know what is."  
>Ryan smiled at his friend. "Yeah, I guess you're right."<p>

* * *

><p>Ryan walked into Jessica's condo, tossed his keys on the table by the door, and locked the door behind him. He stood there for a moment listening. Jessica wasn't in the living room or kitchen like she normally would have been at that time. Ryan wandered upstairs. The door to their bedroom was slightly ajar and Ryan carefully pushed it open the rest of the way. The sight that met him made his heart pound.<p>

Jessica was lying on the bed with her back propped up on pillows against the headboard. She was wearing just a black cami that was pulled up exposing her stomach and part of the new tattooon her leftside and gray panties, pulled down just ever so slightly. Her legs were spread wide apart and Ryan could see the large wet spot that was collecting on the fabric of her underwear. A flush was present across her midsection and she was breathing heavily.

"Ryan," Jessica said in a seductive voice, "I've been waiting for you."

Ryan felt the blood suddenly rush to his groin. His jeans quickly grew tight and he could feel his own flush creeping up his abdomen under his shirt. It had been so long since Jessica had caused this reaction in Ryan that it took him by surprise.

Jessica trailed her hand down her stomach and slid it into her panties. She moaned and arched her back at her own touch. Ryan felt like he couldn't take it anymore. He needed her so bad.

Ryan pulled off his shirt and started on his belt. Jessica leapt up and knelt at the end of the bed. She grabbed Ryan by the waist of his jeans and pulled him in for a searing kiss. Her hand was on his face, still damp, and Ryan could smell her musky scent that he enjoyed so much. He felt himself grow unbearably hard.

Jessica broke from the kiss and reached under the bed. She pulled out the black box that Ryan had come to know as her "naughty box." Jessica pulled out a pair of handcuffs and grabbed Ryan wrists and pulled him close. She practically tore his jeans and boxers from his body.

Once Ryan was completely nude Jessica pushed him into a chair from the kitchen Ryan hadn't noticed that was facing the bed. She handcuffed him to the chair and bit at his neck. Ryan moaned and attempted to rub his erection between her straddling legs without using his hands. Jessica placed her hands on his hips and held him down.

"Watch me." she whispered into his ear. Jessica walked back to the bed and pulled off her cami and panties, letting them pool on the ground with Ryan's clothes. She climbed onto the bed and sat with her back against the pillows and her legs spread apart.

Jessica reached her hand between her legs and started touching herself. Ryan watched as the pink skin of her labia became a deep red as the blood engorged within her. She moaned and lifted her hips as her fingers rubbed against her clitoris. Ryan felt himself grow harder and his erection was almost touching his stomach. He moaned and squirmed in the chair.

"You want to touch me, don't you Ryan?" Jessica asked in the same seductive voice.

"Yes, please Jessie." he said, his voice low with desire.

"Too bad, you can only waaaaaaaatch!" Jessica moaned loudly as she tried to finish her sentence. Her hand movements sped up and Ryan watched the flush creep up her body. He felt something touch his penis and looked down to see pre-cum leaking down his length.

Then Jessica removed her hand and reached into the box. She pulled out a vibrator and a bottle of lube. The vibrator was made of pink silicon rubber, had a black handle, and was very life like. Ryan could see several bullets inside it and it was rather lengthy and girthy, but was still marginally smaller than him.

"This is Thunder Vibe, but I like to call him Victor." Jessica said. She pours some lube on the vibrator and began working her hand up and down the shaft. "When I first started at the crime lab I was really horny one day. I came home and pulled out Victor here and pretended it was you."

Ryan felt his cock twitch and pull even further upwards. "Did you really?" he managed to ask amongst his hasty breathes. Jessica gave him a sly smile and pulled a little harder on the vibrator. "Would I ever lie to you pumpkin?"

Jessica positioned the vibrator at her entrance and slowly pushed it in. She moaned at the intrusion though it wasn't even turned on yet. Jessica pushed it in all the way and stopped. She closed her eyes and sat there for a moment.

"Oh god Ryan, you're so big." Jessica started moving the vibrator inside her. "Oh Ryan, please give me more." She pushed a button and a low humming noise emitted from the toy. "Oh god…"

Ryan didn't know how much more he could take. His penis was bent up and poking against his stomach. Pre-cum was dripping down his shaft and onto his hips. "Please Jess let me touch you."

Jessica sped up her movements and turned up the speed on the vibrator. She was gasping for air and her eyes were shut tight. "Oh god Ryan, I think I'm going to cum!"

Ryan felt his erection pulsating and knew he didn't have much time. "Then cum for me Jessie."

Jessica's back arched and she cried out Ryan's name as her climax hit. Seeing Jessica in such an ecstatic stage sent Ryan right over the edge. A stream of semen shot onto his stomach and bathed him in his own warmth.

Jessica stopped moving and turned off the vibrator. She laid there on the bed panting. Finally she opened her eyes and looked at Ryan. She gave him a seductive smile and looked him over.

"Did I excite you Mr. Wolfe?"

Ryan looked at her with a crazed intensity she had never seen before. "You would never understand just how much Dr. Caine."

Jessica stood from the bed and walked into the master bathroom. She returned shortly with a towel and began cleaning Ryan up. Ryan looked and saw she hadn't removed the vibrator. When Jessica straddled him and reached around his back Ryan gently lifted his leg and pushed against the handle, pushing it ever so slightly further inside her. Jessica moaned as she tried to unlock Ryan's hands. When his hands were free, Ryan began touching everywhere on Jessica's body.

"My god, you're so hot!" Ryan growled. He gently bit her side and lapped at the spot with his tongue. He trailed his tongue across her abdomen and felt the faint scars. Jessica lifted his head and leaned in to kiss him. "Would you like to try?" she asked. Without further instruction Ryan gently took hold of the vibrator's handle and slowly began moving inside Jessica.

He started just gently thrusting in and out a few inches. Jessica arched her back and pressed her bare breasts against his face. He took one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked lightly. Ryan clicked a button and felt the handle vibrate lightly in his hand. He started moving faster and felt Jessica moan and her body tense. Ryan kicked up the speed and began thrusting harder.

"Oh god Ryan," Jessica moaned, "You're so amazing!"

Ryan started getting more intense as he felt his body react quickly to Jessica's pleasure. He pulled the vibrator back further and further. Soon just the tip of the toy was going in and out of Jessica. Ryan could feel his pre-cum leaking from his slit. He started spreading it down his length with his free hand. Jessica's hands were on the back of the chair and her head was thrown back as she moaned Ryan's name.

Ryan turned the vibrator off and let it drop to the floor. He quickly filled Jessica in one thrust with his leaking erection. Ryan continued to thrust and felt Jessica clench around him.

"Jessica, so hot and tight," Ryan said, unable to make full sentences.

"Oh god Ryan!" Jessica cried as her climax hit. Ryan felt his climax hit just shortly after.

They sat there panting and looking at each other. "Ryan…" Jessica started to say but she was silenced by a kiss. Ryan pulled back and looked into her eyes.

"Jess," he whispered, "We just had sex."

Jessica looked down and saw that Ryan was still buried deep within her.

"Oh my god, Ryan we just…" Her incredible blue eyes met his hazel ones. Jessica pulled him in for a jaw shattering kiss. "I can't believe we just….I mean, it's been so long….I thought we would never be able to…."

Ryan silenced her with another kiss. "I love you." Ryan whispered to her. "I always will."

"Ryan," Jessica looked at him, "Can we try again?"

A giant smile spread across Ryan's face. "Please, let's!"

Ryan stood from the chair with Jessica still impaled on his hips. He laid her out on the bed and pulled out of her. He kissed her gently and ran his hands down her body. "God, I've been horny all day!" he exclaimed, "I've wanted nothing more than to take you hard in the lab!"

"Oh trust me Ryan, I almost lost it when I saw you walking with Eric." Jessica said as he bit his way down her neck. "The way your ass looked in those jeans nearly made me cum all over the light table. I've wanted you all day!"

Ryan leaned his head between her legs and sniffed. "You smell so good," he said in a low, needy voice. He slid his tongue between the folds of skin and tasted her. Jessica spread her legs farther apart and moaned. Ryan used his hands and spread her labia apart. He flattened his tongue and ran it over every inch he could see. He lapped at her clitoris and Jessica grabbed a handful of his hair. He sucked hard on the little nub until Jessica's inner self was almost purple.

Ryan slid his tongue into her vagina and Jessica moaned louder and her grip on his hair tightened. Ryan could feel himself growing hard but wasn't ready to fulfill his needs yet. He wanted to bring Jessica the greatest pleasure he could. Ryan could taste himself within her and the mixture of tastes caused his erection to twitch again. He shoved his tongue in as far as he could reach and prodded until he found her sweet spot. Jessica's hips bucked and she grabbed handfuls of the sheets with both hands. "Ryaannnnn!" she moaned, "Please fuck me!"

Ryan ran his tongue over her sensitive area one last time. He pulled his tongue out and kissed her. Ryan easily slid into Jessica and moaned as her violet heat surrounded him. "Oh god Jessica," he growled, "You make me so hard!"

Ryan thrusted hard in and out of her, his body drenched in sweat. Jessica moaned loudly and started matching him thrust for thrust, trying to get deeper and closer. Jessica wrapped her legs around his waist and flipped him over. She started riding him roughly and leaned back on her hands. "Oh god Ryan, I've needed you for so long!" Ryan sat up and pressed Jessica's body against his. He thrusted at the awkward angle and felt his climax back off, just like he wanted.

Jessica leaned back on her hands again and Ryan did the same. Their bodies grinded together as they thrusted in their crab walk pose. Ryan could feel his orgasm start but he willed it away. He wanted to go just a little longer. The flush on Jessica's body deepened as she cried out Ryan's name.

Ryan leaned forward so he was positioned over Jessica and continued to thrust hard and fast. He was so close but it felt so far away. He slammed his pelvis against Jessica's and felt the familiar pull as Jessica tightened her kegel muscles. Ryan groaned and felt the quivering start. He practically screamed Jessica's name as his climax finally hit. Jessica's body shuddered against his and his name escaped her lips as her second climax overcame her.

They lay there together, sweating and panting, Ryan lying with his head on Jessica's chest. He could hear how hard her heart was pounding and knew his was doing the same. Jessica ran her nails through his hair and Ryan groaned at the sensation. "Please don't ask me to do that again." he mumbled, "I don't think I have the energy to even move right now."

Jessica chuckled and Ryan felt her breasts bounce against his face. "Don't worry pumpkin I wasn't going to make you do it again. Besides, I don't think my vagina could take that again."

"Still hung like a freakin horse?" Ryan asked.

"Oh god yes you are."


	13. Yeah, Sorry Boss

**The line Jesse says to Jessica in the fingerprint lab is actually something one of my guy friends said one time to me. Only I wasn't as civilized about my response as Jessica is.**

**Just a quick note- more adult themes from here on out to the end. And yes, they stay pretty raunchy. ;)  
><strong>

Thursday  
>Yeah, sorry boss<p>

Horatio and Jesse were working hard on dusting for prints on evidence when he heard something he hadn't heard in a long time. Horatio looked out the glass walls of the lab to see his daughter and Ryan Wolfe walking together, their arms wrapped around each other's waists. Jessica was smiling and laughing as she leaned her head against his arm. Ryan turned his head and kissed the top of her head. Horatio smiled and watched as they walked into the lab together.

"Well, what's gotten into the two of you?" Horatio asked.

Jessica looked at her father, pushing part of her short hair out of her face. The smile on her face was so bright and Horatio realized how much he had truly missed her smile.

"Oh we just had a little fun last night, that's all." Jessica cheerfully said.

"Oh and now what would that be?" Horatio smiled, knowing what was really going on.

Jessica couldn't help but feel her self flush and could see Ryan's ears turning red. "We kind of had sex last night." Jessica tried to stifle the shy smile on her face. She never actually felt embarrassed about talking to her father about her sexuality and her sex life, but she was feeling a bit nervous about the subject.

A smile spread across Horatio's face. "Did you really?" He didn't miss Ryan's embarrassment about the subject and could tell Jessica was actually feeling embarrassed, too.

Ryan kissed the side of Jessica's head. "As a matter of fact we did."

"How did you manage that?" Horatio was curious. The last time it had taken Jessica years before she could have sex after James had raped her.

"Hmm, well we uh…" Ryan wasn't really sure how to explain.

"We had a little help from a little something." Jessica said with a sly look on her face. "Then Ryan was sneaky and switched it out for himself. I didn't even notice and then, well, we tried again without anyone's help."

Ryan gave Jessica a surprised look. "Yes, Daddy knows about the naughty box." Jessica said, "He actually bought some of the stuff in that box, including the handcuffs we used last night and that little pink guy."

Ryan's eyes seemed to grow twice in size. "Horatio bought those things for you?" Jessica started laughing and kissed Ryan's cheek. "I love it when you feel uncomfortable, it's adorable. You didn't know Horatio had such a naughty side, did you?"

Ryan's ears burned as Horatio and Jessica laughed. Horatio walked over and wrapped his arms around Jessica's shoulders. "I love you Bug."

Jesse cleared his throat. His neck was red and a blush was forming on his cheeks.

"I see Ryan's not the only that's uncomfortable here." Jessica chuckled.

"Maybe we should get back to this evidence." Jesse said quietly, "There's a lot of stuff we need to dust here."

"That's probably a good idea." Horatio said, "Come on we'll fill you in on what's going on."

They began dusting for prints. Ryan was trying to lift prints off of a condom wrapper when a thought crossed his mind. "Shit!" he loudly declared. Everyone looked at him and Ryan felt his ears turn red.

"Is something wrong Mr. Wolfe?" Horatio asked.

"No, nothing, I just remembered something that's all." Ryan quickly said.

Jessica didn't miss the worry in his voice. "What's wrong Ryan?" she asked concerned.

"Nothing, I'll explain later." Ryan said.

"Ryan, you can tell me now."  
>"No really it can wait."<p>

"Ryan," Jessica said, snapping her glove off and grabbing his face to make him look at her, "Anything you need to tell me you can say in front of my father."  
>Ryan couldn't help but feel his eyes involuntarily dart towards Jesse. "Don't worry, I've already learned more today about you two than I ever needed to know my entire life." Jesse said sarcastically.<p>

Ryan knew Jessica wouldn't drop it until he told her. "Well I just realized last night I didn't, um, I didn't wear a condom."

Jessica chuckled and smiled at him. "Is that all? You were getting yourself all worked up over something like that? Geez, you worry too much." She released his face and started to walk back to her area of the table. Ryan pulled his glove off and grabbed the sleeve of Jessica's lab coat.

"But Jess, Alexx said you can't get pregnant right now. You're still healing and getting pregnant would delay the process and the baby might not make it."

"Ryan," Jessica carefully pulled his hand off her lab coat, "Relax, it was one time and I'm on the pill right now to make sure I don't get pregnant. Everything will be fine. I know what Alexx said and I'm making sure we'll be ok."

Ryan took a deep breathe and exhaled slowly. "I'm sorry, I'm just a little freaked out and-"

"Worrying too much?" Jessica said with a smirk. She kissed his cheek lightly. "Thank you though for worrying so much, it shows how much you care."

Jessica picked up a few samples off the table. "I'm going to take these and see what AFIS has for us, Horatio. Would you like to join me, Jesse?"

"Yes please, anything to get away from Captain Awkward here." Jesse said as he removed his gloves and followed Jessica out the door.

Ryan stood there, still feeling embarrassed and awkward about the whole conversation still.

"Is the old Jessica back?" Horatio asked, still looking at the water bottle he was trying to print.

Ryan chuckled and smiled. "Oh yeah she is."

"Did she let you breathe this time?" Horatio asked him with a sly look.

Ryan shook his head at him. "Yeah she let me up for air this time."  
>Horatio smiled at Ryan. "Mr. Wolfe, I think you're just what my daughter needed."<br>"Funny," Ryan commented, "She said the same thing last night."

"Don't push your luck."  
>"Yeah, sorry boss."<p>

* * *

><p>"Careful Jess," Jesse said, "From what I hear that stool you're sitting on is smaller than Ryan. I wouldn't want you to end up on the floor with it stuck inside you."<br>Jessica smacked him hard in the abdomen and Jesse recoiled and laughed. "You bastard, I'm never speaking to you again."

"Oh come on Jess, you know I'm just teasing."  
>"Watch yourself Cardoza, that's technically sexual harassment." Jessica said, "But since you are my best friend I'll let it slide this time."<p>

"Good because from what I hear Horatio Caine doesn't take lightly to sexual harassment or people messing with his daughter."

"You bet life fuck little buddy."

They continued to scan prints into the computer. They chatted as they watched the screen scroll through the possible suspects from the first print.

"This is boring," Jessica muttered.

"Would you rather be grading papers in Denver?" Jesse asked.

"Oh hell no! Especially with that creep I shared an office with!"

"William?"

"Yes, he was always touching me and sweet talking me. He never seemed to get the idea that I wasn't interested, even after I stapled his arm."  
>"You stapled his arm?"<p>

"Yeah, he got too close the first day so I stapled his arm. Must have hurt too, he didn't seem too pleased with my decision."

"I don't think I would be happy with you either if you stapled my arm."

"Want to test that hypothesis?" Jessica asked, picking up a stapler.

"No way in hell." Jesse chuckled.

* * *

><p>It had been a long day at the lab again. Ryan was exhausted and was on his way home. His case had closed early and Horatio had given him permission to go home early, offering to drop Jessica off at his apartment. Ryan pulled into the parking lot and grabbed the bags from the Chinese restaurant. Jessica had called him and said she should be home soon so Ryan ordered take out and went into town to pick it up. He walked the short distance to his door and found it unlocked. He guessed Jessica was already there.<p>

Sure enough when he walked through the door he found his girlfriend snoozing on the couch. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. Jessica's eyes opened slowly and she smiled at the sight of Ryan. "Hey handsome, where you been?" Ryan smiled at her and kissed her gently. "Just making dinner." Jessica chuckled. "Is that what you call it?"

Ryan pulled Jessica from the couch and kissed her. "I love you," Jessica said. Ryan smiled and kissed her again. "I love you, too."

They ate their food in Ryan's kitchen and discussed their cases. Jessica made coffee and Ryan looked at her apprehensively. "Coffee, at this hour?"

Jessica smiled at him and poured them each a cup. "Well, I have a surprise for you and I don't know about you but I'm exhausted, I could use a pick me up."

Ryan looked at her questioningly. "You have a surprise?"

Jessica smirked. "As a matter of fact I do. And I think you're going to like it." Ryan smiled at her and drank his coffee. "Don't worry," Jessica said, "I didn't make it very strong."

They cleaned up the kitchen and Jessica pulled Ryan into her arms. She planted a searing kiss on his lips and palmed him through his pants. Ryan chuckled and moaned as she bit his neck. "I think I like where this is going already." Jessica kissed him again. "Good, then follow me."

She led him upstairs to his bedroom. Jessica pushed Ryan onto the bed and kissed him. She stood from the bed and walked towards the bathroom. "I'll be right back." She said seductively, "Don't start without me."

Ryan felt his erection grow and he pulled his shirt and pants off. He laid in the middle of the bed in just his tented boxers. He waited a few minutes and then the bathroom door opened.

Jessica stood in the doorway wearing a red satin teddy. It flowed against her body and stopped just at her hips. She was wearing a tiny matching red thong. Ryan felt the blood rush to his groin and the evidence of his excitement was apparent.

Jessica smiled and sauntered over to him. She crawled on top of him and rubbed her body against his. Ryan moaned and rubbed his hips against her body. His erection rubbed against her ass and Jessica felt herself grow wet with anticipation.

"You like?" she teased.

"Oh so very much," Ryan groaned.

Jessica slid down his body and sat between his legs. She pulled his boxers off and gently stroked his erection. Ryan moaned and his eyes rolled back into his head. "God you drive me crazy."

"You want to see the rest of your surprise?" Jessica asked.

"There's more?" Ryan asked eagerly.

"Of course," Jessica said. She reached into the bra of the teddy and pulled out a condom. It was red and the wrapper was shiny. Ryan lifted his eyebrows and smiled. "What kind is that?" Jessica leaned in close and whispered into his ear. "Warm and tingling," she whispered, her lips brushing against his ear. A delicious shiver ran down Ryan's spine and he arched his back.

Jessica crawled back between Ryan's legs. She ripped the condom open with her teeth and rolled it down Ryan's length, licking her lips and never breaking eye contact. Ryan pulled Jessica against his body and switched positions with her. He slid his fingers under the straps of her thong and slowly pulled it down. He sniffed it momentarily before dropping it off the side of the bed. He ran his hands under the teddy but then placed them on either side of her head. "I think you should keep it on." he whispered, "It's sexy, just like you."

Ryan's hands slid up Jessica's thighs. He guided his member into Jessica. She moaned and arched her back. It took a moment but then Jessica felt a sudden warmth spread through out her.

"Oh god Ryan, do you feel that?"

"Oh damn, yes!" Ryan made a different sound, a needy, throaty sound. "Oh god, here comes the tingle!"

Jessica and Ryan started moving together. They discovered the faster they moved the more the warming and tingling was activated. Ryan thrusted hard and panted. He felt sweat form across his body and he bit Jessica's neck. She was thrusting against Ryan, moaning his name again and again. Jessica felt her body tense and every nerve in her body come alive. She arched her back and cried out. Ryan felt Jessica clench tighter around him as his climax hit.

They stared into each others eyes for a moment, breathing hard. "Damn," Ryan muttered, "That was so fucking good."

"Want to go again?" Jessica asked.

"You fucking better believe it!"

Ryan jumped from the bed and discarded the condom in the trash. "Where are the rest?"

"Nightstand," Jessica said, pulling the sweaty teddy off. "Uh, sorry that felt kind of gross."  
>"That's fine," Ryan hastily said, rolling the condom on. Ryan sprang onto the bed and caught Jessica across the middle of it. He slid right in and started thrusting hard and fast again. The warming and tingling spread across his tight flesh and he moaned loudly. Jessica was caught by surprise but wrapped her legs around his waist. She pushed her body as close to his as she possibly could. It felt like forever but they finally climaxed together again.<p>

Ryan pulled out and dropped the second condom into the trash. He looked at Jessica's eyes. They were dark with lust. She licked her lips and crawled towards him on the bed. Ryan felt the blood rush to his groin again as his member came to life once again. "Thank god for coffee." He muttered as he rolled a third condom on.

It seemed every time felt more and more amazing. Ryan couldn't seem to move fast enough and Jessica just wanted him to go deeper. Their bodies worked together to create the most incredible friction possible. Jessica flipped Ryan onto his back and rode him quickly. It didn't take as long this time for Jessica to cry out Ryan's name and he followed closely behind.

Ryan climbed from the bed again and discarded the third condom. Jessica grabbed him and pulled him onto her as she worked her tongue around the inside of his mouth. "One more time?" she mumbled between kisses. "I think that's all I got left in me." Ryan responded.

Jessica grabbed a condom and rolled it down Ryan's length. She quickly impaled herself and started moving on top of him hard and fast. Ryan thrusted his hips against hers and moaned loudly. He heard something that distracted him for a moment but then his focus was back on Jessica. Then the sound was louder and it pulled Ryan's attention away again.

Suddenly they were slammed downward hard. Jessica grunted as Ryan's member shoved harder and farther into her because of the impact and Ryan groaned against the sensation. There was a loud cracking noise and the mattress started to slide towards the foot of the bed. There was another loud crack and the mattress leveled out. Jessica felt Ryan jolt within her and felt her own orgasm commence.

They sat there for a moment, not daring to move. Ryan sat up and held Jessica gently against him. They looked around the room and took in the site before them.  
>"Damn," Ryan quietly said, "We broke my bed."<p> 


	14. You Did What?

Friday  
>You did what?<p>

Ryan walked into the layout room with Jesse and found Horatio and Eric there. "Hey Ry," Eric said, "It looks like Jesse and Horatio's break in case crosses over into our floater case."

"Does it really?" Ryan said, stifling a yawn and taking a long drink of his coffee.

"Little tired there Ryan?" Jesse asked, "What were you doing last night?"

"Lay off man, I'm tired, I'm sore, and I had to sleep on my couch last night."

"You slept on the couch?" Eric asked, "What did you do to piss Jessica off?"

Ryan shifted uneasily. "Nothing, she slept with me."

"Did you guys get tired afterwards or something?"

"No, we didn't have sex on my couch. I just have to buy a new bed, that's all."  
>"What happened to yours?" Jesse asked.<p>

"Nothing, let's just get to work."  
>"Ryan what did you and Jessica do?" Eric persisted, "Last I knew there was nothing wrong with your bed."<p>

"Fine, you want to know?" Ryan said, getting annoyed, "We broke my bed, ok? Things got a little crazy last night and my bed broke."

Eric and Jesse burst into laughter. "Oh damn!" Eric exclaimed, "You guys broke your bed? Things must have been extremely wild!"

Ryan's ears burned and he busied himself pulling on a pair of gloves. "Just drop it, ok?"

"Sorry man," Eric said, "I've heard of these kinds of things but I didn't think it was possible!"

"Well I didn't either and now I have to buy a new bed." Ryan said, "It's a little frustrating."

"You know Mr. Wolfe," Horatio said, "There's an easier solution than buying a new bed."  
>Ryan looked at Horatio tentatively. "What do you mean H?"<p>

"Let me see your keys." Horatio said. Ryan looked at him questionably but pulled out his keys and handed them to Horatio. Horatio looked through his keys and selected one. He held it between his forefinger and thumb. Ryan looked at it. It was the spare key to Jessica's condo she had given him. Ryan shook his head. "I can't H."

"Is something wrong Mr. Wolfe?" Horatio asked him, handing back his keys.

Ryan sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I'm not ready."

"Mr. Wolfe, haven't you more or less been living with my daughter in her condo already?"

"Yes, but we don't always-"

"Then why don't you just make the move." Horatio said. He leaned towards Ryan. "Mr. Wolfe I am telling you just sell your apartment and move in with Jessica."  
>"I can't."<br>"Why not?" Horatio asked calmly.

"Because I'm scared!" Ryan exclaimed. He stood there looking at Horatio, his eyes huge with fear. "I'm scared to move in with Jessica because I'm afraid of what will happen if we do live together. Yes we're always together as it is but moving in together is such a permanent thing. I'm afraid of what our relationship will become if I move in with her. I'm scared of what we could become."

"You mean married?" Horatio proposed. The color drained from Ryan's face and he looked terrified. "Mr. Wolfe are you afraid that some day you might marry my daughter?"

"I'm afraid of… I don't even really know." Ryan stammered, "It's just all the times…"  
>"Because you've asked too many times before?"<p>

Ryan sighed and nodded his head. "Yeah, I'm scared."

Horatio patted Ryan on the shoulder. "When you're ready Mr. Wolfe." Horatio returned to his work and Ryan looked down at the various crime scene photographs spread out on the table. The room was silent for awhile, no one really wanting to speak after that conversation.

"If it makes you feel any better Mr. Wolfe," Horatio said, "Jessabelle and I broke my bed twice…while we were at the academy. It was a rather interesting conversation to have with the Lieutenant."

Eric and Jesse started laughing uncontrollable until tears streamed down their faces. Ryan rolled his eyes and smiled at Horatio. "Like father like daughter."

* * *

><p>Jessica stretched and rubbed her neck. She had been staring through the microscope for hours comparing bullet striations. Calleigh was back logged and they were still trying to piece together the seventeen deaths on the boat. Jessica was trying to figure out which bullet was shot from which gun.<p>

Horatio walked into the ballistics lab and Jessica smiled at her father. "Hey there Big Daddy, how you doing?" Horatio chuckled and smiled at his daughter. "Hey Bug, just checking to see how things are going with you."  
>"I'm doing good. Kind of tired of looking at bullets but I'm pretty good."<br>"Jessica, I wanted to ask you something." Horatio said, walking up next to her. "Jess, Ryan told me about his bed."  
>"Oh god" Jessica laughed, rolling her eyes. "What did he tell you?"<p>

"Well he said you two got a little crazy and his bed broke and now he has to buy a new one."  
>"Yeah that seemed like a logical choice. I told him I would help pay for it though, since, you know, I helped."<p>

Horatio chuckled. "Bug don't you think there's a simpler solution?"  
>Jessica turned and looked at Horatio. He had seen that look on her face before. It was a stern look, all business no play. The same one he had used on her a thousand times as a kid.<p>

"Don't you think I've considered that option?" She said to him.

"I think you have and I'm surprised you haven't acted on it yet."

"I've considered it, many times."  
>"Why haven't you asked him? You asked him to marry you three months ago, why not ask this question?"<p>

Jessica stepped back and crossed her arms. "That was different Dad. I didn't mean it when I asked him."  
>"I think you did." Horatio said, "You tell me you're crazy for Ryan, you're together every minute of the day, I don't understand how this doesn't make sense to you. Jessica, just ask him to move in with you."<p>

"No Dad, I'm not going to." Jessica said looking back into the microscope.

Horatio stepped closer to her. He was so close Jessica could feel his breath on her cheek. "Jessica, don't make the mistake I did. Don't let the one get away. You don't want to live a life of regret like I have."

Jessica shook her head. "I'm working Horatio."  
>"Please Jessica, just listen to me."<br>"No, I've listened enough Horatio. I have work to do."

Horatio sighed and shook his head. "Sometimes you're still that stubborn little girl."  
>"And sometimes you're still that overprotective Chicago Office."<p>

* * *

><p>Ryan and Eric chatted on their way to the locker room. Eric was still giving him a hard time about the broken bed. "You're just jealous," Ryan said, "I get wild crazy sex and you're stuck with your hand and a bottle of lotion."<br>"At least my bed is still intact!" Eric said, shoving Ryan playfully.

They walked into the locker to find Jessica and Calleigh talking. Jessica smiled when she saw Ryan and he walked up and pecked her on the cheek with a quiet "Hey love" before he walked towards his locker.

"Oh no you don't!" Jessica teased, pulling Ryan over to her by the waist of his pants. "You can't get away with just that."

"We're still on the clock." Ryan said, planting a kiss on her lips.

"That's better" Jessica said smugly.

They walked together through the hall holding hands. Jessica was smiling and laughing as Ryan told her about all the crap he had gotten from Eric and Jesse about the broken bed. Horatio intercepted them as they past his office. "Dr. Caine, that's awfully bold move there, holding hands in your place of work with your boyfriend who works in the same office. What will Stetler think?"

"He'll think that I'm getting married." Jessica sassed at him, "Because that's what my Daddy, who happens to be the Lieutenant, told him."

"So you're getting married now?" Horatio asked.

There was that look again. Jessica seemed to replicate Horatio's stern, displeased look perfectly. He smiled at her but she shook her head. "Remember what I said Mr. Wolfe." Horatio said as he walked away.

Jessica looked at Ryan questionable. "What did Horatio tell you?"

Ryan sighed and chewed over his words. "He kind of heard about the bed." Ryan explained as they continued their path to the front desk. "And he made his own suggestion."  
>"Let me guess," Jessica said, picking up the pen to sign out, "He suggested that you move in with me instead of buying a new bed."<p>

Ryan looked at her as he took the pen. "Yeah, he did."

They stepped into the elevator. "Do you want to?" Jessica asked him. Ryan looked at her, faking confusion. "Do what?"

"You know Ryan, move in?"

Ryan stood there looking at her, not really sure of what he wanted to say. "Jess, I don't know. It seems like such a permanent decision and I don't know if I'm ready to do that."

Jessica looked into his eyes. Ryan could see the pain. It was the same look she had given him the night at the casino after her "fake" proposal. "That's fine, whenever you're ready. I'll be waiting."

Ryan pulled her into his arms and kissed her. "I'm sorry Jessica I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just scared. I feel like this whole relationship has moved so fast and I'm not sure if I'm ready for this. Please just give me time. I have four more months on the lease on my apartment. Let me keep my place and then when the time comes we can discuss it, ok?"

Jessica smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "Ok, it's a deal." She intertwined their fingers and pulled him from the elevator. "Now come on, it's my birthday this weekend and we don't have to work."

Ryan smiled and followed her out into the parking lot. "I think I like the sounds of that."

* * *

><p>Ryan was in the kitchen of Jessica's condo, working on making dinner for her. Jessica had run to the store to pick up a few ingredients they were missing. Ryan was preparing chicken fajitas, one of his favorite things to cook for Jessica. He heard the front door click and open, and then close and lock again. He could hear a paper bag rustling, like someone was looking through it. Jessica walked into the kitchen and set the bag on the counter. She grabbed Ryan by the waist of his pants and started kissing him.<p>

"Well welcome home sexy." Ryan said between kisses. "Did you miss me that much?"

"More than you would expect." Jessica said. She took his hand and slid it down the front of her jeans and into her panties. She guided Ryan's fingers inside her and he could feel how wet she was. Jessica moaned as Ryan continued to finger her and he felt himself grow hard. "I need you Ryan," she whispered into his ear. Ryan chuckled and bit at her neck. "I thought last night would have been enough for you."

Jessica kissed along his jaw line and ran her hands over his jean clad ass. "Ryan I went two months without sex because I was terrified. Now I need to make up for all that lost time. I swear I've been in a constant state of horny for the last three days!" Jessica moaned and her body tensed as Ryan found her sweet spot. She squeezed his ass and pressed her body against his. "I need you Ryan, right here, right now!"

Ryan felt himself start to throb and ache inside his jeans. He cupped his groin and squeezed but the ache didn't subside. "Dinner can wait," he said as he smashed his lips against hers.

Ryan ran his free hand under Jessica's shirt and unhooked her bra. He felt her breasts and listened to her moan. Jessica reached into the paper bag and pulled out a box. She started to palm him through his jeans and Ryan felt his knees buckle. They sank to the ground and Ryan pulled Jessica's jeans off her body. The sight of her wet green and yellow striped thong caused a needy moan to escape his lips. "Why do these things drive me so crazy!" he declared, working his tongue around the fabric and into Jessica's vagina. "Because you're a guy," Jessica moaned as her hips bucked at the sensation of Ryan's tongue.

Jessica tore open the box she had grabbed and pulled out a strip of condoms. She pulled Ryan up and kissed him. She smirked at him as she held up the strip. "Which do you want to try big guy?" Ryan groaned and felt the throbbing resume in his pants. "You got the pleasure pack." He muttered in a low voice. He ripped off the Twisted Pleasure wrapper on the end and worked on pulling off his pants.

Jessica dropped the rest to the floor and pulled off her thong. Ryan tackled her to the ground and slid his latex covered member inside of her. Jessica gasped and moaned at the sudden intrusion and spread her legs as far as she could, allowing Ryan as much room as he needed. Ryan quickly started thrusting in and out and moaned as Jessica clenched around him.

Jessica's toes curled and it felt as if every nerve in her body was tingling. "Oh god Ryan, you're sooooooo good! Ahhhh, why did I think I could give this up?" Ryan captured her lips with his own. He threw his head back and moaned loudly as he slammed his pelvis against Jessica's. Jessica lifted her hips as she felt her orgasm start. The muscles in her thighs clenched and she tightened her kegel muscles under the impact. She came with a loud moan and Ryan followed close behind her, screaming her name.

When all was said and done they laid on the kitchen floor panting, still tangled together. Jessica's phone buzzed against the tile floor. She pulled her jeans towards her and pulled her phone from the pocket. "Dr. Caine" she said a little winded.

"Dr. Jessica," she heard Henry the doorman's voice say, "How are you?"

"I'm doing great. What's up Henry?"

"Well the residents in apartment 138 said they could hear loud voices and something sounded like it crashed. Then they heard someone scream and they were worried something might be wrong. They called me to ask for a curiosity call to make sure everything's ok."  
>Jessica chuckled and stifled a moan as Ryan pulled out of her. "Everything's fine Henry. My boyfriend's over and things got a little…heated."<br>"You're not fighting, are you?"

"Anything but Henry." Jessica smiled and winked at Ryan. He rolled his eyes as he pulled his pants back on before beginning his hand washing routine.

Henry was silent for a moment. Jessica wondered if he had figured out what she was talking about. "Well if everything's alright I'll just give Shannon and Ron a call back. I'm glad to hear everything's alright. Good night Dr. Caine, and have a great birthday this weekend."  
>Jessica smiled. "Thank you Henry."<p>

Jessica hung up her phone and continued to lay on the floor. She looked up at Ryan and smiled seductively. "Only one round tonight?"

Ryan chuckled and continued to prepare dinner. "Well if you want to have dinner tonight before its tomorrow I think one round's all you're getting right now."

"Awwww, you're no fun!" Jessica whined, pulling her panties back on.

"That's not what you said last night." Ryan said with an evil look in his eyes.

Jessica chuckled and kissed him. She picked up the box and the strip of condoms. She tucked them back into the box and set it on the counter. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed the back of Ryan's neck. "You know there are six different kinds of condoms in this box and four of each kind. I bet we could finish that box off before work on Monday."

Ryan turned and looked at her with a perplexed look on his face. "You really think we could have sex twenty-four times in two days?"

"Nope, three if you count tonight." She said, running her hands across his chest. "I think it's possible."  
>"And I think you're crazy." Ryan teased, grabbing her hand and biting at her fingers.<p>

"Well," Jessica said, pulling her hand away from his mouth. "It's my birthday so we get to do things my way."

* * *

><p>Jessica and Ryan were loading dishes into the dish washer. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pinned him against the appliance. She pushed the buttons from memory as she kissed him passionately. "I love you so much Ryan Wolfe."<br>"Jessica, can I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"While we were…you know…you said you didn't know why you thought you could give this up. What did you mean by that?"

Jessica looked at him and Ryan watched as sorrow filled her beautiful blue eyes. "We say a lot of things during sex that normally our brains would deem unwise to announce."  
>"What did you mean?"<p>

"Somehow I thought back to last week, when I left. I thought about trying to spend my life without you and I just didn't understand how I thought I could do that."

"So you mean you thought you wouldn't be able to spend your life without me because of our sex life?"

"It's more than sex Ryan, it's you. It's having you as close to me as possible. Having you buried deep inside me. Having you become a part of me even if just for a moment. It's about our souls connecting and us becoming complete once again."

She placed her hands on his cheeks and looked deep into his eyes. "When I look into your eyes I don't see just you Ryan. I see myself, somewhere, deep inside of you. You are the other half of my soul that I've been looking for my entire life. Everything happens for a reason and I know now why my past was the way it was. We were meant to be together but I couldn't find you in Illinois, Michigan, or Pennsylvania.

"I was accepted to three different schools to complete my Doctrine work; Harvard, Yale, and Miami University. I was going to go to Yale, but something kept pulling me towards Miami. I thought it was the fact that my father was in Miami and I wanted to be with him again." Jessica's hand slid down to Ryan's chest and it rested over his heart. "But it was you. You brought me here. You are the reason I'm here today. My soul knew you were here and it brought me to you. So we could be together. So we could be complete again."

Jessica gently kissed him. "I knew someday I would meet you. I just didn't know who you were or where to find you. I just knew you where here. I just had to listen to my heart and I knew I would find you."

Ryan looked into her eyes and saw the small tears forming. He gently kissed her and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you Jessica. You are the other half of my soul. I'm so glad you found me." He intertwined their fingers as he held her hand. "Come on," he said, grabbing the condom box off the counter.

Ryan led Jessica up to their bedroom. He laid her out on the bed and slowly undressed her. He removed his own clothing before he ripped a condom off the strip. Ryan carefully opened the purple Her Pleasure wrapper and rolled it down his length. He gently kissed Jessica and ran his hands through her hair.

"I want to make love to you Jessica." Ryan said, "I want to feel you around me as our souls connect and we're complete."

"Please Ryan," Jessica practically whispered, "I need to feel you inside me. I love you so much. You are my soul…"

"And without you I'm incomplete. I love you, too, Jessica."

Ryan slowly entered her and Jessica moaned against the sensation. Once Ryan was buried deep inside her he gently rocked his hips. The pace was slow and tender but neither complained. Jessica felt Ryan's heart beating inside her and felt her own match his beat.

Jessica lolled her head back and Ryan kissed at her exposed throat. "You're the most wonderful person I've ever met Jessica Caine." Ryan whispered to her, "You mean more to me than life itself."

"Ryan" Jessica said so quietly Ryan almost didn't hear her. She captured his lips with her own and kissed him passionately.

They climaxed together as their bodies shuddered against each other. They laid in the bed, just looking at each other. Ryan kissed Jessica and placed his hand on her cheek. His thumb brushed across her skin lightly and she smiled at him.

"No more times," she said. "I don't think anything could top that."

Ryan smiled and pulled her into his arms. "Anything for you my love, because it's your birthday and you can do whatever you want."


	15. I Would Have Come Back

Saturday  
>I would have come back<p>

Ryan grunted against the effort of thrusting. His muscles were sore but the spray of water across his body helped relax his tired muscles. Jessica bit at his neck and Ryan felt his knees buckle. He regained his strength and thrusted into Jessica hard, his chest pressed against hers and her back against the shower wall. He was almost there, just a few more good thrusts and he would be done. Jessica ran her nails down his back and it became his undoing. He felt himself fill the condom deep within Jessica. She cried out his name as Ryan felt her body clench tightly around him. They slid down the tile and sat on the floor. Ryan pulled out and leaned his forehead against Jessica's as he kissed her.

"Very time," Ryan panted, "Is so fucking good." He kissed her again. "How many times are we up to now?"  
>"Well there was the kitchen, then the bed last night before we went to sleep, then your two am wake up booty call, then our round about twice this morning, and now the shower. I think that's six."<br>"Damn, only a quarter of the way there."

"We'll get there, it's the weekend and we can do whatever we want." Jessica said before Ryan kissed her again. "Can we go see Daddy today?"

Ryan chuckled. "Don't tell me you thought of Horatio while we were fucking in the shower."  
>Jessica growled at him and pinched his nipples. "No you naughty boy, I just thought of it now."<p>

"Oh good," Ryan said, "Because I'm already competing with Horatio for your love."

"No you're not." Jessica said, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Daddy loves me in a different way than you. Horatio's my father and you're my soul mate." Ryan smiled and kissed her again. "I think a surprise visit to Horatio would be an excellent idea."

* * *

><p>Horatio smiled when he opened the door to find his daughter and Ryan standing on his doorstep. "Hey Bug, I wasn't expecting you." He said, hugging his daughter and kissing her cheek.<p>

"We felt a visit was in store for us." Jessica said as Horatio hugged Ryan. She smiled to herself, enjoying how close Horatio and Ryan had grown.

"What brings you guys here?" Horatio asked, leading them into the kitchen.

"Ryan wanted to see what the mysterious Lieutenant Caine looked like outside the office." Jessica playfully said. Ryan rolled his eyes and nudged her. "And this had nothing to do with just wanting to see your father when you weren't getting paid?" Ryan teased her.

Horatio chuckled as their playful banter continued. He poured iced tea into three glasses and handed one to each of them.

"I have to say H," Ryan said, "I don't think I've ever seen you wear jeans before."

Horatio chuckled as Ryan took in his apparel of dark wash jeans and a white Miami University t-shirt. "Well Mr. Wolfe I do enjoy dressing down every once in awhile."

They talked and drank their iced tea. Ryan laughed uncontrollably as Horatio told him a story about an eight year old Jessica that tried to run away from home, only to end up at Horatio's because she didn't know where else to go. "But Jessie Bug didn't want me knowing she was there. So she climbed into a tree and decided to live there. Only she was wearing a bright yellow shirt so I could see her clear as day from my house."

"When did she come down?" Ryan asked.

"When I came out and sat on my porch eating barbeque chicken. She had been up there for six hours and had forgotten that when you run away from home there's no one to cook you dinner. I think it took her only five minutes before she climbed down. She snuck around my yard, still thinking I couldn't see her. She crawled up to the plate and was about to take a piece when I looked at her. The shock oh her face and her wide green eyes was priceless."

Horatio was silent for a moment as he listened to his own words. Jessica reached over and took his hand. She squeezed it gently and smiled at him. "You always were the greatest father."

"Mr. Wolfe, would you like to see some pictures of my idiotic daughter as a child?" Horatio asked.

"Hey who you calling dumb old man?" Jessica sassed. Horatio grabbed her around the middle and hoisted her onto his shoulder. "Follow the sounds of my daughter's screams." Horatio said as he walked out of the kitchen.

"Hey! You put me down old man! This is child abuse! I'm calling Uncle Eric! He'll take care of you!" Ryan chuckled as he watched Jessica bat at Horatio's back as she hung over his shoulder. Ryan followed Horatio up the stairs and into his office.

Ryan looked around the room; he hadn't been inside this one yet. There was a desk with a laptop computer on it with a printer and scanner attached. Along one wall were several certificates. Ryan read them and smiled. "I didn't know you had your Masters in Criminology, H."

"Yup, when I started at the Illinois Police Academy I only had my associates from community college." Horatio explained, tossing Jessica onto a chair. "Sit there and stay out of trouble." He turned and stood next to Ryan. "Jessabelle inspired me to go back to school and finish my education. I completed my Bachelors of Science in Criminal Justice while working for the Chicago Police Department. Everyone said it was a stupid idea because I was already hired in. I wanted to though. I almost didn't finish my Masters. Jessabelle died as I was finishing my last semester. I almost gave up on everything in my life. Then I remembered what she always told me. She would say 'Horatio, nothing ever got accomplished sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.' I took her credo to heart and finished my thesis and got my degree. I was happy for the first time since before she died."

"I'm sorry she's gone H." Ryan said.

Horatio smiled at him and his eyes seemed to shine. "Jessabelle never believed in mourning death. She said it should be a celebration, a dedication to fulfilling your life's purpose. I asked her what her purpose had been. She kissed me and said it was to bring our daughter into this world. She hugged Izzy Bug one last time and then she slipped away from me forever. I held her in my arms and cried. I wouldn't let anyone touch her but Izzy. We sat there together in her bed as the family we always knew we should have been."

Horatio rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Brian didn't get there until almost three hours after she died. He thanked me for being with his wife and daughter when she left this world. It hurt to hear him call Izzy his daughter, it always did. About two years into her treatment Jesseabelle started calling Izzy our daughter, another secret she kept from Brian. Then Brian died and Izzy left this world shortly after him."

"Then you got me!" Jessica loudly exclaimed, tackling Horatio to the ground. They wrestled around in the limited space they had, trying to pin the other to the floor. Horatio eventually won when he started tickling Jessica. She laughed so hard she started snorting. He pulled his daughter into his arms and kissed her on the cheek. "Yes, and you've been a pain in my ass for twenty-eight years now!"  
>"Blah, blah, blah, words, words, words! You know you love me old man!"<p>

"Yes I do, with every fiber of my being!"

Ryan chuckled and helped Horatio to his feet. When Jessica held out her hands he put his foot on her chest and gently pushed her back to the floor. "You can just stay there Jess, the men are talking."

"Oh no you don't asshole!" Jessica grabbed his legs and knocked him to the floor. Ryan hit the ground with a thud and Jessica pinned him beneath her. She bit his neck and he squirmed against the sensation. Jessica pressed her body against his cock and Ryan felt himself stiffen.

Horatio chuckled at the young lovers and smiled. "Excuse me, I'll be back in a moment." He said as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Jessica started kissing Ryan with big, wet, open mouthed kisses. She fumbled with his belt before Ryan stopped her. "Jess, what are you doing?"

"It's my birthday!" she proclaimed, biting his neck again.

"Not in Horatio's house."  
>Jessica scoffed and looked at him. "Why do you think he left?"<p>

"I don't know."  
>"Because he knew where this was going. Now if we don't get started now he might walk in on us." Jessica pulled Ryan's pants open and leapt off him. She pushed everything on the desk back and moved the laptop to the chair. She sat on the desk and spread her legs far apart so Ryan could see she had already pulled her skimpy thong to the side under her short dress. "Come on Ryan, haven't you always wanted to fuck someone on your boss's desk?"<p>

Ryan felt his erection grow and he pounced on her. Jessica pulled a condom from her bra and rolled it down Ryan's length as he dropped his pants around his ankles. Ryan entered Jessica quickly and roughly and started thrusting hard. Jessica moaned and threw her head back in pleasure. "Oh god Ryan, you're always so hard!" Jessica gasped as he hit her sweet spot hard. "Right there! Do that again! Please faster!"

Ryan complied and thrusted faster. He felt amazing, the combination of Jessica's tight heat and the anxiety of getting caught by his boss having sex on his desk with his daughter caused Ryan's climax to approach quickly. "Not going to last much longer Jess."  
>"That's fine, me either!" Jessica said as she cried out Ryan's name.<p>

A knock on the door became Ryan's undoing. He felt his release hit and quickly fill the condom. He pulled out and discarded the condom in the trash. He pulled his pants back on as Jessica ran to answer the door. Horatio stood on the other side with their glasses of iced tea. He smiled at Ryan as he handed him a glasses. "I don't know about you two but I was thirsty."  
>"Thanks H" Ryan said, quickly drinking half the glass.<p>

"Dry mouth?" Horatio asked with a lift of his brows.

Ryan chuckled and shook his head. "I guess you could say that."

They continued to talk and Horatio gave Jessica her birthday present. She unwrapped it to find a small black box. When she opened it she found a gold plated trumpet mouthpiece inside. She smiled at her father and hugged him. "I thought you would never buy it for me after that night."  
>Horatio held her and kissed her cheek. "You're my baby girl, I could never hate you. I know its a few years late, fourteen to be exact, but I thought you would still like to have it."<br>Jessica smiled and kissed his cheek. "I love you Daddy."  
>"I love you, too, Jessie Bug."<p>

After awhile Jessica and Ryan left Horatio's house. He hugged them both as they said their good-byes and told Jessica to have a great birthday. They had barely left Horatio's driveway when Ryan's phone chirped. He looked to see a text from Horatio.

'Mr. Wolfe might I suggest that next you have a quickie with my daughter in my office you throw the condom away in another room if you're trying to hide the fact.'

'Damn, you figured it out.'

'Actually Jessica's moans and the sound of the desk banging against the wall gave it away. Nice try though.'

* * *

><p>It was all knees and legs in the backseat of Jessica's Audi. They couldn't seem to figure out how to position in the tight space.<p>

"Why do cars always seem smaller when you're trying to have sex?" Ryan asked as he tried entering Jessica from a different angle.

"I don't know, but it's a real pain in the ass." Jessica said, "Maybe we should have asked Dad how he and Mom did it in the cruiser."  
>Ryan laughed and kissed Jessica. "You really want to know how your parents had sex?"<p>

"A few pointers on backseat fucking would be nice." Jessica rolled onto her stomach and propped herself up with one knee on the seat and her other foot planted on the floor of the car. Ryan draped his body over hers and kissed the back of her neck. "I love you" he whispered into her ear. Jessica didn't get the chance to respond because Ryan entered her from behind.

He was big and hard and the throbbing was intense. Jessica didn't care much for doggie style because she preferred to be able to see Ryan's face when they were doing the deed, but she had to admit she loved the surprise sensations. She couldn't see him and what his next move would be, but Ryan's moans were like music to her ears.

Ryan started thrusting hard and Jessica gasped as he hit her sweet spot. Ryan grunted under the effort; he wanted to bring Jessica intense pleasure but he had such a small space to work with. Ryan reached his hands under Jessica's dress and into her bra. He teased her nipples with his fingers and Jessica moaned and pressed against him.

Ryan bit Jessica's neck and Jessica moaned and arched her back. Ryan felt a warm moisture drip over his balls as Jessica hit her release. His eyes rolled back and a guttural noise escaped his lips as he climaxed. Ryan laid with his body covering Jessica's. He bit her neck again and laved over the spot with his tongue. _"__Mine__"_ he thought as he looked at the spot where a bruise was sure to form.

Ryan carefully pulled out of Jessica. He sat on the seat next to her as she straightened herself back up. He pulled the condom off and looked around the car. "Just leave it on the floor." Jessica panted, "We can throw it away when we get home."

"_Home,__"_ Ryan thought, _"__We __always __say __home.__"_ Ryan held Jessica's hand and looked at the ring on her finger. Maybe Horatio was right, maybe it was time he made the move. Ryan kissed the back of Jessica's hand and looked into her eyes. "I love you" he said to her. Jessica smiled and Ryan felt her thumb graze over the back of his hand. "I love you, too. What are you thinking about?"

Ryan sighed and looked back at her hand. "About us and Horatio's advice."

Jessica squeezed his hand and scooted towards him. "What do you want Ryan?"

"I want to be with you because I love you Jessica, but this relationship has moved so fast. I'm not complaining at all, I promise, but I've also never felt this way about anyone else before. We've had so much happen in just the last nine months that I never thought I would do. We had sex on out first date, which I swore to myself I would never do because didn't want to come off as a whore, we said I love you within four months, we cook together, we live together, we work together, and we were going to start a family. I feel like it's been nine years, not nine months. It scares me. Then when you left I thought it was all over. I didn't want to live without you but I tried and I did it and I was rewarded with you coming back to me."

Ryan leaned his forehead against hers. "One night at Horatio's house I asked him why he was taking care of me. He said it was because he cared about me. I told him he shouldn't because I'm not his son." Ryan paused for a moment as he felt himself choke on his words. "He said I might not have been his son but he thought I was going to be."

Jessica looked into Ryan's eyes. He had told her all about his week without her and she had done the same. Ryan hadn't told her about Horatio saying he thought Ryan was going to become his son. Jessica pulled Ryan into her arms and he nuzzled his face against her neck. He kissed her neck softly and Jessica felt the small tears run down his face.

"Do you want to become Horatio's son?" Jessica quietly asked him. Ryan was silent. He didn't move, Jessica felt his hands rest on her hips. "We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to." Jessica quietly told him, stroking his hair. "We can go back to my place instead and have some lunch."

"No," Ryan said, "I want to talk." He lifted his head and looked at Jessica. "When I think of the future I see you. I see you and our children. I see us living together in a house on Stone Cove that we built ourselves. I see us working together at the Crime Lab until we're so old they kick us out. I'm positive I want to be with you Jessica for the rest of my life." He held her hand and ran his fingers over the ring. "I'm just not ready to make that promise though. I'm scared and I don't know why. Please Jess, I need time. I know it sounds cliché to say this but it's not you, it's me. I'm scared and I don't think I'm ready for the next step."

Jessica placed her hand on the back of his neck and brought his lips to hers. She looked deep into his eyes and Ryan felt her penetrate his soul. "Do you see a dog in your future?"

Ryan chuckled and stroked his fingers across her cheek. "Yeah, I see a dog."

Jessica smiled and kissed him again. "Good because I don't like cats." She ran her hand along his bare legs. She looked at him with a sly smile on her face. "You want to know something? For a second there I thought you were going to propose and the first thought that came to my mind was 'I wish he would put his pants back on for this.' I don't know why that's what I thought of, but apparently that's what's important to me."  
>Ryan laughed and pulled her against his body. "I promise Jessica when I'm ready I'll be wearing pants." Jessica smiled and kissed him. "Good" she whispered.<p>

* * *

><p>Jessica felt like her muscles were melting away as she submerged herself in the hot bath water. The wonderfully sweet scent of cherry blossoms tickled her nose and she lolled her head to the side. Her bathtub was so deep and she loved it. Horatio had bought her the same one he had in his house. Jessica pushed a button and sighed when the jets turned on low. The bath oil bubbled and Jessica felt herself completely relax for the first time in years.<p>

Jessica soaked in the water alone while Ryan prepared dinner. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, enjoying the alone time. She'd been in the water for about thirty minutes when she heard the door click. Jessica turned to see a fully naked and aroused Ryan walking into the bathroom. He walked over to the bath and leaned across to her. He kissed her gently and smiled.  
>"You mind if I join you?" he whispered. Jessica smiled and shifted in the bath. "I would be insulted if you didn't."<p>

Ryan slid into the water with her and sat at the opposite end of the tub. He set a condom and a bottle of silicone lube on the edge and smiled seductively at her. "Just in case" he said. Jessica smiled and moved over to him. She sat on his lap and kissed him passionately. Ryan trailed kisses down her neck and onto her collarbone. He kissed the bruise he had left there earlier and smiled to himself.

"How are you so hard already?" Jessica asked him.

Ryan smiled and kissed her again. "I think of you and its all downhill from there."  
>"Ha ha, don't you mean up?"<p>

Ryan chuckled and picked up the lube. He poured some onto his fingers and Jessica smiled, knowing exactly where he was going. Ryan slid his fingers into Jessica. She moaned quietly as he gently caressed her clitoris. Ryan entered her with one finger and slowly moved in and out. He kissed her and slid his tongue into her mouth. "Do you want to?" he asked when their kiss ended. Jessica smiled and kissed the end of his nose. "What makes you think I don't?" Ryan shrugged his shoulders. "I just wanted to be sure you're not getting too tired or sore, that's all." Jessica smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for being so concerned." She leaned in close to his ear and nibbled at his earlobe. "Now suit up."

Jessica floated off his lap and Ryan sat up on the edge of the tub. He applied a little lube and then rolled the condom down. When he was certain it was secure he applied a generous amount of lube to the condom and slid back into the water. Jessica sat on his thighs while Ryan ran his hands across her body. He slowly entered her. Jessica moaned softly at the feeling of being weightless with Ryan throbbing hard inside her. Jessica kissed him gently and smiled. "You're so big but you're so gently at the same time." Ryan smiled and ran his hand through her hair. "I would never want to hurt you love." Ryan said as he began to rock his hips.

Jessica found it awkward trying to ride Ryan in the bath water. They didn't have much space and even just the smallest lift of her body almost sent her floating away. It was slow and gentle. Jessica smiled and leaned her forehead against Ryan's. She looked into his eyes and stroked his cheek.  
>"What are you smiling about?" he asked her.<br>"You're so amazing. You always seem to know just what I want. You're the greatest man in the world Ryan Wolfe."  
>Ryan smiled and gave her a few more good thrusts. Jessica moaned softly as her orgasm quietly settled over her. Ryan came with a soft gasp and captured Jessica's lips with his own.<p>

They sat there for a moment, not speaking. Jessica smiled and ran the back of her fingers across his cheek. "I love you Ryan Wolfe." Ryan smiled and kissed her nose. "And I love you Jessica Caine. But I have to ask, can I please get out now?"

Jessica chuckled. "But I like the way you feel inside me, even if we're not having sex. I like the feeling of being fully. I feel complete with you."

Ryan smiled and kissed her gently. "I like the feeling of being inside you too, but Jess it kind of starts the hurt once the erection is gone."  
>"Sorry" Jessica said. She floated upwards and Ryan pulled out. He sighed in relief as he pulled the condom off and dropped it to the floor. He sunk down into the bath water and Jessica cuddled up onto his chest with her head resting on his shoulder. "Oh Jessica Caine, you drive me crazy sometimes."<br>"Why are you calling me Caine now?" Jessica quietly asked as she drew non-sequential patterns on his chest.  
>"You said you didn't want to be Jessica Stone because you never could be so I thought you wanted to be Dr. Caine now, since that's how I've heard you answer your phone and sign paperwork off with. Do you want me to stop?"<p>

Jessica smiled and nuzzled her face into his neck. "No, you're right. I'm not Jessica Stone. Jessica Stone was my mother. I'm Jessica Caine."  
>"Is Stone part of your name?"<p>

"Yes, it's my second middle name. I wanted to be my mother so bad but I didn't want her full name."  
>"Is that why your middle name is Elizabeth instead of Renee?"<br>"Yes, so I would be different from her…and so I would never forget who I used to be."  
>Ryan pulled her face up to his and kissed her gently. "My middle name wasn't always David."<p>

"What was it before?"

"Arnold, my father's name."  
>Jessica looked deep into his hazel eyes. "You didn't want anything about you to be the same as him, did you?"<p>

Ryan shook his head. "I decided I wanted to change it to David, my Uncle's middle name. When I graduated high school I filled out the form for my diploma with David instead of Arnold. Shortly after that I legally changed it. Uncle Ron wouldn't change it for me. He said his brother gave me my name and I needed to respect it. He also told me though that when I turned eighteen there was nothing he could do about any of my decisions." Ryan smiled at her. "He was honored though with my choice."  
>Jessica kissed Ryan again and nuzzled her face against his neck. "Why does it seem that everyday I learn something new about you?"<p>

Ryan smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Because if I told you everything about me all at once I might have scared you off."  
>Jessica chuckled and ran her fingers over his chest. "Well I think if I told you everything about me all at once you would have moved to England just to get away from me."<br>Ryan pulled her closer and nuzzled his face into her hair. "I would have come back though."

* * *

><p>Jessica smiled and watched Ryan serve her a steaming bowl of chili. He stole a kiss before he went back to the counter to grab a plate of cornbread.<br>"I wondered how you were making dinner and sexing it up with me in the bath at the same time."  
>Ryan chuckled and kissed her again. "I have mad ninja skills."<br>"I bet mine are better." Jessica teased.

"Oh yeah, what makes you say that?" Ryan played along.

"My father is Horatio Caine. Enough. Said."

"Touché Dr. Caine, touché."

They are their dinner and Ryan told Jessica about his Uncle Ron's recipe for chili that he had used. "He entered it in a chili contest one time. I know, sounds so red neck." He chuckled when Jessica gave him a questioning look. "Uncle Ron always said 'When life gives you lemons just take them and don't ask questions.'

"So a chili contest opens up in Daytona of all places and he loads me and Rachael into his car with all his chili supplies and we take a road trip to Daytona for this chili contest. Uncle Ron thinks this is his golden opportunity to hit it big, and by big I mean first prize was $5,000, but this was in 1987 so that was a pretty good amount of money.

"So Uncle Ron's making his five second blister chili, not the same as this one, and he thinks maybe if he adds a few extra jalapeños it'll make it even better. So he throws in seventeen more jalapeños. He didn't get the chance to taste it for himself but he figures it will be good enough. It was so spicy the judges all got sick. One couldn't stop throwing up, another was downing milk like there was no tomorrow, and the other had an allergic reaction because he was allergic to jalapeños and had to be rushed to the hospital.

"Needless to say Uncle Ron did not win and in fact we were asked to leave. I think they called in the DEA to dispose of his chili too."

Jessica laughed at Ryan's story and he smiled at her. "Your Uncle Ron has to be the craziest man I've ever met."  
>"Yeah, living with him was quite the adventure, never a dull moment. I think everyone was relieved when Rachael and I didn't turn out like him."<br>Jessica smiled and reached across the table to hold his hand. "I'm glad you didn't, your strange OCD habits is one of the things that I like about you."  
>Ryan chuckled and held her hand, brushing his thumb across her ring. "You just like having a clean condo to come home to."<p>

They cleaned up the kitchen together, Ryan still telling stories about mishaps with his uncle's chili escapades. They wandered into the living room and cuddled up on the couch together. Jessica kissed Ryan's neck and drew non-sequential patterns on his chest again.  
>"How many times are we up to now?" Jessica asked.<p>

"After the bath, ten I think." Ryan answered, recounting. "Nope, eleven, I forgot about the quickie after we toweled off. Why, did you want to go again?"

Jessica shook her head. "No, I was just wondering. I just want to be with you right now."

Ryan smiled and held her tightly in his arms. "I love you so much Jessica. I know I keep saying it but I really mean it."

Jessica smiled against his neck. "I love you, too, Ryan. You're the first man that I've ever felt completely safe with."


	16. Beautiful, Just Like You

**This is another chapter that after I wrote it I was kind of like "That was a little strange..."**

Sunday  
>Beautiful, just like you<p>

Ryan panted with effort. He felt like his chest was going to explode as he tried to keep up with Jessica. She was thirty feet ahead of him as they ran down the beach coast. Jessica looked back over her shoulder and jogged in place as Ryan ran towards her. She started running backwards still eight feet in front of him.  
>"Come on Ryan!" she yelled to him, "We're almost there!"<p>

"Slow down Jess, I'm not as young as you. Five years is a lot of time when it comes to running."

"Not true, for the next three months you're only four years older than me and four is less than five! Now run!" Jessica turned and ran down the beach boardwalk. Ryan groaned and rolled his eyes. He picked up his pace as much as he could.

Ryan had woken up to Jessica kissing his neck. He groaned when she told him it was only five in the morning. "Jess we don't even wake up this early for work." He had said running his hands across her back. "But it's my birthday and I want to see the sunrise." Jessica jumped from the bed and started changing her clothes.  
>"Who's driving?" Ryan asked pulling himself out of their bed.<br>"No one" Jessica playfully said, tossing him a pair of his basketball shorts. Ryan groaned and just let the shorts hit him and fall to the ground. "But I don't want to run!"  
>"Get dressed and run or no sex today!"<br>Ryan grumbled and pulled off his pajama pants. "I thought it was your idea to use all the condoms."  
>"You haven't been arguing this whole time." Jessica said pulling her sports bra up, flaunting her bare breasts. "You know you want me." Jessica sang, pushing her breasts together and shaking them. Ryan groaned and pulled on his shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt Jessica threw at him.<p>

Ryan pushed himself to catch up to Jessica. He knew he wasn't going to be able to actually match her pace but he tried. He pushed himself as hard as he could, because he didn't want to loose her again.

Jessica ran quickly. Her muscles ached to go faster, like she had in Denver, but she didn't want to loose Ryan on the trail. She looked over her shoulder and laughed as the red faced Ryan panting behind her. Jessica looked back forward and smiled as she saw her destination coming into view. She pushed herself and took off full speed towards the edge of the cliff off the boardwalk.

Ryan groaned as he watched Jessica speed off the boardwalk. He turned off and followed in Jessica's path. Ryan felt his heart stop as he looked at the shot that came into view.

Jessica stood with her back to Ryan at the edge of the cliff, the ocean in front of her. The sun was just breeching the horizon and its rays streamed out across the sky and onto the ocean. The blue of the water was brilliant and the amber of the sky glowed. Ryan slowed to a walk and stopped next to Jessica. He looked across the horizon and tried to take it all in. Jessica slipped her hand into Ryan's and he squeezed it gently.  
>"It's incredible" Ryan practically whispered.<p>

Jessica kissed his cheek. "I knew you would like it."

Ryan wrapped his arms around Jessica's shoulders and kissed her head. "I'm officially not upset anymore that you woke me up."

Jessica chuckled and wrapped her arms around him. "Do you like the view?"

"Yeah, it's amazing." Ryan said, still dazed.

"Good because you can wake up to this every morning if you want."

Ryan looked at her confused. "You want to go running every morning?" he asked anxiously.

"Not necessarily." Jessica pulled him over to the right. "It wouldn't be from up here, rather down there." Jessica pointed to the beach below the cliff. It was surrounded by the cliff and there was a stone path that lead down to the beach. Ryan smiled and pulled her closer. "Stone Cove" Ryan quietly said. "Yeah" Jessica responded.

Ryan looked back at the sun. "Happy Birthday Jess" he whispered into her ear. Jessica smiled and kissed Ryan. He looked into her eyes and saw the small tears form. He brushed one off her cheek as it escaped her eye. Jessica looked out into the ocean and at the sun.

"Happy Birthday Momma" she said quietly.

* * *

><p>Ryan grunted as his release hit. He looked up at Jessica's body sitting on top of his. The sweat was pouring from her body and she looked winded. She pulled herself off of him and snapped the condom off as she laid down in the bed next to him. Ryan pulled Jessica onto his chest and kissed her head.<br>"Jessica Caine, I swear someday you are going to cause me to have a heart attack."

"What, running for ninety minutes and then having mind blowing sex twice in one morning too much for you?" Jessica patted his chest. "We gotta work on your cardio young man! You've been spoiled working in the lab so much, just standing around all day waiting for your results."

"Are you saying I'm out of shape?"

"No, I'm saying you don't do as much physical work in the crime lab as you did on patrol." Jessica slid down Ryan's body. She started sucking on his cock and Ryan moaned. "Now come on," she said, pulling him from her mouth, "I want to go again."  
>"What will that bring our total up to?"<p>

"Well after last night on the couch and then our go around twice this morning at one and the two times we just finished this will make seventeen."

"Oh dear god, I didn't think it was possible to have sex that many times in three days. I don't think I have any sperm left in me."  
>Jessica laughed and kissed him roughly. "Yeah you probably ran out after number eleven, but just in case." Jessica pulled out a condom and started rolling it down Ryan's length.<p>

"Jessica Caine what have to done to me?" Ryan sarcastically asked as he flipped her over and switched positions. "My turn to pick." He growled in her ear as he entered her from behind.

* * *

><p>Jessica and Ryan walked back into their bedroom and began toweling off after their shower. Jessica just stood and looked at Ryan for a moment and ran her hands over his damp skin. She leaned up and kissed him.<br>"All mine," she said, "You belong to me and no one can take you away."  
>"Why would I want anyone to take me away? I love you too much."<br>Jessica smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "How in the world did I manage to get the perfect guy? You're so thoughtful and considerate and you're just so amazing."

Ryan tangled his fingers in her hair and brought her face to his in a steamy kiss. "Because you stole my heart and you can't live without your heart."

Jessica smiled against his lips and kissed him one last time. "Time to put on some clothes."  
>"Awww but I like being naked with you." Ryan teased, biting at her neck.<p>

"Well too bad, I have to admit I'm getting sore so we need to take a break for a little while. Now," Jessica said as she searched through his clothes. "I want you to wear these jeans and this t-shirt." She threw the clothes at him. Ryan let them hit him and fall to the ground. Jessica chuckled at him and gave him a stern look. "Ryan, am I going to have to dress you myself?"  
>"Yes" Ryan said with a pouty face.<br>"Too bad, now get dressed."  
>"Do I get undies?" A pair of boxers came flying at him and landed on his head, draping over his face. "Thanks" he said through the fabric.<p>

Jessica chuckled and pulled on her own clothes. Ryan looked at her and felt his heart pound. Jessica was wearing a pair of low cut, snug, dark wash jeans that hugged her curves nicely. She pulled on the turquoise sleeveless tunic she had worn the day after they met up at Mack's Shack.

Ryan smiled and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her forehead and buried his face into her hair. He ran his hands down her backside and cupped her ass in his hands. Jessica sighed and slid her hand between them and started palming him through his pants. Ryan moaned and lolled his head back.  
>"How are you still horny?" Jessica asked.<br>"I don't know." Ryan moaned, "I didn't think it would be possible."  
>Jessica chuckled and held his hand. "Come on" she said, pulling him down the hall.<p>

They walked into Jessica's studio and she pulled him into the center of the black back drop. She held up her hands and intertwined their fingers and leaned them against Ryan's chest. Jessica leaned over and kissed Ryan. They rested their foreheads together and Ryan looked into her eyes before he kissed her again.

Jessica slid her hands beneath Ryan's shirt and pulled it off over his head. She trailed kisses down his chest and knelt to the ground. She reached up and took his hands and pulled him to the ground. Ryan laid down and Jessica crawled on top of him. She kissed him and ran her hands over his chest and abs. She ran her hands through his hair and Ryan opened his mouth under Jessica's. He moaned under Jessica's touch and felt himself grow harder.

Jessica stood up and looked at him. She unzipped her pants and slowly dropped them to the floor. She pulled off her panties and tossed them aside. Ryan smiled and unzipped his pants and slid them down his thighs. He planted his feet flat on the floor with his knees bent and propped himself up on his elbows. Jessica smirked as his erection poked out. She reached into his pocket and pulled out a condom, dropping it on his stomach. Ryan smirked and ripped it open.  
>"Always prepared, aren't you?" Ryan teased.<br>"Of course" Jessica said, sitting on his knees.

Ryan rolled the condom on and smiled at her. "This seems familiar" Ryan said.

"Yeah, it kind of is. That was the plan." Jessica slid down his thighs. She stopped when she felt the head of Ryan's erection touch the folds of skin between her legs. Ryan ran his hands along the insides of Jessica's thighs and gave her a playful smile. "I think I like this plan." Ryan said. "Me too" Jessica said.

She slid further down his thighs. Ryan guided himself inside Jessica's tight heat. Jessica moaned and wrapped her legs around him. She kissed him and encased his shoulders within her arms. She rested her head on his shoulder and kissed his neck.

"Every time," Jessica said, "You feel amazing."

Ryan kissed her and started rocking his hips. "Every time will always be amazing as long as we're together."

Their bodies rubbed together and their moans rang out in the spacious room. Jessica raked her nails down Ryan's back and he groaned under the sensation. She leaned in and whispered into his ear, her lips brushing against his ear. "Come on big guy, it's my birthday." A raspy noise escaped Ryan's lips and he looked intensely into Jessica's eyes. "You got it love."

Ryan started thrusting harder and Jessica's head lolled back. Ryan bit at the exposed skin. Jessica cried out Ryan's name. He felt her muscles tighten around him and Ryan groaned as his release hit.

They sat there together. Ryan laid down on his back and pulled Jessica down with him. He kissed her and held her in his arms. "I love you" he whispered. Jessica looked at him as a small tear ran down his cheek. Jessica kissed it away. She propped herself up on her forearms and looked into his eyes.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, stroking his hair.

"No, it's just sometimes it seems too good to be true." Ryan said, turning his head away. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I should be the one apologizing. I left you thinking that's what I needed, but I was wrong, so wrong. I'm sorry I scared you Ryan."  
>Ryan ran his hands through her hair and smiled. "Apology accepted love. You're amazing and I love you so much."<p>

Jessica gave him a small smile. "You really forgive me?"

"Would I be fucking you senseless all weekend even though I feel like I'm going to die from pleasure?"

Jessica chuckled and kissed him. "I don't know, a lot of other guys would."

"Well I'm not like a lot of other guys. I'm in love with you, Jessica Caine, and nothing will ever change that."

Jessica scoffed and tousled his hair. "Always so clingy after sex."

* * *

><p>"Ryan, where are we going?" Jessica asked again.<p>

"You'll see when we get there." Ryan replied. In truth Ryan didn't even know where they were going. He had received a text from Horatio with an address and a message that simply said 'Meet me there in two hours. Bring Jessica.'

Ryan turned down the street and suddenly there was no longer asphalt. He was relieved that he had decided to drive Jessica's car, seeing as her Audi was probably more equipped for the off road tundra than his Toyota. Farms with their fields of orange trees and grape fruits came into view and Ryan was quickly becoming confused. He looked at the GPS on Jessica's phone he was using. It said he was going the right way and Ryan trusted Horatio.

The electronic voice said their destination was on the right and Ryan turned into the long dirt driveway. He could see Horatio's blue Jeep up ahead. The top was off it and the doors removed. Ryan chuckled. "I didn't know H was into going topless."  
>Jessica laughed and shook her head. "Yeah, Daddy's got a wild side to him."<p>

Ryan pulled up along side Horatio's car and they hopped out. It took only a few seconds for Horatio to come walking out of the house with a dark haired woman. Horatio was wearing jeans again but had on a blue button down shirt. He smiled at Jessica and Ryan. He pulled his sunglasses from his face and let them rest around his neck.

"Hey Bug," he said as he hugged his daughter, "Happy Birthday!"

"Thanks Dad," Jessica said kissing his cheek.

"Mr. Wolfe, I see you found your way. A little late but I won't hold it against you."

Ryan smiled and chuckled. "Well we were a bit preoccupied when you sent that text."

"Were you fucking my daughter again?" Horatio asked with a stern look on his face.

Ryan smirked at him and nodded his head. "All the way to cloud nine."

Horatio laughed and clapped Ryan on the shoulder. "Some days, Mr. Wolfe, some days."

They walked towards a barn while Horatio introduce the dark haired woman as Maggie. "Maggie and I have known each other for years." Horatio said, "She's a very dear friend to me."  
>"Well you saved my life Horatio." Maggie said, "I'm eternally grateful to you."<p>

"Oh it was nothing, anyone could dismantle a pipe bomb." Horatio said modestly.

"Yes but not everyone is as handsome as you are." Maggie said, wrapping her arm around Horatio's. Ryan felt Jessica squeeze his hand and could see even behind her dark sunglasses the angry look she was giving the woman.

"_Relax__"_ Ryan signed to her.

Jessica shook her head. _"__I__don__'__t__like__how__close__she__'__s__walking__to__my__father!__"_

"_Just relax, I think if H had any feelings towards her something would have happened by now."_

"_I still don't like it."_

"_Get over it, it's your birthday."_

They walked into the barn and were greeted by seven horses stomping and pacing in their stalls. Jessica smiled and ran to grab her father's hand, the one Maggie had been hanging on. "Oh my gosh Dad, are we going riding?" Jessica excitedly asked. Horatio smiled at his daughter. "As a matter of fact we are." Jessica jumped up and down and squealed with delight. "I haven't ridden in years! Oh I'm so excited!" Horatio chuckled at her delight and pulled her in for a hug.

Maggie reappeared from a stall leading a tall brown and white paint. "This is Thunder," she said, "Do you ride English or Western Jessica?"

"Western if we're going trail riding." Jessica said, petting a horse through the opening in the door.

"Alright" Maggie said, lifting a Western style saddle onto the horse's back. "How about you come finish this up and I'll get the others." Jessica walked over and began tightening the saddle on the horse.

Maggie disappeared and reappeared with another large chestnut with a white blaze. The horse picked up his pace and walked straight to Horatio. He nuzzled his nose against Horatio's chest and the redhead chuckled. "Hello Miguel, I take it you missed me." Horatio said to the horse.

Maggie chuckled and handed the horse's lead to Horatio. "Horses are just like kids, they remember who they like. And who could forget you Horatio?" She plopped another Western saddle on its back and disappeared once again. Ryan didn't miss the angry glare Jessica shot at the woman's back as she passed by.

Maggie returned once again with another horse. This one wasn't quite as tall as Thunder and Miguel but Ryan was still intimidated when she stopped in front of him. "This is Trooper," Maggie said of the large black horse. His entire coat was jet black with the exception of three white socks on his feet. Maggie tossed him the reins and Ryan barely managed to catch them. Trooper threw back his head and snorted at him. Ryan jumped and took a step back.

"Do you also ride Western, Ryan?" Maggie asked from across the barn.

"Um, I don't know?" Ryan responded nervously.

"Yeah give him a Western saddle Mags." Horatio said, "Have you ever been on a horse Mr. Wolfe?"

"Well a few times." Ryan responded as the horse stared him down.

"Any of those times not involve you being six and someone else leading it?" Horatio asked.

"Um, no," Ryan quietly responded.

"Well no need to worry." Maggie said, "Trooper here is a big baby. Just don't let him know you're scared, because then he'll push you around and trust me you don't want that." Maggie placed a saddle on the horse's back and began tighten it for Ryan.

"Who said I was scared?" Ryan asked a little defensive.

"Oh please Ry," Jessica said as she walked passed already in her saddle, "Even a blind man could see you're terrified."  
>"I'm not scared!" Ryan exclaimed a little too loud.<p>

"Then prove it big guy." Jessica coolly said. She kicked Thunder in the sides and he took off like a bullet. Ryan watched her trot down to a paddock and circle around it.

Ryan looked back at the looming horse. He took a deep breathe and walked up next to Maggie.

"How do I get on?" he asked.

"Put your left foot here, push off from the stirrup, and swing your leg around his backside." Maggie explained, "Don't go too fast or you'll end up on the other side on the ground."  
>"Like this Ryan." Horatio said. He placed his left foot in the stirrup and pulled himself up on top of the large chestnut. It seemed simply enough, so Ryan took a shot at it. He ended up flipping completely over the horse and fell to the ground on the right side of the horse.<p>

"That was too fast." Maggie said, pulling him up. "Take it easy, just like you're getting in a car."

"Yeah except the car can't kick me" Ryan said. He tried again and found himself on top of the horse but sliding too far to the right. Maggie grabbed his arm and pulled him back straight.

"There, you did it!" Maggie excitedly said. She tightened the saddle again and double checked that his reins were in place. "You'll have to have Horatio or Jessica tighten it again once Trooper gets moving. Horses' guts shrink after they've ran for awhile so the saddle will start to slip around." She looked at him and could see how nervous he was. "You'll be fine! Horatio's been coming out here for years and I can tell Jessica's an experienced rider. Just take it easy for awhile until you get your riding legs."  
>Ryan sighed and looked down at her. "Easier said than done I think."<p>

Maggie walked next to Ryan as she explained the mechanics of the horse; how to stop and go, how to make it run, and what to do if he gets bucked off. "Oh god, you mean this thing can throw me?" Ryan asked panicked.

"Don't worry, Trooper's never thrown anyone before!" Maggie said.

"Oh great, I'll be the horse's first."

Maggie laughed a loud booming laugh. "You are just as funny as Horatio said you were. Not get going before Horatio and Jessica leave you behind!" Maggie slapped the horse's rear and Trooper took off running. Ryan clung to the saddle and reins for dear life, certain he was going to die.

Jessica watched as Trooper ran with a panicked Ryan on his back. She turned Thunder and ran towards him. Jessica ran along side him before she reached over and grabbed the reins from Ryan and pulled back. Thunder and Trooper stopped, standing next to each other. Ryan continued to grasp the saddle with a death grip and he was breathing heavily. "Jesus Christ!" Ryan exclaimed, "Why the hell did she do that!"

Jessica shook her head and handed the reins back to Ryan as he straightened himself up in the saddle. "I don't know but I really don't think I like her."

Horatio came trotting up to them on Miguel and stopped in front of them. "You ok Ryan?"

"Not really! You're crazy friend made it run!" Ryan yelled. Trooper started stepping sideways away from Thunder and he pawed at the ground.

"Calm down Ryan," Horatio said, pulling Trooper's head into his hands, "You're scaring your horse. I'm sure Maggie didn't mean to frighten you." He stroked the horse's head soothingly and quietly talked to it.  
>"Well she sure did a good job." Ryan said annoyed, "Fucking scared me out of my mind."<p>

"Come on," Jessica said, "Let's just try walking for now."

"Sounds like a great idea to me."

Jessica and Ryan walked around the pasture at a slow pace. They watched as Horatio ran the course in the paddock, jumping the vaults and running around barrels.

"I didn't know H knew how to ride a horse." Ryan said.

"Yeah, he grew up working on his Uncle's farm in Montana during the summer." Jessica said, "Every summer his mother sent him to live with her brother. She wanted him to instill hard work and good ideals in him. Clearly it worked, too. He's the one that taught me how to ride."  
>"When was the first time you rode?" Ryan asked.<p>

Jessica chuckled. "I was three. Horatio's Uncle had died and he was flying out to the funeral in Montana. Mom was doing better at that time and asked Horatio to take me along. She wanted me to meet his side of the family and she said that any chance to travel is one worth taking.

"So we were out in the barn and Horatio was showing me all the animals. I saw the horses and asked if I could ride one. Horatio's Aunt said it was alright with her, seeing as the horses hadn't gotten much exercise in the weeks before his Uncle's death. So Horatio pulled out a couple of horses, one was a black stallion and the other a palomino pony. He saddled them up and plopped me on the pony and he took the stallion himself. Everyone thought he was crazy letting go by myself but he said 'Izzy Bug's a tough one, she'll give that horse its moneys worth!'

"We walked around the paddock and then he took me on a trail ride. We got to a beautiful open field and the sun was just starting to set. I told him I would race him to the sun and he laughed and said the sun was a long ways away. Then he realized my pony was cantering away from him. He ran after me and tried to catch up. He didn't understand how that little pony out ran his horse. Horatio was terrified because my feet barely reached the stirrups and I was bouncing all over the place. I stopped eventually and he scolded me for running like that."

"Never had I seen so much fear in those big greens eyes." Horatio said as he trotted up to them. "You were terrified and you cried. I felt so bad because I made you cry. You said you just wanted to go faster." Horatio reached over and ran his hand through her ponytail. "I pulled you onto my saddle and tied the pony to a tree. I kicked that horse so hard I'm sure I bruised it, but he took off like a rocket. You squealed with delight and said you felt like you were flying. I jumped over a fallen tree and you held your arms out. You said you were a bird and when I asked what kind you said an eagle because they're big and strong, just like your Daddy. I told you that was a nice thing to say about Brian, but you shook your head and told me you were talking about me."

Horatio looked at his daughter and smiled. "That was the day I decided I would never make my little girl cry again. You called me Daddy H all the time after that. Brian thought it was just because I was your Godfather. I don't know how he found out but he knew Jessabelle and I were planning on getting married. He knew and he did nothing to stop us. Just before he died he told me all this and said he wished he had gotten a divorce before she went into remission so then I could have had the chance to be with my wife."

Jessica smiled at her father and moved closer to him. She climbed into his saddle with him and hugged him. "I love you Daddy" she whispered. "I love you Jessie Bug" Horatio responded. Jessica turned around in the saddle and Horatio moved back. "Just like when you were a kid?" Horatio asked. Jessica smiled and nodded her head. "Just like on Uncle Jack's farm."

Jessica dropped Thunder's reins onto his saddle and he started eating grass. Horatio kicked Miguel roughly and the horse took off in a quick trot. Ryan watched them run across the field and down to the paddock. They circled around a few times before they moved towards the vaults. Miguel sailed over one of the lower vaults and Jessica's face lit up with a childish joy. They ran back up the hill to where Ryan was waiting with Trooper and Thunder.

They stopped just short of him and Jessica slid off. She tightened Horatio's saddle for him and then moved on to Ryan's. "Thanks Dad" she said as she walked away from him. "Anytime Bug" Horatio smiled. He took off running through the field towards the trail.

Ryan smiled as Jessica tightened his saddle. "Now I understand where you get it all from?"

"Get what from?" Jessica asked, tightening her saddle.

"Your determination, your caring attitude, your adventurous side, it's all because of Horatio."

Jessica smiled as she positioned herself in the saddle. "The guys at the Chicago Precinct used to joke that I was born to the wrong father. I always wondered if they knew just how right they were." She leaned over and kissed him. "Now come on! We've got to catch up to Horatio. The old man's leaving us in his dust."  
>Ryan looked at her nervously and looked down at the horse. "You'll be fine." Jessica said reassuringly, "Trotting isn't hard at all. You just post, which means you stand in your stirrups, like this." Jessica demonstrated by pushing down on the stirrups and lifting her butt off the saddle. "Push your legs together against the horse's body and keep a firm grip on the reins. You know how to stop so use that to your advantage."<br>"Alright," Ryan said, "I trust you. But you can't make fun of me for how stupid I look!"

Jessica laughed and kissed his cheek. "You'll be fine, just relax and have fun!"

Jessica started walking away quickly and Ryan followed. She slowly gained speed and could hear Trooper trying to match Thunder's pace. Soon she was posting and trotting across the field. She looked back to see Ryan doing the same, a large smile spreading across his face. Jessica kicked the speed up and took a sharp right. She heard Ryan grunt as Trooper turned but when she looked he was still doing just fine.

Jessica broke into a quick canter and felt the wind whip through her hair. When she looked over her shoulder Ryan was gone. Jessica furrowed her brow and looked back ahead of her. Ryan flew past her on her left and broke away from her. Jessica laughed and pushed Thunder to go faster.

Ryan dashed into the forest on Trooper. The path was clear and the trees thick on either side. He tore through the twisting path and looked forward towards his destination. He broke out of the woods and into another clearing. Trooper was practically galloping as the dirt flew out from under his feet. Ryan laughed and felt his heart pound hard in his chest.

Jessica tore out of the forest behind him and continued her attempt to catch up to him. Jessica managed to catch up to him and flew past him and back onto the path into the forest. Her mind was racing as she tried to take in all the sights around her. She saw something brown and blue flash by going the opposite direction and barely turned in time to see her father running back towards the clearing on a different path.

The forest opened up again and Jessica tore through the field. She pulled on Thunder's reins and the horse bucked up onto his hind legs, his front legs kicking at the air. Jessica held on tight as Thunder whinnied loudly through out the field. He settled back onto all four legs again and snorted. Ryan came running up on Trooper and stopped next to her. He smiled at her and leaned across to kiss her.

"You win," he said.

Jessica smiled and kissed him. "What's my prize?"

"Here's a hint- it's in my pants and making it very uncomfortable to ride a horse."  
>Jessica smirked and allowed Thunder's head to drop to eat grass. "I like the sounds of that." She said as she climbed into Ryan's saddle with him.<p>

Jessica unzipped his jeans and reached inside. Ryan groaned and a pleasured look washed across his face. Jessica carefully maneuvered out of her jeans and tossed them to her saddle. Ryan lifted his butt and allowed Jessica to pull his pants down to his thighs. She pulled a condom out of his pocket and rolled it down his length. Jessica pulled her thong to the side and slid into Ryan's lap. She impaled herself and moaned as Ryan filled her. Ryan chuckled and kissed Jessica.

"You are so creative." He said, "If I didn't know any better I would think you've done this before."  
>"Nope, the only one I've ever shared a saddle with is my Daddy, and you know this isn't how we ride."<br>Ryan laughed and attempted to thrust into her. "This is awkward." He said shifting in the saddle.

"Maybe you should let me do the riding cowboy." Jessica said as she bit his neck.

Jessica began lifting her body up and down on top of Ryan, helping him thrust in and out. She moaned and leaned her head back. She held onto the horse's neck and used it to stabilize as she thrusted. Ryan pulled her in for a searing kiss and Jessica caught the mischievous look in his eye.

Ryan gently nudged Trooper and the horse began walking. Jessica gasped as she felt Ryan's body move with each bumpy step. She reached around him and grabbed the back of the saddle and groaned under the gentle rocking sensation. Ryan bit at her neck and gave Trooper a rough kick. The horse started running slowly and Jessica moaned loudly. As the speed picked up Jessica's moans became louder. She closed her eyes and her toes curled under the feeling of Ryan jostling around inside her roughly.

After a few laps around the field Jessica cried out Ryan's name as he filled the tip of the condom. They rode back over to where Thunder was still grazing. Jessica climbed off Ryan and slid to the ground. Ryan followed behind her and allowed Trooper the chance to graze. They pulled their pants back on and Jessica slid her shoes back onto her feet. Ryan pulled her against his body and kissed her passionately.

"You are such a dirty girl." He growled in her ear as he bit her neck.

Jessica giggled and squirmed under his touch and kissed him again. "And you have good dirty thoughts."

"So that whole thing was my idea?"

"Not completely. The prize was your idea; I just decided how I wanted to use it. But making the horse run, my god that was ingenious! That was so incredible feeling! Talk about horse power! I must be in love with the smartest guy on the plant!"

Ryan chuckled and kissed her again. "Should we head back now?"

"We could, or we could continue our race."

"Alright but we wait until we get home to use the prize." Ryan said, kissing her neck.

"Only if you can hold it that long." Jessica teased as she climbed back into her saddle. Ryan laughed and climbed back up onto Trooper. "Hey you got it this time!" Jessica said excitedly.

Ryan groaned and his ears turned red. "You saw me fall?"

Jessica giggled and kissed his cheek. "Yes I did, but you did it very gracefully."

"Oh shut up you." Ryan said trotting away from her.

* * *

><p>Ryan pulled up to the fancy seafood restaurant. Jessica smiled at him as he opened her car door.<p>

"Well thank you kind sir." Jessica said, brushing off the front of his suit. Ryan smiled at her. He looked at her tea length blue dress that clinged to her small frame. "Anything for you beautiful."

They walked in and the hostess walked them to their table. They placed their orders and talked as they waited.

"My goodness Mr. Wolfe," Jessica said, "This is quite the place."  
>"Anything for you my love," Ryan smiled.<p>

Jessica reached across the table and held his hand. "You're too good to me."

"I have a present for you." Ryan said, reaching into the pocket inside his jacket. He pulled out a black jewelry box and Jessica smiled. "More jewelry? Ryan do you just think I dress like a slob?"  
>Ryan chuckled. "No, it made me think of you." He opened the box to reveal a silver women's Rolex watch. It had a mother of pearl face and the hands had tiny diamonds on them. Jessica's eyes lit up and she smiled. "Ok so now you're saying I'm always late."<br>Ryan rolled his eyes at her and scoffed. "Geez, I try to give you something nice and you blow it off."  
>"Oh gosh, I'm sorry Ryan, I didn't mean for that to come off like that!" Jessica said, covering her face with her hands. "God I'm a terrible person!"<p>

"No you're not, because if you were I wouldn't be here right now." Ryan said with a smile, "Now try it on." He lifted the watch from the box and held it out for her. Jessica looked at it in her hands and smiled.

She felt something around the edge of the face and looked to find an engraving. _"__You__are__my__soul.__Without__you__I__'__m__incomplete.__R.D.W.__"_ Jessica's eye watered as she read the message. "Oh Ryan!" she exclaimed. She leapt from her chair and wrapped her arms around him. "Oh thank you so much! I love it!"

Ryan smiled and kissed her cheek. "And I love you." He said, gently taking the watch from her. He clasped it around her wrist and watched the light dance off it. "Beautiful, just like you."

Their food arrived and they ate in silence. Jessica kept looking at her watch and smiling at Ryan. After Ryan insisted on buying Jessica dessert and he had paid the bill they walked back to Ryan's car. The ride back to Jessica's condo was also quiet. Jessica slipped her hand into Ryan's and smiled at him. When they arrived home Jessica led Ryan up to the bedroom and started kissing him.

Jessica slid Ryan's jacket off his shoulders and let it fall to the ground. She undid his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt. She ran her hands across his chest and looked into his eyes. Ryan pulled her against his body and trailed his hands down her back. He pulled at the zipper of the dress and let it pool around Jessica's feet. He lifted her and carried her to the bed and laid her down. He crawled on top of her and gently kissed her.

"I love you so much Jessica," he whispered into her ear. "Thank you for letting me into your life."

"I love you, too, Ryan." Jessica responded as she pulled at his belt.

Ryan pulled his pants and boxers off and then unhooked Jessica's bra. He gently tossed it to the side and slid her panties off. He reached into the condom box and pulled one out. He tried to quickly put it on but his hands wouldn't seem to stop shaking. Jessica covered his with her own and carefully helped him. Ryan captured her lips with his and tangled his hands in her hair. He just hovered over her for a while, kissing her and caressing her body.

"You're the best thing in my life Jessica." He said to her, "Please don't ever forget that."

Jessica wrapped her arms around his chest and held him close. "I could never forget you, Ryan."

Ryan slid in between her legs. Jessica moaned quietly and held him tighter. It was slow and sweet. Ryan didn't want to rush the process; he wanted to be with her for as long as he could. When Ryan was completely buried he just held her. Jessica stroked his face with the tips of her fingers and looked into his eyes. She could see his love for her and felt his heart beating inside her. Jessica tenderly kissed him and gently bit at his bottom lip. "Please Ryan" she whispered. He kissed her back and whispered into her ear. "Anything for you my love."


	17. One More Time

**So I posted the last chapter without proof reading it one last time and I realized that when I was looking over it that I used the word "clinged" instead of "clung" when describing Jessica's dress she wore out to dinner. I swear, I really do know English. lol**

Monday  
>One more time<p>

Jessica woke up naked and encased in Ryan's arms. She sat up and looked at her boyfriend and smiled. She thought back to the morning after their first night together and how ecstatic she had felt that the night before had been real. Jessica ran her fingers through his hair and smiled to herself. She felt her heart swell at the thought that the last nine months had all been real.

Ryan stirred in his sleep and rolled onto his back. His eyes cracked open and Jessica could see how green they looked in the early morning light. He smiled at her as sleep slowly left him.

"Hey there beautiful," he said quietly, "How long have you been up?"

"Only a few minutes" Jessica told him as she continued to run her nails across his scalp. Ryan groaned and turned his head into her hand. He closed his eyes and smiled. "What time is it?" he asked. Jessica looked at the clock. "It's 5:45" she told him.

Ryan sighed and slowly opened his eyes again. "Did we actually use up the box this weekend?"

Jessica leaned over and grabbed the condom box. She peered inside and found one lying at the bottom. "No but we got really close."

"How close?" Ryan asked.

"There's one left."

"Well, you said you wanted to use them up before work on Monday." Ryan said, sitting up. "It's Monday but we're not at work yet." He captured her lips with his own and kissed her passionately. "You think you're up for one more time?"

Jessica smirked at him. "I think I can manage one more time, but on one condition- I don't see your penis for the next week. God I'm sore."

"We don't have to if you don't want to." Ryan said, kissing her neck.

Jessica looked at the sheet covering their bodies. She could see Ryan's erection already poking upwards underneath. She smiled as she felt a pulsation begin between her legs and herself grow wet. "Oh I think there's no stopping it now."

"Good," Ryan said, pinning her down, "Because I'm about to make you have an orgasm like you've never had before."

Ryan threw the blanket off their bodies and began trailing kisses down Jessica neck. He stopped to tease her nipples with his tongue. Jessica moaned and squirmed under the sensation as she felt them turn into hard little buds. Ryan kissed his way down the bubbly scar on her chest and began biting at random intervals on her abdomen. He laved his tongue over the bite marks and listened to Jessica's breathing pick up.

He ran his hands along the insides of her thighs and Jessica moaned softly. Ryan pushed her legs apart and inhaled her musky scent. He gently pulled her labia apart and just looked at the red, engorged flesh. He ran a finger slowly from the top to the bottom of her sensitive inner self and listened as her moans became more pleading.

Ryan touched her clitoris with the tip of his index finger and pushed gently. Jessica almost growled at him and her breath hitched in her throat under the sensation. He ran his finger around the little nub and watched as Jessica's thighs tightened and began to spasm.

Ryan leaned his head in and carefully tasted her and listened to Jessica cry out in pleasure. He sucked on her clitoris and could feel the blood start to pump harder between her legs. Ryan slid two of his fingers inside her and began searching for the spot he knew would make her scream his name. He quickly found it and rubbed his fingers against it roughly while he continued to suck on the bundle of nerves. Jessica moaned loudly and Ryan felt her become wetter around his fingers. He felt her start to contract around his fingers and knew she didn't have much longer.

Ryan sat up and grabbed the condom from the box. He rolled it down his already leaking erection and willed his release to stay at bay when he almost came just from the sight of Jessica's dark eyes. He slid inside her and quickly started thrusting. Jessica cried out and started panting as he hit her sweet spot again and again.

Ryan thrusted as hard and fast as he could into her. Sweat poured down his body and he slid against Jessica's also sweaty body. Jessica felt like she couldn't get enough air. She breathed in quick, shallow breaths. Every muscle in her body was tremoring and she felt her release hit again and again in short spurts, never fully reaching climax. She dug her nails into Ryan's back and moaned his name. Then Jessica felt the rippling deep within her. She arched her back and screamed Ryan's name as she finally hit her climax. The sound of her crying out his name and the tightening of her muscles sent Ryan over the edge as he released his seed into the condom. He quietly groaned "Twenty-four" under his breath as he rode out his high.

When all was said and done Ryan pulled out and tossed the condom to the floor. He pulled Jessica's sweat soaked body against his own and just held her. He stroked her hair and felt her heart pounding inside her chest.

"Why did you say twenty-four?" Jessica finally asked.

Ryan chuckled. "I didn't think you could hear me."

She ran her fingertips along his chest and smiled against his skin. "Of course I could, I'm a classically trained musician. I can hear anything."  
>Ryan chuckled again and kissed the top of her head. "I should have known better."<br>"What's twenty-four?" Jessica asked again.

"I was just taking a final count, that's all."  
>Jessica smiled and kissed his chest. "You're such a nut case sometimes. Now let's go shower before we have to join the working world again."<p>

"Sounds like a great idea to me." Ryan said, pulling her from the bed.

* * *

><p>Jessica and Ryan walked into the locker room together. They were greeted by Calleigh, Eric, Jesse, and Walter all getting ready. Calleigh smiled at them and ran over to hug Jessica.<p>

"Happy Birthday Jessie!" she said, "Well I guess belated birthday."  
>"Thanks Calleigh" Jessica said.<p>

"How was your weekend?" Calleigh asked slyly, her eyes darting over to Ryan momentarily.

"It was good."  
>"What did you guys do?" Eric asked, pulling on his wetsuit.<p>

"Well Ryan made every meal this weekend except for last night when he took me out to dinner." Jessica said, trying to remember. "We went and visited Horatio on Saturday and he told Ryan embarrassing stories about me as a kid. Ryan bought me this _amazing_ set of bath oils and I took a hot bath and it was so incredible! We went for a run to see the sunrise and rode horses with Horatio. Ryan bought me this watch. Look how beautiful it is!" Jessica held her right hand out for Calleigh to look at the watch.

"Wow Ryan, I didn't know you had such good taste!" Calleigh smiled, "You might want to leave that here though girlie, and grab your coveralls. You and me are headed out to the landfill for a body dump."  
>"Aw man," Jessica groaned, "Maybe I shouldn't have showered this morning."<p>

"So that's all you guys did?" Walter asked.

"Yeah Wally," Ryan answered, "We kind of just hung low this weekend. It's what Jessica wanted and I'm not going to argue with a freakin black belt."  
>"I don't have a black belt." Jessica said, pulling off her shoes. "In fact I've never done martial arts." Ryan chuckled and kissed the side of her head. Jessica locked eyes with him for a moment and smiled.<p>

Eric chuckled as he pulled the wetsuit the rest of the way up. "I think Walter might onto something though." He said, "Zip me up Cardoza?"  
>"Yeah sure," Jesse said. He tugged at the zipper and looked at Jessica. "Yeah, I think I'm going to have to agree with you on that Eric."<p>

Jessica sighed and rolled her eyes as she slid her arms into the sleeves of her coveralls. "Ok, what part do you think we left out?"  
>"I'm think you guys had a little something-something going on." Eric said, nudging Jesse.<p>

"Yeah, from what I heard from Frank," Jesse said, "You guys were pretty busy when you were in the safe house."  
>"Alright," Jessica said, "You want to know whether we had sex, don't you?"<p>

"I don't think anyone really wants to know." Walter said, rummaging through his locker.  
>"Well you brought it up so here it is- yes, we did have sex this weekend. Twenty-four times to be exact."<p>

Walter, Eric, and Jesse looked at her with their mouths hung open. "Twenty-four?" Walter asked.

"Yup," Jessica answered, "I bought a box Friday night and we used it up this morning."

"Holy shit!" Jesse slowly exclaimed, "How is that even possible?"

Jessica chuckled and looked at Ryan. His ears were burning red and he was staring off away from the rest of the group. Jessica smiled and smacked his ass. "Oh anything's possible when you put your mind to it." She said, lifting her kit from her locker.

Calleigh laughed and walked over to her. "Well come on girly, we've got Frank waiting out with our DB and you know how much he hates waiting in the landfill." She linked arms with Jessica and they walked to the door. "And you need to tell me your secret. I wish I could get laid twenty-four times in that short amount of time."

Ryan stood there awkwardly looking at the ground. He went to his locker and opened it and began searching for…well he didn't even know what.

"Damn Ryan," Eric exclaimed, "I didn't know you had it in you!" Eric chuckled and clapped his friend on the back. "Was it all you or did you get a little help from a blue pill?"

An evil smirk played over Ryan's face. He turned and looked at his best friend with a playful look in his eye. "Oh you bet like fuck it was all me!"

"Whoa!" Eric exclaimed, punching Ryan playfully in the arm. "That's my boy! Come on, you're going with me to the marina. I want to know how in the world you managed this! Wally you can go with Cardoza to the street shoot out. Come on man!" Eric grabbed Ryan's arm just as he barely managed to grab his kit. "You gotta let me in on your secret! You've got some mad skills!"

* * *

><p>Jessica crouched down to look at the body of the young woman. She felt a tinge of pain between her legs and tried to hide the fact by not reacting. She snapped pictures while Calleigh talked to the landfill owner. The stench was horrid and Jessica reached into her kit to grab some gum in an attempt to rid the taste from her mouth.<p>

"Well according to Mr. Seamus," Calleigh said walking over, "Someone was stirring up the contents of a dump to make more room when our Jane Doe here fell out of a trash bag."  
>"She came from a trash bag?" Jessica asked, "Must have been super force flex."<p>

Calleigh chuckled and looked over the body. "You thinking she came from somewhere else?"

"Yeah, she's not that tall but she's still has to be at least 110 pounds. I would also guess her at about five foot tall. That's an awful lot of human to be placing in a bag."

"So what are you thinking Jess?"

"I think the owner's lying. After Tom gets the body out we should collect all the trash underneath her and in the immediate surrounding area. I would go about seven feet out and a foot deep. Going by her size and if that lift is still in the same position it was in when the hydraulic packer uncovered her that means whatever she was in should be right around here."

"There's a busted plastic storage tub over there." Calleigh said pointing to the damaged blue bin.

"I'll go check it out." Jessica said as she stood. A sharp pain between her legs and the muscles in her thighs cramping brought her back down to the ground. Calleigh rushed to her side and helped her up.

"You ok girly?" Calleigh asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a Charlie horse, that's all."

"You been working your legs too much?" Calleigh asked with a mischievous smirk.

"More than you." Jessica retorted playfully.

They walked together over to the rubber bin and Jessica started snapping pictures. Calleigh swabbed a sample and tested it for blood. "Yup, that's positive." Calleigh said as the cotton tip turned purple.

"There are shreds of black plastic here, too." Jessica said, collecting samples.

"Do you think she was stuffed in here and then when the bin broke she rolled out still in the bag?"

"It's possible. I say let's start collecting so we can piece this back together."  
>"Alright, I'll go get some boxes." Calleigh turned and walked towards the Hummer.<p>

Tom came trudging through the trash with a few of his medical assistants. Jessica greeted him next to the Jane Doe.

"You know Jess, I think I would rather pull Ryan and Eric's guy back out." Tom said, "At least marina victims aren't as smelly."  
>Jessica chuckled and knelt beside the body. "So what do you think Tom?"<p>

"You already got pictures?" Tom asked. Jessica nodded her head and Tom immediately started moving the victim's head from side to side. "Well I can definitely tell you she's been dead for awhile since rigor mortis has started to leave the smaller joints." A loud cracking noise made Jessica cringe slightly. "Broken neck, don't know if that was the cause of death though."

"Well I'm going to start collecting trash with Calleigh." Jessica said, "I'll check in with you at the morgue."  
>"Sounds like a plan, maybe I'll have enough information that we can figure where this poor girl came from."<p>

Calleigh and Jessica lifted and scooped trash into plastic containers and trash bags. They hauled their loads of trash to the Hummer and piled it all in.

"God this sucks" Jessica said as she wiped sweat off her forehead.

"I bet I can guess where you'd rather be." Calleigh said, handing her a bottle of water.

"No way, not for a while." Jessica said as she took a drink. "My god it sounded like a good idea at the time but I am sooooo sore today. I told Ryan I didn't want to see his penis for the next week at least."  
>Calleigh laughed and shook her head as she drank some water. "You two are such a cute couple. And I have to say I admire the fact that you're so open about it. I've seen way too many couples within the lab try to hide the fact that they're together."<br>"Well we weren't going to come out about it until after I graduated but the whole thing with Ryan getting arrested kind of drove it out."

"I must say you did a very good job at hiding it. I didn't have a clue until Ryan was arrested. The baby though I think I was most surprised about."

Jessica smiled weakly. "Yeah that one was tricky. I was so scared about how Ryan was going to react that I hid it from him even. He only knew about it for three weeks before, well, you know."

Calleigh pulled Jessica into her arms. "I'm sorry Jess, you would have made a wonderful mother. You're so kind and caring." Calleigh smiled as she pulled back from their embrace. "You must get that from your father."  
>Jessica smiled again. "Yeah, Horatio raised me that way."<p>

They went to talk to Tom before he left for the next crime scene. "Her internal temp is 87.4 degrees; she's been dead for about twenty-four hours if she's been out here the whole time." Tom explained, "But this is definitely a body dump so she may have been dead longer. I would guess where ever she was killed probably has air conditioning, seeing as it's been so hot lately and just about everywhere has AC in Miami."

"Alright well have a safe trip to the shoot out." Calleigh said, "Call us if you get anything."

"Will do" Tom said.

Calleigh and Jessica climbed into their Hummer. Jessica flinched slightly as she put her foot on the brake. Calleigh laughed and smiled at her.

"Twenty-four times still seem like a bad idea?" she playfully asked.

"No, no, I didn't say it was a bad idea. I said it sounded like a good idea."

"Well if it wasn't a bad idea but not a good idea what was it?"

"Oh it was a fucking great idea!" Jessica exclaimed, "God this was the best weekend of my life so far!"

Calleigh laughed loudly. "Well then maybe I'll try this sometime."  
>"I would highly recommend it!"<p>

* * *

><p>Ryan pulled the heavy metal chain from the water onto the boat. He was glad he had changed out of his nice clothes into his MDPD t-shirt, ratty jeans, and coveralls. It was hot out on the ocean. Ryan had unzipped his coveralls and let the top half hang off around his waist while the bottom half still covered his jeans. Water splashed onto his rubber boots he wore on his feet.<p>

"Can't these mob guys use something easier to recover than chains and bricks?" Ryan asked.

Eric chuckled from the water. "At least you're on dry land."

"Correction I am neither dry nor on land."  
>"I bet you're running dry now though."<br>Ryan looked at Eric over the side of the boat with an exasperated expression on his face. "I still think you're just jealous because I'm getting laid on a regular basis and you're flying solo."  
>"Hey who said I was flying solo?" Eric retorted.<p>

"You fucking Calleigh again?"

"Whoa, you think I was sleeping with Calleigh?"

"No, I know you were sleeping with Calleigh. It was clear as day." Ryan said bringing the camera to his face to take pictures.  
>"Yeah sure, after Jessica pointed it out to you. You guys weren't that sneaky either."<br>"Oh please you had no clue about Jessica and me until I told you."  
>"Lies, I could see it in your eyes lover boy."<p>

"Shut up and get in the water before I drown you."

Eric dove back under the water and disappeared from sight. Ryan began swabbing the heavy chain in hopes that the water hadn't destroyed any evidence. A young patrol unit walked over and watched Ryan work. "Can I help you?" Ryan asked, a little annoyed about having an audience.

"I'm sorry, I was just watching." The young man said, "I find what you CSIs do fascinating."

"Well don't get too close, the water's already compromised this evidence." Ryan said as he answered his ringing phone. "Wolfe…oh hey Jess, how's it going at the dump?" Ryan listened for a moment. "Chinese? You paying because I spent all my money on this ridiculously hot girl this weekend. Oh, Big Daddy's paying then I'm super game." Ryan laughed as Jessica taunted him. "Alright then I'll see you back at the lab. I love you, too."

Ryan hung up his phone to find the patrol unit hovering even closer to the chain. "You know if you sneezed I would have to list you as a suspect now." The patrol unit backed away quickly looking terrified. Ryan chuckled to himself. "You're new, aren't you?"

"I've been working for MDPD for about four months." The young man said proudly, "I was hired at the end of January. I didn't do much for the crime lab though. I did get to work a case though when that girl was kidnapped, Lieutenant Caine's daughter, the really hot blonde."  
>Ryan cleared his throat and gave the young man an irritated look. "Better watch what you say there Junior." Eric said as he pulled himself over the side of the boat to drop a knife onto the deck. "Lover boy here might just remove your tonsils."<br>"What do you mean?" the patrol asked.

"Ryan here tapped that." Eric said, nodding his head towards Ryan.

The young man's eyes grew wide and an astonished expression washed over his face. "You're the one that screwed Lieutenant Caine's daughter?"

"Excuse me Junior," Ryan said snidely, "But I'm the one that's in love with Lieutenant Caine's daughter. I just have the advantage of getting to screw her whenever she's in the mood."

"Damn," the young man said, "I can't believe you're sleeping with your boss's daughter."  
>"Ok pip squeak do you want to end up at the bottom of the ocean with John Doe?" Ryan growled at the patrol unit, "Because I can make that happen if that's what you're trying to do."<p>

The young patrol unit backed away quickly. He walked back towards the other patrol units, glancing over his shoulder at Ryan. He joined his other units and said something to them. They laughed at him and one smacked him in the back of the head. Ryan smiled to himself, feeling victorious.

"Better watch yourself lover boy." Eric said, "You know he'll tell Frank who will tell Horatio. You don't want Horatio mad at you before you marry Jessica."  
>Ryan scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Eric I'm not even ready to move in with her, do you really think I'm ready to run off and get married?"<p>

"You know I feel like I can't be sure with you guys. Just when I think I know what's going on you two throw a curve ball. For all I know you guys are going to the drive through chapel tonight for a shotgun wedding."

"You better get back in the water before you and that patrol kid both feel my fury."  
>"Careful love boy that's my niece you're talking about." Eric said as he pulled his mask back on and dove under the water.<p>

* * *

><p>Horatio ate his lunch with Jessica and Ryan. He felt a sense of dread knowing he had to tell Jessica eventually. They cleaned up from their meal and Ryan ran to brush his teeth as usual after lunch. Jessica smiled as he watched him hurry away. "I think he goes through a tube of toothpaste a week." Jessica chuckled.<p>

"Jess, I need to talk to you about something." Horatio said. He pulled her over to the couch and sat her down. He held her slender hands in his own. He smiled at the sight of the ring on her left hand as the light danced off it. "Jessica I got a call from the Illinois State Attorney. James's execution date has been moved up."

Jessica felt her heart pound and her chest hurt. "When?"

"This Thursday."

"Oh god" Jessica mutter, burying her face in her hands.

"Jessica you remember that they asked Izzy to be a witness at the execution, right?"

Jessica nodded her head. "And I agreed."

Horatio held her hands again and looked into her pained eyes. "Izzy can't witness if she's dead, Jessica."  
>"I know." Jessica whispered.<p>

"Jessica the State Attorney asked if you would stand in as Izzy's witness."

"Witness what?" They looked to see Ryan standing in the doorway. He walked over to the couch and knelt to the ground beside Jessica. She looked at him and rubbed her thumb against his chin. "Toothpaste" she quietly said.

"Jess, what's going on?" Ryan asked.

"James's execution has been moved to this Thursday." Horatio told him, "The State Attorney has asked Jessica to stand in as a witness for Izzy."

Ryan looked at Jessica and could see the pain in her eyes. "Are you going Jess?"

Jessica was silent. Small tears ran down her cheeks. "No, I'm not going to."

"Jessica" Horatio quietly said.

"I'm not going!" Jessica said loudly, "I'm not going for him! I haven't been to Illinois since the day I left for college. I'm not going back for him! I want to go on my own time. I want to go back for me! I've wanted nothing more for the last fifteen years than to see James die, but I will not go back to my home for him! I want to go back to Illinois for me, not James!" Her body started to shake with her sobs.

Horatio pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry Jessica, I didn't mean to upset you."  
>"It's not you," Jessica said, "It's him. He did this to me."<br>"You really don't want to go, do you?"

"No Dad, please don't make me."  
>Horatio looked into her watery blue eyes. "I would never make you do anything you don't want to. I would never do that to you."<p>

"What's going on?" Jesse asked as he walked into the break room. He could see how upset Jessica was and his heart went out to her.

"Um, nothing really" Jessica said, wiping the tears from her face. "Horatio just had a question for me, that's all."

"Jessica Caine you are a terrible liar." Jesse said, pulling a chair up to sit across from her. "Now spill, what's going on?"

"Horatio asked me if I wanted to stand in as a witness to James's execution for Izzy, since she was the original witness and she can't if she's dead."

Jesse looked at her, grief filling his eyes. "I'm sorry Jess."

"I'm not going." Jessica said, "I'm not going back for him. I haven't been to Illinois since I was a teenager. I'm not going back for the first time for him."

Jesse took her hand into his and gave her a reassuring smile. "I think that's a great idea."

Jessica looked into his eyes and Jesse watched as her thoughts processed. "Jesse, would you go for me?"

Jesse was taken aback. "You want me to act as Izzy's witness for you?"

"Please Jesse, I trust you with my life. I can't do this myself. I need you Jesse."

Jesse felt his heart break. So many times he had wished she had said that to him over the past few months but she never did. "I'll do it Jess. I'll do it for you."


	18. Time

**Sorry, this chapter's really short.**

Tuesday  
>Time<p>

Ryan woke up to Jessica screaming. She was thrashing around the bed as tears ran down her face. Ryan reached over and tried to wake her. "Oh god, Jessica please wake up! Jess come back to me please!"

Jessica's screams subsided as her eyes adjusted to the light. "Ryan?" she quietly said. She reached over and touched his face. Tears streamed down her face as she crawled into his lap.

"What was it Jess?" Ryan whispered to her.

"I was at the prison and they were getting ready to execute James." Jessica quietly said, "They brought him in and he had a hood over his head. They strapped him down to the gurney and hooked up all the lines to his arms. He fought the whole time, screaming he was innocent. Then James walked up and sat next to me. I screamed and then they pulled the hood off the man on the gurney." Jessica stopped as her voice cracked and her breathe hitched in her throat. "It was you Ryan, they were executing you."

Ryan held her in his arms and buried his face into her hair. "Next year we'll go to Chicago for Christmas. You can go back to your home and have your white Christmas. It'll be on our time, no one else's."

* * *

><p>Jessica woke up to find Ryan sitting in the middle of the bed staring out the windows. She put on her glasses and crawled up behind him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him against her chest. "What are you thinking?" she quietly asked him.<p>

"Life," he almost whispered, "It's so precious and we're so vulnerable. In a split second everything could change. A few years ago a live grenade was brought into the morgue with a body bag. Kyle didn't see it and it fell out of the bag. I grabbed him and pulled him behind a table as it exploded. We could have both died. The poor guy couldn't function the rest of the day; he blamed himself for the grenade getting into the lab. I told him it wasn't his fault, things like that just happen and there's nothing we can do to prevent them."

"You're the one that saved my brother?" Jessica asked. Her grip on Ryan tightened and he heard the tears in her voice. "You save my little brother's life, Ryan?"

Ryan smiled and felt his own tears form. "Yeah, I did."  
>"Thank you" Jessica said as she buried her face into his hair.<p>

"That day was a reminder that I should live my life to its fullest. We don't always get second chances and we need to take them when we can and give them when they're needed."

"Live each day to its ultimate good" Jessica whispered.

"What's that?"

"A line from the Alpha Sigma Alpha creed."

Ryan smiled. "It's a good philosophy, I like it."

They were silent for awhile. "What else are you thinking about?" Jessica asked him.

"Can we name her Elizabeth?" Ryan asked.

"Name who Elizabeth?" Jessica inquired.

"Our daughter; Elizabeth Renee Caine Wolfe."

Jessica was perplexed. "Why?" she asked, "I thought you wanted to name our daughter Melinda, after your mother."

Ryan hesitated for a moment, trying to piece together his response. When he spoke his voice was shaky and unsettled. "Because I think it's time Elizabeth Caine was laid to rest."


	19. Saying GoodBye

**Another short one, sorry. .**

Wednesday  
>Saying Good-Bye<p>

Jessica and Ryan stood hand-in-hand looking out onto the beach. Ryan was holding the small urn in his free hand. When they heard the car approach they turned and watched Horatio park his car and climb out. He pulled off his shoes and tossed them in the car. He was dressed almost identical to Ryan, wearing khaki pants and a white button down shirt. Jessica was wearing a white dress. All three were barefoot.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Horatio asked, as he approached the couple.

"Yes Horatio." Jessica said, "It's the closure, we both need it. We need to tell Izzy good-bye so we can move on with our lives. We can't stay stuck in the past anymore."

Horatio smiled at his daughter, knowing she didn't mean just the small child that Ryan had asked to name Elizabeth.

They walked down to the water and stood at its edge. Ryan opened the urn and looked into the ashes at the bottom. He reached in and took out a small amount and held it in his hand. He held out the urn for Horatio and Jessica next. Ryan looked out into the vast amount of water.

"Good-bye Elizabeth." Ryan said, "I'm sorry I never had the chance to meet you. You were a beautiful person and you changed so many lives." Ryan held out his hand and let the ashes pour from it and into the wind.

"Good-bye Izzy Bug." Horatio said, "The time we spent together was too short lived. I'll never forget the day you came into my life. I'll always love you." Horatio opened his hand and let the ashes slowly leave his hand.

"Good-bye Izzy." Jessica said, "You were my past, present, and future. I have so much to thank you for. You are what made me who I am today. I'll never forget you, Izzy, as long as I live." Jessica held her hand out. She didn't open it for a moment but she finally unlocked one finger at a time. She watched as the ashes were lifted from her hand and seemed to fly away out onto the ocean. "Thank you."

Ryan wrapped his arms around Jessica and held her close, the small urn with the remaining ashes pressed between their bodies. "I love you." he said to her, "You're one of the strongest people I know and I admire you so much for it." Jessica wrapped her arms around Ryan and buried her face into his chest. "I love you, too." She said to him.

They turned and were met with a sight they weren't expecting to see. Standing at the top of the hill was the entire team plus Alexx. Jessica released Ryan's hand and ran up the hill. Ryan and Horatio followed her close behind.

"What are you guys doing here?" Jessica asked.

Alexx stepped forward and smiled at her. "Daddy H told us you guys would be here honoring Elizabeth and we wanted to be here for you."

"Really?" Jessica quietly asked.

"Yeah," Jesse said, "We all wanted to come see her one last time."

"Because we're a family," Eric said pulling Jessica into his arms, "And that's what family does."

"Blood doesn't matter." Calleigh said, "What matters is the love we have for each other."

"And when one of us is hurt the rest of us hurt." Natalia said.

"We're in this together." Tom said.

"Whether we want to be or not," Walter finished.

"Because this is our family," Alexx said, "And there's nothing we can do about it now."


	20. Last Words

Thursday  
>Last Words<p>

James Wilson sat in his bullet proof Plexiglas cell. He stared at the tray on the small table he had pulled in front of his bed. On it was the remains of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a carton of milk. He had been offered anything he wanted to have for lunch, but he didn't care. He didn't want to make a spectacle of this. He knew it was already going to be a three ring circle. Dozens of people waiting to watch his last breathe. He was going to live this day like any other.

A knock on the see through wall distracted him. "Wilson, you have a visitor!" the guard boomed through the speaker. James stood and walked over to the door. There was a man standing with the guard. He was tall with dark brown hair and eyes. He was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt and red tie. Clipped to the breast pocket of his jacket was a police badge. James walked closer and could see "Miami Dade" printed across the top.

"Who are you?" James asked.

"Good to see you again too James." The man said. His voice was angry and his eyes burned with hatred as he stared at James.

"Have we met?"

"Yes, but the last time you saw me I was protecting Jessica Caine in a court room."  
>James stared at him for a moment as he thought back to that day. "You were one of the body guards."<br>"Correct, my name is Jesse Cardoza and I work with Dr. Jessica Caine at the Miami Dade Crime Lab."

"What are you doing here?" James sneered at him. "Where's Izzy?"

"Elizabeth Caine, or Johnson as you may remember her, has been dead for fourteen years James. It's time you stopped living in the past. Elizabeth Wolfe is also dead. You know, the baby you ripped from my best friend."

"Then where's the bitch who used to be Izzy?"

"Jessica Caine? She's still in Miami."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here representing Dr. Jessica Caine. I'm here to witness your execution on behalf of Elizabeth Johnson Caine. I'm here to make sure you never hurt another person ever again."

James spit at the glass towards the man's face. The man didn't even flinch and watched as the saliva ran down the glass. "Fuck off!"

"Funny, that's the message Jessica asked me to give you." He motioned to the guard and they walked away. "Stop!" James yelled at him. The man turned and looked at him. "Tell her, tell the girl who used to be Izzy that I love her. I've loved her since the day I met her. I never stopped loving her and I never will."  
>The man stared at him with a disgusted expression on his face. "You don't love her, you never did. If you really loved her you wouldn't have hurt her all those years. You would have respected her and cared for her. You would have never done the things you did to her. You would have let her keep her babies. You would have done all the things Ryan does for her."<p>

The man walked back to his cell and stared at him. "She's going to marry him. Jessica and Ryan are going to get married and have beautiful children. Children you can't murder. He's going to make her happier than she's ever been in her old life. Think about that while you fall asleep today. Think about all the things you could have done for her if you hadn't killed her on the inside." He turned and walked away, leaving James alone again.

He sat there in his cell. He was angry, he was fuming. That man said that he had never loved Izzy. He was wrong. He didn't know what went on in his head. No one did.

The guard came to his cell. He said something to James. James didn't really hear him; he just walked to the door and held out his hands. Cuffs were placed around his wrist through an opening in the door. The door opened and the guard pulled him out by his handcuffs. A chain was wrapped around his waist and his hands cuffed to this. A second guard cuffed his ankles and attached them to the chain around his waist also.

Four armed guards led him down the corridor. He was in an elevator, riding down, down underground, down closer to hell. He could see the room, the room where he would spend his last minutes. They strapped him to the gurney. James looked around. There was a window with curtains in front of it. The guards signaled to someone and the curtain opened.

There they were, the dozen people selected to watch him die. The man was sitting there, right in the front row. He looked at James with a look of disgust. James looked back at the prison guard. He read off the charges against James and announced that he was sentenced to die that day. He looked at James, an unsympathetic expression on his face.

"James Wilson do you have any last words?" the guard asked him.

James turned to the window where the people sat and smiled a nasty grin. "I don't see what's so wrong with what I've done. All I ever wanted was to spend my life with the girl I loved. I'm done fighting though. I'll miss my Izzy but I hope she dies so we can be together again."

The man stared at James and shook his head. _"__Fuck__you__"_ he mouthed to James.

The prison ward was sitting amongst the witnesses. He nodded at the guards. One walked to the machine and began flipping switches. James watched as the first tube began to fill with liquid. It reached his arm. He felt his muscles begin to relax and he started to feel sleepy. He turned his head and looked at the man again. "Watch your back CSI guy!" He weakly said, "My brothers are still there in Miami and they've got something planned for you! Tell Izzy I love her and I'll see her in hell!"

Jesse watched as James's eyes slowly shut. His head fell to the side and his breathing slowed. The guard flipped another switch and more fluid filled the lines to James's arm. His body slowly began to stop moving; his fingers no longer twitched, his leg stopped bouncing, and his chest stopped rising. The last switch was flipped and everything stopped. Twenty minutes later a doctor came in and checked James's vitals. He nodded his head and wrote something down.

"James Wilson, dead, May 20th, 2010 at 4:37pm." The doctor announced.

Jesse breathed a sigh of relief. He stopped the video recorder on his phone and blinked back tears he could feel forming. He saved the video and stared at his phone. His heart was heavy and his head started to hurt. He didn't want to move. He just sat there looking at James's dead body.

"It's all over Jess." He whispered to himself, "Everything's going to be ok."


	21. Not Alone

Friday  
>Not Alone<p>

Jessica and Ryan walked through the crime lab together. Jessica was quiet and Ryan knew why. She was thinking about the day before. James had been executed. Jessica had opted out to not go because she didn't want to go back to Illinois for him. Ryan wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head.

"You're so strong." He whispered, "I admire you for your strength and I love you."

Jessica smiled and leaned her head into his shoulder. "I love you, too."

"Dr. Caine, Mr. Wolfe," they heard someone say. They turned to see Rick Stetler walking up behind them. "If I'm not mistaken this kind behavior is strictly forbidden within the office, even if the person involved is the daughter of the Lieutenant."  
>"Rick," Horatio said appearing out of a lab, "Now I know you're not harassing my daughter and her fiancé."<br>Stetler laughed. "You're still using that story Horatio? Do you really think I'm that dumb?"

"I was hoping." Horatio retorted.

Stetler scoffed. "You know, Horatio, Wolfe's still breaking the rules by dating a subordinate."  
>"Well that shows how much you know Rick. Ryan and Jessica are both CSI level three. So really there isn't any rule breaking going on here."<p>

Stetler stared at him in disbelief. "Your daughter is level three already? I thought new recruits had to start at level one."  
>"Well in normal circumstances that would be true. However, Dr. Caine isn't exactly a new recruit. In case you forgot, Dr. Caine completed an internship here in the crime lab. When she took her examination she tested into level three. Her experience and knowledge is beyond that of some of my veteran investigators. I felt it was only proper to employ her as such. In fact Rick I do believe I needed your approval for this placement and if I'm correct you approved Dr. Caine without a second thought."<br>Stetler stared at Horatio lividly. Horatio smiled at him and patiently waited. "You think you're so smart Horatio."  
>"You're right, I do. I believe that's where my daughter got it."<p>

Stetler sneered at him. "Some day Caine, some day." He turned and walked away heatedly.

Horatio watched him leave and chuckled. "Some day I think he's going to fire me."

"God Dad, that's the last thing we need around here." Jessica said, "If you left we'd be screwed."

"Jessica" they heard someone say. Jessica turned to see Jesse walking towards her. She smiled at him and he pulled her into his arms.

"Jess," Jesse said, "I need to talk to you about something."  
>"What is it?" Jessica asked.<p>

Jesse pulled out his phone and opened his videos. "I have a video that I don't know if you want to see."  
>"What is it?" Jessica asked, feeling her heart start to pump.<p>

"It's his execution." Jesse said, "I didn't know if you wanted to see it or not." Tears started to form in his eyes. He looked at his phone and closed out the videos and started to put it into his pocket. "I understand…"

Jessica grabbed his hand and reached for his pocket. "I want to see it." She whispered, "I want to see the life leave his body."

Horatio grabbed her arm and looked into her eyes. "Not alone," he said.

All four walked to Horatio's office. Jessica, Horatio, and Ryan sat on the couch together. Ryan held her left hand and Horatio her right. The phone rested on Jessica's legs and she was taking slow, measured breathes. Jesse knelt in front of her.

"You sure about this?" he asked.

Jessica nodded her head. "There are only a few things that I've ever been more sure about." She pulled Ryan's hand to her face and kissed his knuckles. She did the same with Horatio's hand. "These are two of them."

Jesse smiled at her. "Alright then." He hit the play button and placed the phone back in her lap.

Jessica stared at the screen. There he was. He looked so vulnerable. They strapped him down and stuck the lines into his arm. Her heart pounded as she listened to his last speech, saying he loved Izzy.

They began injecting him. The line quickly filled and pumped through James's arm. He said something. He looked directly at the camera and Jessica felt her blood run cold at the sight of his eyes. He spoke to Jesse.

"_Watch your back CSI guy! My brothers are still there in Miami and they've got something planned for you! Tell Izzy I love her and I'll see her in hell!"_

His eyes closed and his head fell to the side. Another switch was flipped and less movement. Minutes ticked by and then there was a doctor. He checked James and made a few notes. He turned to the witnesses and spoke.

"_James Wilson, dead, May 20th, 2010 at 4:37pm." _

The video stopped and Jessica stared at the screen. A grating sound escape Jessica's throat as she cried out. She doubled over and rested her forehead against her legs. Her body shook with her sobs and she squeezed Ryan and Horatio's hands. She cried and screamed as the pain filled her body. She didn't know how long she sat there crying. Eventually her eyes ran dry and her chest hurt from the force of her shrieks.

Jessica sat up and looked into Jesse's eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you Jesse. I needed to see that. I needed to know he's gone for good."  
>Jesse pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. "You're welcome Jess," he choked out<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>What would people think of my credit card receipts? Would they understand why that week's blank? Would they know what really happened? Would they understand how I almost ended it all to escape the pain? Would they know how it was one man that kept me from doing the unthinkable? Would they know who that man was to you? Would they understand our hotel nights? Would they understand how after everything that happened I still loved you? Would they know what I would give up just to be with you again?<em>

"_So what of hotel nights and sleepless days? I'd give them all away to be with you forever."_

* * *

><p><strong>Thus ends another chapter with Ryan and Jessica. But fret not my faithful readers the next story is around the corner! :D<strong>

**Ps- If anyone's wondering about the quotes at the beginning and the end of the story its Jessica and Ryan reminiscing about the week Jessica was gone. The beginning is Jessica and the end is Ryan. I tried to make it as obvious as I could, but I didn't want people to be confused.**

**Peace out! ~KC**


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